Breastfeeding in public

[darkchild16]

People are constantly saying they have a right to complain over some moms doing it which means the cops usually get called out and bully the mom. That it shouldnt be legal, that you should only be able to do it how OTHERS think of being discreet you have YET to ask a question I have asked COUNTLESS times.

If covers are not a option and the place does NOT have a nursing room/area and you cant go to the car what is a mother suppossed to do? SOCIETY is not set up for breastfeeding in private society is set up where you either have the option of the bathroom or public.

 

[~Tucker&Me~]

I think ANY couple, straight or gay, who is publicly full-on making out, and just ALL over each other, etc, is a bit rude... And I often think "get a room" to myself. But I'd never want it to be banned. I mean I get over it, it's just whatever, it's just a thought that goes through my head. Same as breastfeeding to me... sure I find it uncomfortable to be talking to a person face to face nursing. But I'd never see a woman breastfeeding in the mall or w/e and be all "OMG GROSSSSS!!!" or anything. I don't know where anyone is saying there should be a law banning women from breastfeeding... unless I am missing something. Just because something feels uncomfortable to a person doesn't mean they're a horrible person who WANTS EVERYTHING BANNED!! It's just feelings.

I feel the same as you. It makes me uncomfortable but I'm not about to demand it be banned and I wouldn't make a public spectacle, I would simply look away and move on with my life lol. I don't understand why some people are so up in arms about others feeling uncomfortable. If people are rude to you, confront you, or try to infringe on your rights I stand behind mothers who Bf in public. But I also think its unfair to criticize people who feel uncomfortable but are polite - its a feeling! I mean, people pooping is natural and normal, but I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable interacting with someone while they do that, either

 

[darkchild16]

I feel the same as you. It makes me uncomfortable but I'm not about to demand it be banned and I wouldn't make a public spectacle, I would simply look away and move on with my life lol. I don't understand why some people are so up in arms about others feeling uncomfortable. If people are rude to you, confront you, or try to infringe on your rights I stand behind mothers who Bf in public. But I also think its unfair to criticize people who feel uncomfortable but are polite - its a feeling! I mean, people pooping is natural and normal, but I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable interacting with someone while they do that, either

the thing is most of us are saying if the mother is trying to carry on a conversation and you just cant do it TELL her polietly. Heck when Savannah was in the hospital she had a male nurse and he just was not comfortable about it (I wasnt discreet there either wore baggy shirts and lifted them up since I didnt have enough camis to do different) and I just said I'd call him when I was done NBD he wasnt comfortable and we handled it like ADULTS.

 

[Barbara!]

People are constantly saying they have a right to complain over some moms doing it which means the cops usually get called out and bully the mom. That it shouldnt be legal, that you should only be able to do it how OTHERS think of being discreet you have YET to ask a question I have asked COUNTLESS times.

If covers are not a option and the place does NOT have a nursing room/area and you cant go to the car what is a mother suppossed to do? SOCIETY is not set up for breastfeeding in private society is set up where you either have the option of the bathroom or public.

But, who? Who on this thread has said that it shouldn't be legal?

And as I have said, countless, countless times already in this thread, I don't mind if a woman breastfeeds modestly and discreetly. (I'm sure we all know the definition of those words?) But when she does it like the woman I described in Starbucks, then that is crossing a line of public decorum and while it may not be illegal to where the authorities would be called, I would hope and expect the manager of any establishment would escort her out.

 

[LauraLeigh]

I can't remember who but there's been several "that's why I hate that it's legal" type posts.

 

[darkchild16]

I can't remember who but there's been several "that's why I hate that it's legal" type posts.

yep and again DISCREET and MODEST are OPINIONS. SO I should get escorted out if YOU dont feel its discreet or modest enough. Good to know. You have yet to answer which of the pictures posted are discreet enough?

Or what mothers are suppossed to do in the event that there IS no where else to breastfeed.

 

[darkchild16]

Breastfeeding in public without a cover (this is not me. I wish I was that skinny :rofl1: )

how many of these are inappropriate?

WHICH one of these is discreet enough for YOU?

 

[Barbara!]

yep and again DISCREET and MODEST are OPINIONS. SO I should get escorted out if YOU dont feel its discreet or modest enough. Good to know. You have yet to answer which of the pictures posted are discreet enough?

