Interesting idea. I think there needs to be a balance, like people are talking about.
I do see the point about not putting a judgment of good vs. bad on any specific behavior when they are super little though. We're pretty careful not to tell Aurelia she's good or bad. Or that characters in a movie are bad or good. My therapist (who works primarily with children) was saying that if you put those ideas of good and bad into a child's head pretty early on, they start to form judgments about themselves.
Instead, we use the term "inappropriate". As in:
"It's inappropriate to climb on strangers."
"Using an outside voice in the house is inappropriate"
Or we ask her how she feels. She's gotten really good at articulating her emotions.
Like if she gives a toy to another kid, I ask her "How did you feel when you gave your toy away?" "How do you think >insert friend< felt when you gave them that toy?"
That way she thinks about it, and the behavior becomes rewarding to
her because she recognizes it's the behavior making
her feel good, not the behavior pleasing someone other than her.
Now every single time we take her to visit a friend, she runs into her room and picks a book or toy to give away.
Or if she's watching a movie and there is a villain doing mean things. We ask her how the other characters feel about it. She's pretty in tune with it. The other day she was watching the Princess and the Frog, and she was like, "That shadow man does inappropriate things! He makes people sad!":rofl1:
We do praise her for things though. Going potty on the toilet, behaviors that she struggles with, we'll recognize when she does remember and it makes her happy. Or if she has an accident, we'll ask how it feels to have wet pants. She says "uncomfortable".
