Breastfeeding in public

[mjb]

I was not aware that breastfeeding in public had become a problem. I have lived, had babies, and nursed them in public in South Carolina, south Georgia, and north Florida. My oldest is 28, so that's how long ago it was, and no one ever said a word to me, made a face, or showed any discomfort at all, and I always took my babies with me, to the mall, grocery store, doctor, restaurants, etc. Granted, I prefered to feed at home, and I tried to feed them right before I left, but depending on how long I was gone (2 hours meant I was going to be feeding one while I was gone). Never a problem.

My daughter is now breastfeeding her second baby. I think she feeds her every time we go somewhere, and there's never been any thing that makes us feel like she is causing anyone to feel uncomfortable. All of her friends with babies breastfeed. The only bottlefed baby I know goes to daycare.

Even 27 years ago, everyone I knew at least attempted to breastfeed.

Maybe it's only an issue in certain areas. We have only been in the deep South, city and rural areas, and have run into no one who lets us know they don't like it.

(My mother who hated the immodesty of bikinis and 'hot pants' when I was a teen was the one who first told me that, yes, we can go out with the baby because you're breastfeeding, so we can just stop and let her eat when she's hungry. Of course, she showed me how to do it where people going by might not even know what was going on).

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

Intimacy != sexual. How is seeing a close moment between a mother and child twisted, or feeling that the moment is intimate being "against" breastfeeding?



I probably actually would think that they probably shouldn't be eating in public.

I wasn't saying it shouldn't be seen--I was (trying) to say the opposite. I'm not doing very well conveying my thoughts.
hmm, I guess after bf'ing three kids--my view is more --I'm feeding my kid. You are right--intimacy has many meanings. I think I was trying to say that those who have a hard time "seeing' bf'ing and think it is an "intimate moment" not to be witnessed---it's not always that magic moment between mother and child. It is a matter of function. I guess I am a practical person---if my husband could have taken half the bf'ing--I'd have let him. :lol-sign:

 

[sparks19]

Intimacy != sexual. How is seeing a close moment between a mother and child twisted, or feeling that the moment is intimate being "against" breastfeeding?



I probably actually would think that they probably shouldn't be eating in public.

You might think it but no one goes on a rant of "OMG this kid was eating with his mouth open. they should put him in a corner or put a blanket over his head" Instead people just rant about lack of manners and discipline (and that's what it is... lack of manners and discipline, not an eating issue or being allowed to eat issue.)

But ... if you don't like breastfeeding that is fine as long as you don't try to stop someone from doing it and don't make comments to shame someone about it.

 

[Danefied]

mjb, I’ve never had an issue either (other than certain relatives who are um... “quirky” in other ways too). However, if you google “applebe’s breastfeeding” or “church breastfeeding” it takes you to two separate, recent incidents that were bad enough to make it in to the news. A church member asked to not breastfeed during service, and a mom had the police called on her in Applebe’s because she refused to go elsewhere to nurse her infant while in a back booth of the restaurant.

 

[Renee750il]

It's feeding. It's not some super magical moment between mom and child, not to be intruded upon or witnessed. Those who think it is so intimate I think are viewing the breast in a sexual manner--THAT is intimacy, and yet we see it all over the television, in movies, etc. Talk about twisted thought process. Breast feeding is that....using the breast to feed. Simple.

No, at least not in my thinking. "Intimate" and "intimacy" aren't necessarily linked to sexual behavior. I'm using it in the classic sense:

a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

The women I've noticed breastfeeding seemed (for the most part) completely absorbed in their child, removed from the rest of the world, in a haven. For me, that's a state to be respected and left in peace.

Besides, it doesn't involve me in any way and it's none of my business

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

Yeah--I'm just going to say I am not finding the right words tonight. There are reasons I don't post sometimes--should have kept it that way today. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have a clearer way to convey what I mean.

 

[Renee750il]

Yeah--I'm just going to say I am not finding the right words tonight. There are reasons I don't post sometimes--should have kept it that way today. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have a clearer way to convey what I mean.

That happens

 

[sassafras]

You might think it but no one goes on a rant of "OMG this kid was eating with his mouth open.

Well if someone started a thread called "kids eating with their mouths open" I might.

 

[Renee750il]

Well if someone started a thread called "kids eating with their mouths open" I might.

LOL! Me too.

That just . . . the noisy smacking, the sheer grossness of it . . .

Good thing I can get lost in reading a book in a restaurant

 

[sparks19]

Well if someone started a thread called "kids eating with their mouths open" I might.

Right... I get it.

However, there are many people who don't require an internet thread to yell nursing mothers how disgusting they are.

 

[sparks19]

Perhaps I should have said that no one takes a child eating with their mouth open as "that mom is just broadcasting her right to have her child eat in public and shove it in everyones face"

 

[LauraLeigh]

Apparently you guys missed the comments earlier in this thread claiming that approaching a woman breastfeeding to say you don't like it is immature and wrong.

I was always careful and discreet as possible, I was young however....

The rude comments, sighs, eye rolling and judgements were more than I could handle....

