Fertility treatments, what are your opinions?
- Thread starter Dogdragoness
- Start date
As for the other arguments
- "But there are so many kids that need homes." Why don't people tell this to those who conceive naturally? World is over-populated and there are needy kids regardless. The adoption process (both international and local) is also a very long, broken system.
To tell people that want a child to "settle" on adopting a child or try to guilt and shame someone into adoption is WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.
The decision to adopt a child (just like having one naturally) is deeply personal..and should be reserved for those who truly want to adopt and find their way to the decision to adopt on their own.
Not pushed there by other people who think there is some kind of 3 strikes you're out policy on attempted pregnancies.
- "But the money..it could save little kids dying in africa!" take a moment and look at all the things we spend money on. The pet industry is an almost 50 BILLION dollar a year industry.
Should we ask all people to stop spending money on pets?
how about cars?
fancy vacations?
Why is it ok to poke and shame those using THEIR MONEY to try and conceive a child and not at people who spend money on truly frivolous luxuries.
- Genetic selection. As is.. the process is highly debated and many doctors won't do it for any reason beyond health or gender in some cases (although some doctors won't even do gender)
While I am not for genetically engineered children (and one of those "why???") things, I am not going to control what people want to do with their sperm.
You think people who adopt kids don't have physical attributes they want/DEMAND in a child?
HA. HA. HA. HA.
How about people who choose partners based on what their kids will look like.. lol you know you've heard it before.
- Woman MIGHT not be able to give birth naturally. ..Any GOOD doctor will not perform fertility treatments on a mother whose health or the future childs health is in danger by conceiving and carrying a child.
that said, I don't like the idea of policing women who can't deliver the way someone else would like them to.
Already having a c-section or other delivery complications increases risks A LOT of dangers in delivery for future children..should we stop mothers who have had problems in the past from getting pregnant?
- The bible/church/holy book/shaman/magic 8 ball/fortune cookie
Things that have no business making decisions on behalf of my body. Thank you very much.
- "But there are so many kids that need homes." Why don't people tell this to those who conceive naturally? World is over-populated and there are needy kids regardless. The adoption process (both international and local) is also a very long, broken system.
To tell people that want a child to "settle" on adopting a child or try to guilt and shame someone into adoption is WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.
The decision to adopt a child (just like having one naturally) is deeply personal..and should be reserved for those who truly want to adopt and find their way to the decision to adopt on their own.
Not pushed there by other people who think there is some kind of 3 strikes you're out policy on attempted pregnancies.
- "But the money..it could save little kids dying in africa!" take a moment and look at all the things we spend money on. The pet industry is an almost 50 BILLION dollar a year industry.
Should we ask all people to stop spending money on pets?
how about cars?
fancy vacations?
Why is it ok to poke and shame those using THEIR MONEY to try and conceive a child and not at people who spend money on truly frivolous luxuries.
- Genetic selection. As is.. the process is highly debated and many doctors won't do it for any reason beyond health or gender in some cases (although some doctors won't even do gender)
While I am not for genetically engineered children (and one of those "why???") things, I am not going to control what people want to do with their sperm.
You think people who adopt kids don't have physical attributes they want/DEMAND in a child?
HA. HA. HA. HA.
How about people who choose partners based on what their kids will look like.. lol you know you've heard it before.
- Woman MIGHT not be able to give birth naturally. ..Any GOOD doctor will not perform fertility treatments on a mother whose health or the future childs health is in danger by conceiving and carrying a child.
that said, I don't like the idea of policing women who can't deliver the way someone else would like them to.
Already having a c-section or other delivery complications increases risks A LOT of dangers in delivery for future children..should we stop mothers who have had problems in the past from getting pregnant?
- The bible/church/holy book/shaman/magic 8 ball/fortune cookie
Things that have no business making decisions on behalf of my body. Thank you very much.
I believe she is.
Frankly, the most common arguments I hear against fertility treatments are not religious ones.
The most common ones I hear are the homeless kids needing homes, the money could be spent ______, and "maybe your body is telling you that you shouldn't be pregnant"
wrong wrong wrongity wrong.
Although my personal favorites is people preaching on "think of what that money could do for --insert charity here---"
while strolling through town with their kids in bugaboo strollers. Think about how much THAT could've done for charity.
how about your luxury car? vacation home? kids private school?
I am all for people spending money on whatever they would like but let's not point fingers if our hands aren't clean.
Especially when you are comparing treatment to try and conceive to your vacation house.
Frankly, the most common arguments I hear against fertility treatments are not religious ones.
The most common ones I hear are the homeless kids needing homes, the money could be spent ______, and "maybe your body is telling you that you shouldn't be pregnant"
wrong wrong wrongity wrong.
Although my personal favorites is people preaching on "think of what that money could do for --insert charity here---"
while strolling through town with their kids in bugaboo strollers. Think about how much THAT could've done for charity.
how about your luxury car? vacation home? kids private school?
I am all for people spending money on whatever they would like but let's not point fingers if our hands aren't clean.
