Finding a guy when you don't really go 'out'

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by JacksonsMom, Dec 30, 2012.

  1. JacksonsMom

    JacksonsMom Active Member

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    So, a spin-off of the other thread.

    How can you find a guy when you never really go 'out'? I never go barhopping, I typically just go out with close girl friends for dinner/movies/etc, etc. I'm at a community college, where my chances of finding someone nice enough is rare, LOL. I don't see many from high school anymore. But I'd feel kind of dumb signing up for one of those online sites, too... lol. I'm not really religious, so I'd feel weird finding a church group, but it would be nice to find more things to be involved in, other than dog-related activities.

    I don't know, anyone else ever any similar situations? How did you find your SO? And don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily in the market right now. I'm somewhat content with being single for now (I'm 22 and still living at home). I am aiming to be out in about a year and a half after getting my medical assistant degree. But I really would love to find a good guy to do things with, companionship, and all that fun stuff...

    I guess just advice! That it's not totally hopeless!
     
  2. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I met my ex at a martial arts class.. perhaps try taking a class in something you are interested in?

    meetup.com is awesome! meet up with people who share your interests, from board games to wine tastings to all kinds of things! It's not a dating site but it will get you out with people who are interested in the same thing as you.. and many of the people on that site are early 20's

    and find a bar that you like! lol they do exist! I hate clubbing (loud music, close spaces, ick) but I've found some really awesome bars in Boston with game nights and great drinks and awesome people!
     
  3. JacksonsMom

    JacksonsMom Active Member

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    Thanks, I was gonna go look for some classes, and I always forget about meetup.com... This is going to be one of my new years resolutions ... just get out and DO more things!

    There are a few bars local that I don't mind, but I will never really go by myself, LOL. I just can't see myself doing that. And it's so hard to get me and my close friends together on the same nights... everyone has such different schedules, jobs, family, boyfriends etc...
     
  4. Picklepaige

    Picklepaige Active Member

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    I met my "partner" (we're not exactly dating per say, but we might as well be lol) as a "friend of a friend" sort of deal. I don't really go out either, and I was fine and dandy with being alone the rest of my life. It just kind of happened. But I was never into actually going out and looking for someone; I figured if it did happen, it would be a big coincidence :p

    Sorry I'm no help. Like you, I'm not really into going to bars and clubs and those sort of things. Maybe something will just come together :)
     
  5. JacksonsMom

    JacksonsMom Active Member

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    That's what I'm hoping! Like I said, I'm not all like 'omg I need to find someone NOW and want to make babies...' LOL. I am in NO hurry at all to settle, but would just like companionship like I said. But am okay and content with my life the way it is, for now, too. But I know eventually I will be looking for more.
     
  6. Southpaw

    Southpaw orange iguanas.

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    Hahaha I was just wondering this like.... last night. :p

    I have a small group of friends and we've known each other for a long time, so it's not like I'm going to meet anyone new from them. I'm out of school, I don't "go out".... so where the heck do I meet people?? Not even just guys.... just anybody new!

    I keep telling myself I should take a class of some sort and see what happens. I'm just so painfully shy and my anxiety sky rockets just thinking about trying something new like that, all on my own. But maybe I will push myself to do that, now that I have a job with a consistent schedule so that I CAN sign up for something.

    So yeah. You and I. Same boat. :eek:
     
  7. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    well, Brian and I met on yahoo chat LOL. Not a dating site or anything. We just came across each other, chatted and... viola.
     
  8. JacksonsMom

    JacksonsMom Active Member

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    YAY I'm so glad I'm not alone! lol. You have no idea. Sounds like we're in exactly the same boat.

    I agree, not just guys, but people in general.

    Dogs have been awesome for new friends, for sure. I have quite a few new friends I've met thru chaz, other forums, dog park, etc. So that's nice. But it's typically all females! lol.
     
  9. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    Meetup.com is dry around here unless I want to go to a Ron Paul rally LOL.

    I dunno. I keep figuring one of my friends has GOT to know somebody... but it's not panning out. I have never been hit on at the gym, which is a miracle because I can't go anywhere and not get some skeezy guy hitting me on. I'd LIKE to meet somebody at the gym because I'd love to meet somebody who's into being a gym rat as much as I am haha. But when we are at the gym we're there to work, not flirt, so... it's good and bad at the same time.

