We make sure our kids are equal as far as what they get, both in cost and gifts. They're both young so it'd be hard to explain 'we spent everything on a computer for you, and the same amount for ten things for your sister'. They're both happy with their stuff, both the home made, the second hand and the brand new.
For the niece and nephew, we did their whole family one gift, a gingerbread house loaded with candy. They got our kids some very nice, expensive gifts, but that's fine, nobody was upset or insulted, and frankly if they gave our family nothing, I wouldn't really care, the kids wouldn't notice. What they budget is their thing, same as us - we don't call and say 'ok,so $100 per kid?' before hand. I do think though they waste money on a 15 foot real tree every year - not a cheap one either, I think their tree is our total Christmas budget, but again, who cares really, if they're happy.
The ONLY gifts I've ever not liked where from my parents/mother.
One was a small dog statue that I loved, and owned. It went missing from my room and I was very upset, looked EVERYWHERE for it, was heartbroken, asked everyone in the house if they'd seen it, and was even more upset when I found out it wasn't something I could replace (limited edition). Then to get it months later from the same jerks that insisted they didn't know where it was and watched me cry.... yeah. Got grounded for not being happy to get it of course.
Also got the smurfs Christmas album when I was about 14. Now understand the year before I got the Thriller album. And I never, ever, ever LIKED the smurfs. Granted the movie that just came out isn't as bad, but the cartoon creeped me out. I think I faked liking it that year, but the year before got in trouble for not being thrilled about high tops and a butt ugly sweater that happened to be exactly like the teacher in jr I had wore all the time and she was not a 'liked' teacher.
Needless to say I now work really, really hard at enjoying the holidays and remembering what is important, the kids and my own family (I am 'divorced' from my bio family thankfully, a gift that I enjoy - no contact from them this season!).
But in general a gift is a gift and it's the thought.