Especially when you are comparing treatment to try and conceive to your vacation house.
The OP is against it because she doesn't 'get' wanting to get pregnant, so going through fertility treatments to achieve it? OMG THE HORROR. So she just has a totally biased opinion and obviously her opinion was important enough to make a thread about it (probably knowing that nobody would agree).
How old is she anyway... 12?
How old is she anyway... 12?
Yeah and the whole "why don't you just adopt" thing...
any idea how HARD it is to adopt? I know a few people here know just how hard it is but really it costs about as much and you basically have to have an anal probe to make sure you'll be a fit parent. A lot more children would get adopted if they didn't make it almost impossible to acheive
any idea how HARD it is to adopt? I know a few people here know just how hard it is but really it costs about as much and you basically have to have an anal probe to make sure you'll be a fit parent. A lot more children would get adopted if they didn't make it almost impossible to acheive
Well, I see both sides to the 'why don't you adopt' thing (as opposed to 'why don't you just adopt'. There is no 'just' in adoption). I've been there, and to me adopting was a better option than wasting money in more fertility treatments. Sometimes people don't realize that it's actually possible to adopt in the US, so suggesting adoption can be an eye opener.
But yes it's not easy by any means either, and some people just don't want to adopt, and it's probably very irritating for them when people keep asking them why they don't adopt instead (especially as 99% of people have no idea what it's like to go through the adoption process).
So.. I see both sides. I usually tell people I've been there and we ended up adopting and leave it at that. I realize that even though we waited a long time, we were still pretty lucky because the process went relatively smoothly.
But yes it's not easy by any means either, and some people just don't want to adopt, and it's probably very irritating for them when people keep asking them why they don't adopt instead (especially as 99% of people have no idea what it's like to go through the adoption process).
So.. I see both sides. I usually tell people I've been there and we ended up adopting and leave it at that. I realize that even though we waited a long time, we were still pretty lucky because the process went relatively smoothly.
Admittedly, I don't really "get" wanting to get pregnant either. That is pretty much at the bottom of my list of "things I would ever want to do." Right above all the gross stunts from stuff like FEAR FACTOR and whatever. I would rather get pregnant than climb into a coffin with roaches, at least.
But I am certainly not against fertility treatments.
But I am certainly not against fertility treatments.
My son is going to be 3 on the tenth of January. He is the single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Call me selfish, call me ignornant to the worlds problems and overpopulation. Call me whatever you would like and I don't care because I have my beautiful, wonderful son and without fertility treatments he would not be here. It is of NO concern to others how my son was conceived, not one single person beside my husband!
I am always surprised by the amount of people who want to talk poorly about those who choose treatments but don't blink twice when a woman who is on her 4th baby all with different fathers and drawing welfare.
I was unable to become pregnant because of a health problem. I took treatments and was able to welcome the most amazing person I have ever met into this world. A little couth goes along way and before judging people maybe understanding WHY people are infertile would be helpful.
I am always surprised by the amount of people who want to talk poorly about those who choose treatments but don't blink twice when a woman who is on her 4th baby all with different fathers and drawing welfare.
I was unable to become pregnant because of a health problem. I took treatments and was able to welcome the most amazing person I have ever met into this world. A little couth goes along way and before judging people maybe understanding WHY people are infertile would be helpful.
To me it isn't an issue of wanting/not wanting to get pregnant. I will likely never be pregnant in my life lol
It's an issue of showing complete aversion to pregnancy (like ew why would they do that to their bodies OH MY GAH!") and yet continuing to bring it up only to stir things up with your generalizations and harsh opinions.
To say something like "I wish it was never invented" on a forum with many parents (some who probably have had trouble conceiving, tried treatments, considered treatments, had babies through fertility treatments etc..) shows a total and complete lack of tact and kindness.
You do realize by wishing it was never invented it's basically wishing people didn't have their children.
Take a moment and let that really marinate.
I don't care if she wants kids or not.. that is just..awful.
It's an issue of showing complete aversion to pregnancy (like ew why would they do that to their bodies OH MY GAH!") and yet continuing to bring it up only to stir things up with your generalizations and harsh opinions.
To say something like "I wish it was never invented" on a forum with many parents (some who probably have had trouble conceiving, tried treatments, considered treatments, had babies through fertility treatments etc..) shows a total and complete lack of tact and kindness.
You do realize by wishing it was never invented it's basically wishing people didn't have their children.
Take a moment and let that really marinate.
I don't care if she wants kids or not.. that is just..awful.
I don't have an issue with people who cannot conceive getting fertility treatments.
That being said, I don't know if it is something I would *personally* opt for should we be unable to conceive. I don't know if I would be willing to go through the emotional and physical difficulties, the massive debt, and always at the back of my mind I would wonder if perhaps I am having these troubles because my life is supposed to be taking a path that doesn't include pregnancy. That could change were we ever to run into that situation, you never know.
Again, that doesn't mean that I have anything ethically against fertility treatments in general though.
