I'm going out of my mind... I feel like I'm this | | close to a panic attack. I haven't had a panic attack in over a year. I spend all day cleaning and doing school and chasing after Winnie and dealing with nine million other things... and I have ZERO time for me. I cleaned the whole house today, top to bottom, all the EFFING things... First Piglet pees on the floor (I don't know what her deal is, I guess we need to work on house breaking now - Humane Society said she already was, whatever) then Winnie takes off her diaper and pees on the floor... So I give her a bath... then she finds the powdered sugar somewhere and spreads it all over the floor, herself, the washing machine, cabinets and dogs - all of which I've just cleaned. Jon's not feeling good today so he's not a lot of help. I cleaned EVERYTHING up, and then Winnie tears up a book all over the floor in our bedroom. I just got done making the bed and went to sit on the couch to rest for a minute thinking Jon was watching her. Nope. Not so. I want a break. I want to go somewhere with no kids, or take Winnie back to being three months old when she started sleeping through the night but was still cuddly and not running all over the place destroying all the things. My head and mouth have been hurting for two weeks, I have a cavity where a filling came out and I have to wait until freaking APRIL for my dental insurance to kick in... It was military dentists that put the filling in in the first place, I'm not sure I trust them to do this again. I want to go to Arizona, go to the ranch and pitch a tent on the edge of the property where nobody can come bother me. I'm sick of everything and every one and not having any time for me. I wanna go dance naked in the woods somewhere, but I'm afraid to even practice my freaking religion right now for fear that someone's going to vandalize our house or worse again. I hate Texas. I want to go back to Colorado and be done with everything for a LONG time. FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I'm gonna get the hell of the internet, take my bottle of wine to bed, and drink and read a book until I fall asleep. Not the norm for me, but damnit right now I freaking DESERVE it. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cookie and a glass of wine to you if you read that whole thing.