Do you want kids?
- Thread starter Fran101
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I was honestly unsure that I wanted kids. Inclined to no, and I wanted the situation to be perfect.
I got married to a guy who definitely wanted to be a father, and I was still worried and unsure of myself as a parent.
Then we got pregnant and had Gabe. Now, there is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed to have him in my life. He is absolutely amazing. My husband and I are now contemplating having 3-4 kiddos.
I got married to a guy who definitely wanted to be a father, and I was still worried and unsure of myself as a parent.
Then we got pregnant and had Gabe. Now, there is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed to have him in my life. He is absolutely amazing. My husband and I are now contemplating having 3-4 kiddos.
My mom had me when she was 36, so being an "older" mom is possible and from what I read, it is becoming more common in recent years. When mom had me it was like from what she said, not very common at all and other mothers were all like "your kid will be retarded" and other mean things 
. Luckily her pregnancy was fairly normal, she didn't even have cravings or morning sickness lol.
. Luckily her pregnancy was fairly normal, she didn't even have cravings or morning sickness lol.
My mom had me when she was 36, so being an "older" mom is possible and from what I read, it is becoming more common in recent years. When mom had me it was like from what she said, not very common at all and other mothers were all like "your kid will be retarded" and other mean things . Luckily her pregnancy was fairly normal, she didn't even have cravings or morning sickness lol.
. Luckily her pregnancy was fairly normal, she didn't even have cravings or morning sickness lol.
But she has a LOT of her friends that for YEARS were adamant about not having kids. Like up until their 30's. I can think of 5 of her friends off the top of my head that had babies in their 40's (who all did NOT want kids EVER) and are extremely happy. They're so happy they decided to change their mind. They got their fun and partying out of the way in their 20s and 30s are now are at a great place in their life.
There's obviously benefits to having kids younger as well. But yeah having babies in your late 30's, early 40's IS entirely possible and shouldn't mean "never" just because you're 38 or whatever.
Yes.
The right guy is vital to me though. I do not want to be one of those mothers who has to do everything - all the cooking, all the cleaning, most or all of the childcare, plus maybe doing a job on top of that...THAT sort of life, that sort of family, terrifies me. My ideal would be a guy who wanted to be a stay at home dad - that's the dream! - but both or one of us having flexible schedules would also be good. I just am not very domestic, but I don't think that precludes me from having or wanting children.
The right guy is vital to me though. I do not want to be one of those mothers who has to do everything - all the cooking, all the cleaning, most or all of the childcare, plus maybe doing a job on top of that...THAT sort of life, that sort of family, terrifies me. My ideal would be a guy who wanted to be a stay at home dad - that's the dream! - but both or one of us having flexible schedules would also be good. I just am not very domestic, but I don't think that precludes me from having or wanting children.
LOL that reminds me of what my mom has always told me. I'm their only daughter, and the youngest, so the fact that I've always been "anti-kid" has taken her a LONG time to come to terms with. She's always said "You just get pregnant and have the baby, I'll raise it for you!"
The thought of being pregnant.. just.. no. I like my 92lb. frame thank you very much.
The thought of being pregnant.. just.. no. I like my 92lb. frame thank you very much.
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I think we are a tentative "maybe". Personally, I've never really wanted kids. I like kids after the age of 3yrs old just fine and I do enjoy teaching them things, but I can't stand babies. I don't really know how I'd be able to handle it if I ever had a baby, I'd probably need a lot of support and down time. My BF does want at least one child though, he comes from a family of 13 including him (some half siblings, his family is mormon), so I think he liked having kids around. Luckily, he doesn't want a million, just one maybe two max.
So, we are a "maybe" one if everything falls into place financially and we can get genetic screening. We are also 100% sure we would need it to be a boy, girls are out of the question for genetic health issues that run on his side in girls.
So, we are a "maybe" one if everything falls into place financially and we can get genetic screening. We are also 100% sure we would need it to be a boy, girls are out of the question for genetic health issues that run on his side in girls.
If you would've asked me 3.5 years ago I would've said NO! Now I have a three year old, a one year old and two step kids who are six and four who live with me 3 days a week. It is crazy. In my current situation no I do not want another. When I am in my career of choice and depending on how effected by his ASD Briggs is (I can't do another kid right now because of how much he needs me... his brother has to be in daycare 4x a week because of all his therapy) then I would be open to the idea.
And if there was an oops... I dunno.
And if there was an oops... I dunno.
I'm firmly planted in the "undecided" category.
I don't really have a compelling argument NOT to have a kid... other than that newborns bore me. My parents would be awesome grandparents, I like kids, kids like me, I don't have any major genetic disorders or anything.
I think it will come down to letting whatever happens, happen. If it happens, great. If not, I'm not going to pursue fertility treatments.
For now, I'm happy being Aunty to friend's kids. And buying gifts for friend's kids.
I don't really have a compelling argument NOT to have a kid... other than that newborns bore me. My parents would be awesome grandparents, I like kids, kids like me, I don't have any major genetic disorders or anything.
I think it will come down to letting whatever happens, happen. If it happens, great. If not, I'm not going to pursue fertility treatments.
For now, I'm happy being Aunty to friend's kids. And buying gifts for friend's kids.