That being said, I don't know if it is something I would *personally* opt for should we be unable to conceive. I don't know if I would be willing to go through the emotional and physical difficulties, the massive debt, and always at the back of my mind I would wonder if perhaps I am having these troubles because my life is supposed to be taking a path that doesn't include pregnancy. That could change were we ever to run into that situation, you never know.
Again, that doesn't mean that I have anything ethically against fertility treatments in general though.
Consider me one of the "Your body, your money, your choice" people.
However, I find it interesting from a scientific standpoint. There are of course a myriad of reasons people can't get pregnant, and it is very common for those who can't get pregnant 'naturally' to be able to safely carry a child to term.
What I wonder is if, in the long run, we aren't making it more difficult (I can't even find the right way to say this, so forgive me) for humanity to continue to breed naturally. I have a friend who breeds very nice dogs, and recently spayed a female who she said is the epitome of what their program is trying to produce, because the dog was proving difficult to get pregnant. It wasn't a trait they wanted to potentially have carry on to other generations.
Now obviously, this isn't a question that will ever be more than something to ponder. Human generations being as long as they are, it would take an enormous amount of time for it to actually have a noticeable effect, and fertility treatments certainly aren't common in many cultures. But it is one of the more valid concerns I've heard brought up about the increasing use of fertility treatments.
However, I find it interesting from a scientific standpoint. There are of course a myriad of reasons people can't get pregnant, and it is very common for those who can't get pregnant 'naturally' to be able to safely carry a child to term.
What I wonder is if, in the long run, we aren't making it more difficult (I can't even find the right way to say this, so forgive me) for humanity to continue to breed naturally. I have a friend who breeds very nice dogs, and recently spayed a female who she said is the epitome of what their program is trying to produce, because the dog was proving difficult to get pregnant. It wasn't a trait they wanted to potentially have carry on to other generations.
Now obviously, this isn't a question that will ever be more than something to ponder. Human generations being as long as they are, it would take an enormous amount of time for it to actually have a noticeable effect, and fertility treatments certainly aren't common in many cultures. But it is one of the more valid concerns I've heard brought up about the increasing use of fertility treatments.
This is something I would struggle with if I were considering fertility treatments.
A dear friend of mine spent a small fortune getting preggers only to have it fail - twice. They saved for another 2 years and tried one last time. This time success, and twins! Then at 24 weeks she went in to labor and they couldn't stop it. I don't know what folks know about 24 week old babies, but lets just say that it has been a rough road. They are awesome parents, they have awesome kiddos, but I know, because she is my friend, that she has dealt with a lot of guilt. If nothing else, us moms are awesome at the guilt thing!
From a personal perspective, my kiddos were conceived naturally. I too ended up with twins, and one had a rare condition (absent end diastolic flow of the umbilical) and on top of that, one of the placentas grew on top of the other and I ended up with a partial placental abruption. Long story short, my guys were preemies too.
I asked for a tubal ligation when we were discussing the c-section, and my doctor (I think wisely) told me I was probably not in the right frame of mind to make that decision. That I was healthy and every single complication I had had was due to having twins and not due to anything with my body and its ability to support a pregnancy.
As the twins grew, people would ask me if we were going to have more, and honestly, while I would LOVE to have more kids, I just can't imagine putting an older sibling through what DH and I went through with the twins. I know the odds are minute of me having another difficult pregnancy, but it just felt... selfish? to have 2 perfect kiddos and go for more knowing what I know about the risks. Maybe I'm just a weenie, but the risk wasn't worth it to me. NOT that I begrudge anyone else's choices. As has already been said - my body, my choice.
A dear friend of mine spent a small fortune getting preggers only to have it fail - twice. They saved for another 2 years and tried one last time. This time success, and twins! Then at 24 weeks she went in to labor and they couldn't stop it. I don't know what folks know about 24 week old babies, but lets just say that it has been a rough road. They are awesome parents, they have awesome kiddos, but I know, because she is my friend, that she has dealt with a lot of guilt. If nothing else, us moms are awesome at the guilt thing!
From a personal perspective, my kiddos were conceived naturally. I too ended up with twins, and one had a rare condition (absent end diastolic flow of the umbilical) and on top of that, one of the placentas grew on top of the other and I ended up with a partial placental abruption. Long story short, my guys were preemies too.
I asked for a tubal ligation when we were discussing the c-section, and my doctor (I think wisely) told me I was probably not in the right frame of mind to make that decision. That I was healthy and every single complication I had had was due to having twins and not due to anything with my body and its ability to support a pregnancy.
As the twins grew, people would ask me if we were going to have more, and honestly, while I would LOVE to have more kids, I just can't imagine putting an older sibling through what DH and I went through with the twins. I know the odds are minute of me having another difficult pregnancy, but it just felt... selfish? to have 2 perfect kiddos and go for more knowing what I know about the risks. Maybe I'm just a weenie, but the risk wasn't worth it to me. NOT that I begrudge anyone else's choices. As has already been said - my body, my choice.