Do you want kids?

[MrsBoats]

Now that I am closing in on "too old" to really start having kids, I'm truly okay with the fact I don't have them. I have never had the burning desire to procreate...there are days when I think "you know, maybe a kid might have been fun." But then I realize that life has been great without them too. So, no regrets here.

 

[DJEtzel]

I think I'd like kids in the future... maybe 5-10 years down the line.

Not now. haha.

 

[sparks19]

I don't think I ever had the deep burning desire to have kids but I wasn't opposed to it. Now that I have Hannah, it's the most amazing experience. I was always on the fence about having a second child because I'm just enjoying Hannah so much lol. Our house doesn't really permit adding a baby because we have NO WHERE to put a crib. But I am kind of regretting not having a second child when Hannah was younger. She always says she wants a sister but now that she's 6 and by the time baby was born she would be 7 and they would be so far apart in age it seems like it's too late

 

[TuffStuff]

I don't think I ever had the deep burning desire to have kids but I wasn't opposed to it. Now that I have Hannah, it's the most amazing experience. I was always on the fence about having a second child because I'm just enjoying Hannah so much lol. Our house doesn't really permit adding a baby because we have NO WHERE to put a crib. But I am kind of regretting not having a second child when Hannah was younger. She always says she wants a sister but now that she's 6 and by the time baby was born she would be 7 and they would be so far apart in age it seems like it's too late

My brother is 13 years older than me. My younger sister is 13 years younger than me. If you want to have another and are in a good position to, go for it. If not, wait until you are. There's no "too late" about it.

 

[SaraB]

Yes, I think I would be okay without a kid but I also would like to have kids. The cost terrifies me lately, though.

This. However the dramatic increase of dad jokes that are coming out of my husband's mouth lately seems to be pushing us towards kids. I was always on the fence but I know my husband will make a great dad and I think he needs that in his life. So for him, I'm open to it. I did tell him however, that I will not have kids in our current house/neighborhood, so it won't be for a couple more years.

 

[Taqroy]

I don't particularly like babies, though children are pretty fun. For me it's more the fear of such a big change in lifestyle. I love the life we have now and I have a good amount of down time to do what I want. I'm not looking forward to losing that, but I'm hoping the love I have for my child more than makes up for it.

This was me a year and a half ago. I do miss having uninterrupted free time but my kid is SO MUCH FUN.

I always wanted kids and I really enjoy having one. Matt wants to stop at two but I kind of like the idea of three. (I do not like the idea of paying 3x daycare tuition though...yikes.)

 

[sparks19]

My brother is 13 years older than me. My younger sister is 13 years younger than me. If you want to have another and are in a good position to, go for it. If not, wait until you are. There's no "too late" about it.

My siblings are all much older/younger than I am as well. there is 20 years between my oldest sibling and my youngest sibling. NONE of us are close. We don't talk really unless we are up there visiting or they are here visiting. It's like being an only child with siblings if that makes sense lol. that's my only reservation. I don't like the idea of siblings who are so far apart that they don't relate and they just have older child/younger child relationship instead of sister/sister or brother/sister relationship.

does that make any sense at all? lol

 

[Taqroy]

My siblings are all much older/younger than I am as well. there is 20 years between my oldest sibling and my youngest sibling. NONE of us are close. We don't talk really unless we are up there visiting or they are here visiting. It's like being an only child with siblings if that makes sense lol. that's my only reservation. I don't like the idea of siblings who are so far apart that they don't relate and they just have older child/younger child relationship instead of sister/sister or brother/sister relationship.

does that make any sense at all? lol

My sister and my brother are 8 years apart and they're pretty close. I think closeness tends to have a lot more to do with personality than age gap (20 years is a lot though!).

I feel like the sibling relationship is overstated a lot of the time though - my sister and I had a really unhealthy relationship for years and then had basically no relationship and just now are starting to have a very superficial relationship. Because if we weren't siblings we wouldn't even talk to each other. On the other hand, I have a very close friend that I talk to at least every other day and hang out with every week. Just because you're related and close in age doesn't mean you're going to like each other.