I began waiting to feed until there were no eyes on me... HUGE mistake!!! I wound up with mastitis, it was the most painful, traumatic experience of my life.... I was ripped from my child at three months and hospitalized for a week... My husband had to deal with forced weaning a three month old... And loose a weeks pay we could not afford...

When I had my son I was to terrified to even try again....

 

[Paige]

I am now curious. For those of who you find breastfeeding uncomfortable to see do you also find it uncomfortable to see an animal nurse their offspring? I had a horse when I was younger that we left to self wean her foal. The baby was 3 and a half before the mom kicked her off entirely. Talk about an extended nursing relationship! She went longer than 99.9% of human moms do.

 

[OwnedByBCs]

That is the reason I hate that it's legal. About making your baby uncomfortable... Are your rights thr only ones that matter i to agree with Barbara you say her, me & others are in the wrong ... It may be your right to breast feed your baby... But isn't it also my right not to want to see it? & at thr table where there is food? Come on... Please!

Also, yes I find obnoxious, tantrum-ing kids & parents who don't do anything about it (they NEVER do anything about it!!!!!) equally annoying.

No. It is absolutely, without question NOT your right to take away another person's rights in order for you to be comfortable. You absolutely have the right to leave a situation, but that is about it. I guess you technically have the right to say something, but don't go thinking that makes you some sort of maverick. It just makes you an immature jerk.

I think it is exactly the same as going up to a gay couple and telling them to "get a room" or that they're being "inappropriate". Is that ok in your book? I mean, a lot of people think that being gay is gross, and they'd rather not see that. Should we make a law banning gay people from being in public together? I mean, we've already taken away most of their rights, so why not add that? I mean, I certainly wouldn't want anyone being uncomfortable.

 

[Barbara!]

I am now curious. For those of who you find breastfeeding uncomfortable to see do you also find it uncomfortable to see an animal nurse their offspring? I had a horse when I was younger that we left to self wean her foal. The baby was 3 and a half before the mom kicked her off entirely. Talk about an extended nursing relationship! She went longer than 99.9% of human moms do.

If they were doing it in the middle of Starbucks, yeah. I'd be a little uncomfortable. Lol.

 

[GipsyQueen]

Apparently you guys missed the comments earlier in this thread claiming that approaching a woman breastfeeding to say you don't like it is immature and wrong.

If she's quietly sitting somewhere, not bothering you - yeah - it is. IMO. If I were bf-ing somewhere in public, maybe in a resteraunt in a booth off to the back, and someone came up to me and said it made them uncomfortable, I'd probably ask them if they prefered a screaming baby during dinner - which they would notice - or if the prefered to no look at me and quietly eat there dinner without being disturbed.

If you're uncomfortable, turn your back to me, and don't stare. Chances are, you won't even notice.

 

[JacksonsMom]

I think it is exactly the same as going up to a gay couple and telling them to "get a room" or that they're being "inappropriate". Is that ok in your book? I mean, a lot of people think that being gay is gross, and they'd rather not see that. Should we make a law banning gay people from being in public together? I mean, we've already taken away most of their rights, so why not add that? I mean, I certainly wouldn't want anyone being uncomfortable.

I think ANY couple, straight or gay, who is publicly full-on making out, and just ALL over each other, etc, is a bit rude... And I often think "get a room" to myself. But I'd never want it to be banned. I mean I get over it, it's just whatever, it's just a thought that goes through my head. Same as breastfeeding to me... sure I find it uncomfortable to be talking to a person face to face nursing. But I'd never see a woman breastfeeding in the mall or w/e and be all "OMG GROSSSSS!!!" or anything. I don't know where anyone is saying there should be a law banning women from breastfeeding... unless I am missing something. Just because something feels uncomfortable to a person doesn't mean they're a horrible person who WANTS EVERYTHING BANNED!! It's just feelings.

 

[Barbara!]

Right, Jackson's Mom. No one is saying that at all. But how DARE we be uncomfortable with it? Lol.

If she's quietly sitting somewhere, not bothering you - yeah - it is. IMO. If I were bf-ing somewhere in public, maybe in a resteraunt in a booth off to the back, and someone came up to me and said it made them uncomfortable, I'd probably ask them if they prefered a screaming baby during dinner - which they would notice - or if the prefered to no look at me and quietly eat there dinner without being disturbed.

If you're uncomfortable, turn your back to me, and don't stare. Chances are, you won't even notice.

Thing is, I wasn't referring to just any old breastfeeding lady. I'm speaking about the obnoxious ones. If they are disrespecting me, then I have every right to say something. My point with that was others on this thread were claiming I shouldn't say something to them, one of my most basic rights, yet are complaining about the woman's right to breastfeed being infringed on.

 

[darkchild16]

but everyones defintion of obnoxious is different. What if they banned obnoxious dogs from going anywhere? To me obnoxious is alot different then it is to you then it is to GipsyQueen then it is to Renee.

Yes some women will go overboard and *I* as a breastfeeding mother try to do my part in taking to women like that (try to show them what works for me and what not). You cant punish all for some.

 

[Barbara!]

Who said anything about banning and punishing??????