Or what mothers are suppossed to do in the event that there IS no where else to breastfeed.

If you are letting your five year old slap both your boobs around in the middle of a coffee shop while you talk loudly with your husband (yknow, those kinda conversations that people have loudly on purpose just so everyone will think they're cool?) then yeah, I think the owner of said establishment would be well within his rights to escort you out.

I think all of the photos you posted are discreet, in my opinion. You are trying to act like a breastfeeding mother can do no wrong as long as she is breastfeeding her child. Yeah, right.

 

[darkchild16]

If you are letting your five year old slap both your boobs around in the middle of a coffee shop while you talk loudly with your husband (yknow, those kinda conversations that people have loudly on purpose just so everyone will think they're cool?) then yeah, I think the owner of said establishment would be well within his rights to escort you out.

I think all of the photos you posted are discreet, in my opinion. You are trying to act like a breastfeeding mother can do no wrong as long as she is breastfeeding her child. Yeah, right.

Ummm did you miss the one where I said I though a line was crossed In fact I offered that mother a cover to help her and showed her the way I found easiest.

 

[Barbara!]

Ummm did you miss the one where I said I though a line was crossed In fact I offered that mother a cover to help her and showed her the way I found easiest.

Then I don't understand what it is about my posts that you are getting so condescending and worked up about. You seem to have misinterpreted every single one of them.

 

[maxfox426]

But, who? Who on this thread has said that it shouldn't be legal?

That is the reason I hate that it's legal. About making your baby uncomfortable... Are your rights thr only ones that matter i to agree with Barbara you say her, me & others are in the wrong ... It may be your right to breast feed your baby... But isn't it also my right not to want to see it? & at thr table where there is food? Come on... Please!

To be fair, she didn't say it *should* be illegal, but this is where that particular concern is coming from.

yep and again DISCREET and MODEST are OPINIONS. SO I should get escorted out if YOU dont feel its discreet or modest enough. Good to know. You have yet to answer which of the pictures posted are discreet enough?

"Obnoxious" and "disrespectful" are also opinions.




As a breastfeeding mother, all I've learned from this thread is that I should keep 100% to myself or run the risk of being attacked by all parties regardless of what I do. Honestly, it makes me sad that I am equally (if not more) likely of being berated and belittled by another breastfeeding mother as I would an uncomfortable bystander.

Kind of seems like the Cesar Milan method of education, beating our point into one another until we don't dare disagree for fear of the penalties.
I still don't see how that helps anyone.

 

[darkchild16]

To be fair, she didn't say it *should* be illegal, but this is where that particular concern is coming from.




"Obnoxious" and "disrespectful" are also opinions.




As a breastfeeding mother, all I've learned from this thread is that I should keep 100% to myself or run the risk of being attacked by all parties regardless of what I do. Honestly, it makes me sad that I am equally (if not more) likely of being berated and belittled by another breastfeeding mother as I would an uncomfortable bystander.

Kind of seems like the Cesar Milan method of education, beating our point into one another until we don't dare disagree for fear of the penalties.
I still don't see how that helps anyone.

just pointing out the woman I said something too. I asked if she would like to use my cover and she was like X refuses to eat with a cover and nursing tops are sooo hard to handle (they are a pain to deal with) so I was like well this is what worked for me and showed her how it worked for us and she ended up extremely happy that I helped her because she was uncomfortable too. Ended up suggesting the breastfeeding support group I know about and shes didnt even know such thing existed here. SO just because I said something to her doesnt mean it was rude.

 

[Paige]

To really put breastfeeding forward as socially acceptable to do in public it is best to lead with the foot of respecting people's discomforts. If we grant our dog the comfort of not flooding them, should we not grant our fellow humans the same?

I don't want to and won't plan my life around the fact other people have discomforts around my parenting choices. However, there is a respectful and tactful way to agree to disagree. I can nurse discreetly and plan on doing so. I have no issue apolgizing for offending someone if they make it known i have made them feel uncomfortable. I will hold my ground, but in the most gentle way possible. It takes all sorts in this world to make it go around. Just because someone doesn't like to watch a baby nurse doesn't make them an ignorant person. Some times you can't help your initial reaction.