    I'm pretty sure it's never going to happen at this point. Not to sound like a downer, I'm almost 29 so you have plenty of time to get all frustrated like I am LMAO.

    I am signed up on a few dating sites but... meh. =/ Skeezy guys about and the only guy I ever considered approaching on my own had something in his profile about "I keep thinking about moving to California!!" and I'm not moving so I never bothered. I know people who got married off dating sites but I think you have to slog through a lot of poo to find anything good.
     
  10. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    I met my husband playing online game. I know people who've met someone with dating sites.
     
  11. crazedACD

    crazedACD Active Member

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    Haha, I'm in the same boat as you guys. I don't know many people around here to 'go out' with. I found the online thing to work pretty well. I'm kind of nervous about bringing up the big things (is it too soon? Do I sound like a clinger? etc ) so it was nice to get the big things out of the way first (must love dogs, must hate kids ;) ). I will probably end up doing that again when I make it to AZ.

    I came to the realization some time ago though that it is very hard to seriously date if you are both living with your parents. And not just sex (though that is hard too), but if we wanted to make dinner and eat together...there's always someone else around. My last boyfriend we were just shut into each other's bedrooms and didn't spend much time together just hanging out.
     
  12. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    My first boyfriend I met through friends...I wasn't someone who "went out" or met new people a lot, but he was a friend of friend in high school, and he went away to college, but came back for the summer and came to a small gathering...we were basically in the same circle of 8 or so friends.

    The next guy I dated....was the best friend of a guy I meet in a psych ward. So...not much help.

    I have some friends I met on craigslist, via book clubs, and one I met on OKCupid (just looking for friends). Also, when my ex and I split up for a summer, I went out a few times with a guy I met....through a friend. She met him when her ex boyfriend mixed his record, and introduced us to each other when my foster got adopted and thought she should take me to play with his dog to cheer me up.

    I've also been asked out by a few guys from my (very large) college...a guy from work...a guy I met at a memorial day barbecue. Basically, I just meet people when I do things. If your friends mention a guy friend....tell them to invite him out with you all. Even if he's not single or not interested/interesting, he probably has other guy friends who are. If you go bowling with girlfriends and see a group of guys at the next lane, ask if they want to split a pizza. Meetups, classes, groups, etc. are a good way to meet new people.
     
  13. FG167

    FG167 New Member

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    My fiancé and I met via a GSD forum. I was looking for a GSD and a Corgi and he was researching Dutch Shepherds.

    That being said, we just moved to a new state and are workaholics that have no friends :( I'm incredibly home sick and lonely (we are driving back to TN from MI right now), and was seriously thinking the same thing! I am looking at taking a photography class or workshop and also maybe joining a running group. I am interested in learning a defense sport but can't commit to a certain time schedule due to work :(
     
  14. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    Yeah, meeting new friends is just as hard as meeting a boyfriend it seems, lol.
     
  15. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    Honestly I think meeting friends is harder than meeting guys. It seems like 90% of women are only interested in trying to find a boyfriend (at least around here), anyway.
     
  16. PWCorgi

    PWCorgi Priscilla Winifred Corgi

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    I met Ryan on here, lol.

    That probably doesn't help.
     
  17. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    I have been TRYING to meet a guy on dog sites and at agility. I watched Dave Munnings' DVD and was like "Where are THESE guys when I go to trials?? Cute British guys with border collies?? I WOULD DATE THESE GUYS."
    *flips table*
     
  18. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Best advice I ever got when it comes to the whole dating thing?
    Work on you. Do what you love and pursue your interests, get out there and do stuff that doesn't suck with people who don't suck.. the significant-other thing will work itself out.

    I've never met a boyfriend when I was looking for one lol
     
  19. Julee

    Julee UNSTOPPABLE

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    I met my dude on a reptile site (Pangea, for any reptile people :p) in '09.
     
  20. FG167

    FG167 New Member

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    This!!!!! Totally agree!

    Trying to follow this for friends too...
     

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