 

[TuffStuff]

My siblings are all much older/younger than I am as well. there is 20 years between my oldest sibling and my youngest sibling. NONE of us are close. We don't talk really unless we are up there visiting or they are here visiting. It's like being an only child with siblings if that makes sense lol. that's my only reservation. I don't like the idea of siblings who are so far apart that they don't relate and they just have older child/younger child relationship instead of sister/sister or brother/sister relationship.

does that make any sense at all? lol

I don't think you'd have that problem. I mean, I could be wrong, but I'm no closer to the sister near my age than I am to the others. And I can't see Hannah and her sibling not being super close with as close of a family as you seem to be, always doing things together and whatnot.

ETA:

I think closeness tends to have a lot more to do with personality than age gap.

^ That's what I was trying to say. lol

 

[Laurelin]

I agree. I'm pretty close with both my sisters who are 6 and 11 years younger than me.

 

[Dizzy]

I don't think Hannah would let that happen. And even if she was a little girl who was a big sister, I don't think that's bad either. There's plenty of dynamics to sibling relationships that have nothing to do with age... Just depends on your family and how you make things work! And if it's what you want

I think you should have another baby

 

[xpaeanx]

Sparks, my brother is 15 years older than me... Going up I was pretty much glued to his leg. He lives in Maui now, so I unfortunately don't get to see him much but he is still very much my older brother whom I simply adore. He helped me through so much in my life. I honestly don't even want to *think* about where I would be without him.

Based on what you post here I get the feeling your family dynamics are very close-knit and fun loving. I also get the sense that one of the things you truly enjoyed about Hannah was the part of you that got to be a kid again. And lastly that Hannah loves being goofy and has a very big caring heart, just like her mother. So, she may not have the "playmate" you were hoping for, but I think she would love playing with the baby just as much as you enjoyed playing with her. I also think she'd love helping you care for the baby. It may not be the relationship you have envisioned of same age best friends, but I definatly see there being a strong bond between them based on your overall close family bond.

 

[Elrohwen]

This was me a year and a half ago. I do miss having uninterrupted free time but my kid is SO MUCH FUN.

I always wanted kids and I really enjoy having one. Matt wants to stop at two but I kind of like the idea of three. (I do not like the idea of paying 3x daycare tuition though...yikes.)

You know, it's funny. Before Watson I had way more free time, but I was actually excited to give it up in order to have a dog. I wanted a dog to fill some of my free time and be my "hobby". A kid scares me because they don't just fill up *some* of your free time, they fill up *all* of your free time! I'm sure I'll really enjoy it though, once I take the leap.

I can't imagine 3 kids though! I was an only, so that seems normal for me. My husband is one of two, so of course he wants two kids. I guess it's all what you're used to.

 

[sassafras]

I think closeness tends to have a lot more to do with personality than age gap.

Agreed. My two brothers are 3 and 5 years older than me and we are not really all that close.

 

[~Jessie~]

My sister is 10 years younger than me and we're close. We actually have a lot in common including our love of chihuahuas. I'm thankful that my parents had her... I couldn't imagine not having a little sister

Anyway, I didn't think I wanted children for most of my life. I never liked dolls or babies when I was a kid. When I was in high school and early college I had no interest in ever having my own kids.

When I hit 21/22 years old the idea of children became appealing. A lot of people say they don't want kids because it limits the things they can do... but we don't plan on letting that happen. We're still going to travel, and although some big trips (Peru, African safari, etc.) will have to be put on hold until the kids are older, we'll be able to see a lot of cool places! We're planning on homeschooling our children and I'm excited to work education into travel

Baby is due in July and I'm going to be a stay at home mom which I'm really looking forward to. It's something I've wanted to do for the past 7 years and it's a good time for us. We've been married for 5 years, have been on a bunch of amazing trips, and I'm really looking forward to this next leg of our adventure

 

[Taqroy]

You know, it's funny. Before Watson I had way more free time, but I was actually excited to give it up in order to have a dog. I wanted a dog to fill some of my free time and be my "hobby". A kid scares me because they don't just fill up *some* of your free time, they fill up *all* of your free time! I'm sure I'll really enjoy it though, once I take the leap.

I can't imagine 3 kids though! I was an only, so that seems normal for me. My husband is one of two, so of course he wants two kids. I guess it's all what you're used to.