My baby's need to eat does come first to me, but I like to treat others how I want to be treated. If something made me uncomfortable would I want someone to rub it in my face and flood me till I got over it? No. So I will try and do my best not to subject other people to that kind of mentality either.

 

[maxfox426]

just pointing out the woman I said something too. I asked if she would like to use my cover and she was like X refuses to eat with a cover and nursing tops are sooo hard to handle (they are a pain to deal with) so I was like well this is what worked for me and showed her how it worked for us and she ended up extremely happy that I helped her because she was uncomfortable too. Ended up suggesting the breastfeeding support group I know about and shes didnt even know such thing existed here. SO just because I said something to her doesnt mean it was rude.

I wasn't using that as an example of an attack or anything. I certainly do not think you were rude in that situation. Sorry, I should have been more clear. I was just trying to point out that criticizing opinions isn't very useful, as "modest", "discreet", "obnoxious", etc. are going to vary in their definition from person to person, regardless of whether or not they support breastfeeding.

By that, I am trying to say... I'm willing to bet that you and I have different understandings of those words, and we are BOTH breastfeeding supporters. To criticize someone for having a different... well... opinion of those terms just doesn't seem fair in my eyes.

 

[Xandra]

To really put breastfeeding forward as socially acceptable to do in public it is best to lead with the foot of respecting people's discomforts. If we grant our dog the comfort of not flooding them, should we not grant our fellow humans the same?

I don't want to and won't plan my life around the fact other people have discomforts around my parenting choices. However, there is a respectful and tactful way to agree to disagree. I can nurse discreetly and plan on doing so. I have no issue apolgizing for offending someone if they make it known i have made them feel uncomfortable. I will hold my ground, but in the most gentle way possible. It takes all sorts in this world to make it go around. Just because someone doesn't like to watch a baby nurse doesn't make them an ignorant person. Some times you can't help your initial reaction.

My baby's need to eat does come first to me, but I like to treat others how I want to be treated. If something made me uncomfortable would I want someone to rub it in my face and flood me till I got over it? No. So I will try and do my best not to subject other people to that kind of mentality either.

You have an awesome attitude about stuff like this. :hail::hail:

 

[~Jessie~]

To really put breastfeeding forward as socially acceptable to do in public it is best to lead with the foot of respecting people's discomforts. If we grant our dog the comfort of not flooding them, should we not grant our fellow humans the same?

I don't want to and won't plan my life around the fact other people have discomforts around my parenting choices. However, there is a respectful and tactful way to agree to disagree. I can nurse discreetly and plan on doing so. I have no issue apolgizing for offending someone if they make it known i have made them feel uncomfortable. I will hold my ground, but in the most gentle way possible. It takes all sorts in this world to make it go around. Just because someone doesn't like to watch a baby nurse doesn't make them an ignorant person. Some times you can't help your initial reaction.

My baby's need to eat does come first to me, but I like to treat others how I want to be treated. If something made me uncomfortable would I want someone to rub it in my face and flood me till I got over it? No. So I will try and do my best not to subject other people to that kind of mentality either.

Totally this.

I definitely plan on breast feeding my kids, but I don't want to make people uncomfortable, either.

There are lots of things I consider "normal" that make other people uncomfortable. Rory LOVES kids and if he had the choice he would slather each and every one of them with kisses... lol, but I hold him back because it makes parents/children uncomfortable. Some people like walking around the house naked (and do it everyday!), but will wear clothing around visitors/guests. Some people go to the bathroom with the door open, but close it for guests.

Moral of the story- I think we can ALL be considerate of others without compromising too much. If you're walking through a department store and your baby is hungry, walk over to a corner/seat by a clothing section that's less traveled. At a restaurant and your baby needs to eat? Walk outside or cover up. I just don't think that's too challenging.

 

[maxfox426]

To really put breastfeeding forward as socially acceptable to do in public it is best to lead with the foot of respecting people's discomforts. If we grant our dog the comfort of not flooding them, should we not grant our fellow humans the same?

I don't want to and won't plan my life around the fact other people have discomforts around my parenting choices. However, there is a respectful and tactful way to agree to disagree. I can nurse discreetly and plan on doing so. I have no issue apolgizing for offending someone if they make it known i have made them feel uncomfortable. I will hold my ground, but in the most gentle way possible. It takes all sorts in this world to make it go around. Just because someone doesn't like to watch a baby nurse doesn't make them an ignorant person. Some times you can't help your initial reaction.

My baby's need to eat does come first to me, but I like to treat others how I want to be treated. If something made me uncomfortable would I want someone to rub it in my face and flood me till I got over it? No. So I will try and do my best not to subject other people to that kind of mentality either.

Once again, you said it so much better than I ever can.

 

[Barbara!]

Totally this.

I definitely plan on breast feeding my kids, but I don't want to make people uncomfortable, either.

There are lots of things I consider "normal" that make other people uncomfortable. Rory LOVES kids and if he had the choice he would slather each and every one of them with kisses... lol, but I hold him back because it makes parents/children uncomfortable. Some people like walking around the house naked (and do it everyday!), but will wear clothing around visitors/guests. Some people go to the bathroom with the door open, but close it for guests.

Moral of the story- I think we can ALL be considerate of others without compromising too much. If you're walking through a department store and your baby is hungry, walk over to a corner/seat by a clothing section that's less traveled. At a restaurant and your baby needs to eat? Walk outside or cover up. I just don't think that's too challenging.

I agree.

 

[mjb]

To really put breastfeeding forward as socially acceptable to do in public it is best to lead with the foot of respecting people's discomforts. If we grant our dog the comfort of not flooding them, should we not grant our fellow humans the same?

I don't want to and won't plan my life around the fact other people have discomforts around my parenting choices. However, there is a respectful and tactful way to agree to disagree. I can nurse discreetly and plan on doing so. I have no issue apolgizing for offending someone if they make it known i have made them feel uncomfortable. I will hold my ground, but in the most gentle way possible. It takes all sorts in this world to make it go around. Just because someone doesn't like to watch a baby nurse doesn't make them an ignorant person. Some times you can't help your initial reaction.

My baby's need to eat does come first to me, but I like to treat others how I want to be treated. If something made me uncomfortable would I want someone to rub it in my face and flood me till I got over it? No. So I will try and do my best not to subject other people to that kind of mentality either.

Perhaps it can be done where very little attention is brought to it.

I never had anyone object to my breastfeeding 28 years ago over the course of 3 babies that I took and fed in public.

My daughter is now breastfeeding baby number 2, and she takes her everwhere and feeds her when she needs to be fed.

I never knew there was an issue with it. I am sure my daughter would have mentioned it if anyone reacted in a negative way to her feeding her daughters because it would embarrass her, and she's never mentioned anyone having a problem.

My mother showed me many years ago how to go about it without it being very obvious. I doubt very many people ever knew I was feeding a baby because I would pick a spot I could sit down (I would never choose to feed standing up, home or away, for comfort's sake) , and there was no real reason for anybody to look at me close enough to notice what I was doing.

I guess we have been very fortunate.

 

[NicoleLJ]

As a breastfeeding mother, all I've learned from this thread is that I should keep 100% to myself or run the risk of being attacked by all parties regardless of what I do.

This. Nico is due soon and he has a cleft lip. Most of the proffesionals I have talked to said that he won't be able to breast feed. That he will have to be bottle fed. But thanks to nancy2394(who also sent us an adorable bootie and hat set) she sent us a ton of great info. One being a pamphlet about breast feeding a baby with a cleft and how important it can be for building up and strengthening the muscles of the jaw and upper making this easier and such before and after surgery. The thing is breast feeding a baby with a cleft is difficult to get to latch and to stay latched, plus they have to be burped more often and such. I want to do what is best for Nico, and breast feeding is obviously best and not just for the milk he will get. But reading this, my experience when I was breast feeding my first(even though I was covered) and my own issues with confontations and peoples anger and such is now making me really nervous about even attempting it in public.

I understand that there can be some that are obnoxious when they do it but they are no where near the norm. But it is not just the obnoxious mothers who get harassed. I was fully covered when I was told to leave a restraunt. I know with Nico getting him latched will take longer, helping him stay latched will be a constant effort and then having to interupt him to burp him will also be an issue because I know all of that means that there is a chance someone will see something they don't want to see and it will have nothing to do with me trying to be obnoxious or rude or trying to show off. But I also can't just hide away either. Because of his cleft we have to travel to specialists, stay at friends homes, be out in public. Plus I don't want to hide him away.

I don't see a solution to please everyone.