I still have free time! I just don't have scads of it like I used to. Lol. It is no longer acceptable for me to get home and lay on the sofa all night or be gone 2-3 nights a week. Matt and I have an arrangement now where we each get one night off a week - I use mine for agility classes and he uses his for gaming. There's also 2-3 hours that are kid free at night after she goes to bed.

Other than the first two - three months I really don't think a kid *should* take up all your free time. That way lies madness and loss of identity. IMO it's important to keep doing things that make you YOU. May have to cut back but you shouldn't quit completely.

 

[~Jessie~]

I still have free time! I just don't have scads of it like I used to. Lol. It is no longer acceptable for me to get home and lay on the sofa all night or be gone 2-3 nights a week. Matt and I have an arrangement now where we each get one night off a week - I use mine for agility classes and he uses his for gaming. There's also 2-3 hours that are kid free at night after she goes to bed.

Other than the first two - three months I really don't think a kid *should* take up all your free time. That way lies madness and loss of identity. IMO it's important to keep doing things that make you YOU. May have to cut back but you shouldn't quit completely.

This is exactly how I feel. I know it's going to be rough for the first few months, but it will get better. Babies and children have bedtimes and we'll have time to ourselves when they're asleep

 

[Elrohwen]

I still have free time! I just don't have scads of it like I used to. Lol. It is no longer acceptable for me to get home and lay on the sofa all night or be gone 2-3 nights a week. Matt and I have an arrangement now where we each get one night off a week - I use mine for agility classes and he uses his for gaming. There's also 2-3 hours that are kid free at night after she goes to bed.

Other than the first two - three months I really don't think a kid *should* take up all your free time. That way lies madness and loss of identity. IMO it's important to keep doing things that make you YOU. May have to cut back but you shouldn't quit completely.

That's great to hear! My husband and I already agreed to the one free night a week thing (which I'll use for dog classes, and he'll use to play basketball). I hope that having only one kid will keep things manageable too, since most people I know with one don't seem overwhelmed, and most people with two talk about how they have no free time (but that might just be my coworkers).

Still, I do enjoy a good weekend hanging out and watching movies or reading a book (aka pretty much doing nothing!) and that seems unlikely to happen once we have a kid. But I think the fun of hanging out with my kid will make up for it.

 

[JacksonsMom]

My siblings are all much older/younger than I am as well. there is 20 years between my oldest sibling and my youngest sibling. NONE of us are close. We don't talk really unless we are up there visiting or they are here visiting. It's like being an only child with siblings if that makes sense lol. that's my only reservation. I don't like the idea of siblings who are so far apart that they don't relate and they just have older child/younger child relationship instead of sister/sister or brother/sister relationship.

does that make any sense at all? lol

It probably just depends on the kids, etc. I mean I am SUPER close to all my siblings. 10 years apart, 13 years apart, and 18 years apart. The funniest part is, with the age difference between me and my youngest sister, we still fight like sisters :rofl1: She grates on my nerves, and I grate on hers too lol. I do still live at home, so that can make a difference obviously. So even though sometimes it's more of an "aunt" type relationship, we're very clearly siblings. Me and my first bro who passed away were 10 years apart and we were VERY close, and definitely the most sibling-like, but my other brother who is now 10 is very much a sibling-relationship too.

7 years is good IMO. They're old enough to help out more than a 3-4 year old would AND in a couple of years, the age difference probably won't matter THAT much.

 

[Beanie]

My sister and I are five years apart. I don't think it has a lot to do with it, but I do know it's a common concern. Years ago I had a friend I worked at Target with and she had a daughter and wanted another, but she was worried they wouldn't get along. She asked me all kinds of questions about my sister and I because she was trying to judge the best age difference, haha. She wanted them to be friends and not fight. I think it really just depends on the kid. I don't know what she ultimately decided, we lost touch after one or the other of us quit working there.

Most siblings, I think, are going to go through phases of each as they're growing up no matter what you do. My sister and I not talking to each other for a few years doesn't have anything to do with the five years between us and more to do with personality issues. I have two friends who have/had major issues with siblings and age might possibly be a factor in one situation, but more than anything it has to do with personality issues or Things That Happened.