You reminded me of this, Fran -- and it's totally true, lol. It's one of the things I DO like about the South 
YouTube - Crazy People in the South
YouTube - Crazy People in the South
Would this **** you off?
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BOTH! gotta love it! and so true
Actually, the Rain Man comment was from a book called Spud. Look it up
Well, he didn't end up coming because when he was called and told he was going to be picked up he told them that he AND HIS MOTHER were ready and waiting. He invited his mother too. When he was told there was no space for his mother he didn't come.
Also, he IS NOT family. He is a friend of the family as I stated in another post.
Well, he didn't end up coming because when he was called and told he was going to be picked up he told them that he AND HIS MOTHER were ready and waiting. He invited his mother too. When he was told there was no space for his mother he didn't come.
Also, he IS NOT family. He is a friend of the family as I stated in another post.
Men don't pick up on that kind of manipulation -- and they won't believe us when we point it out. We're put in the position of being the paranoid bitch and there is really no way out of it but to be sweet, pleasantly tell them what we feel is going on and let it play out. That way, when it's over and done with and the truth has come out and WE WERE RIGHT they can accept it and remember it the next time. If we p1ss them off being the angry bitch, all they're going to remember is the bitchiness and they'll justify their actions -- and the other party's -- with that.
The only way you can win in these situations is by killing them with kindness. Even then it's no guarantee, but at least you've got a better than 50% shot.
The only way you can win in these situations is by killing them with kindness. Even then it's no guarantee, but at least you've got a better than 50% shot.
Only because you are taking it that way its not based off what you are thinking of apparently The book she is talking about is apparently like The Catcher in the Rye
And I am the one who told Jeremy the next time his family comes to this house I am packing up and going to a hotel until they are gone with the kids.
They cause problems in our family reporting back to someone so I would have done the same thing. Even if its someone you wouldnt normally have a problem with if they are reporting to someone that is trying to mess up your relationship **** right I would and have told my SO they are not welcome. Its MY house to feel secure in and I will not invite someone in who doesnt make me feel secure.
The book she is talking about is apparently like The Catcher in the Rye And I am the one who told Jeremy the next time his family comes to this house I am packing up and going to a hotel until they are gone with the kids.
They cause problems in our family reporting back to someone so I would have done the same thing. Even if its someone you wouldnt normally have a problem with if they are reporting to someone that is trying to mess up your relationship **** right I would and have told my SO they are not welcome. Its MY house to feel secure in and I will not invite someone in who doesnt make me feel secure.
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Yeah, it really varies by individual family nutjob.
Someone who actually attempts to do damage to your life? I can totally see not wanting to be around them, EVER.
Someone who is just a bit "off", maybe have an undiagnosed mental or medical disorder, and is just "weird"? I don't think that's a crime worthy of being excluded from family functions. As far as "reporting back"....what is he reporting? How good your souffle was? Does it matter if he tells the rest of the wackos what you're up to?
Someone who actually attempts to do damage to your life? I can totally see not wanting to be around them, EVER.
Someone who is just a bit "off", maybe have an undiagnosed mental or medical disorder, and is just "weird"? I don't think that's a crime worthy of being excluded from family functions. As far as "reporting back"....what is he reporting? How good your souffle was? Does it matter if he tells the rest of the wackos what you're up to?
Pretty much this. There are people I have a hard time getting along with, that I'm stuck with forever. When they come over I just smile sweetly and load them up on cookies, and dote on them, etc. When they make comments, even if I don't agree with them, I just give them a vapid smile and say something neutral that acknowledges they said something.
After the first few times of it not blowing up into a giant dramatic argument like usual, they've stopped coming by completely. Also, in those situations they can't talk bad about you with making themselves look like total butt-holes.
After the first few times of it not blowing up into a giant dramatic argument like usual, they've stopped coming by completely. Also, in those situations they can't talk bad about you with making themselves look like total butt-holes.
Well, we had it out on a large scale, we are talking literally screaming at each other. Now we feel a whole bunch better!
It was a huge tension build up about money worries, tension over various other issues now. He apologized profusely to me about it after he found out that his sister had tried to set it up. He has basically removed himself from certain members of his family for two years now because he (completely unprompted by me) made a decision that WE were more important then her.
I am very proud at how far he has come.
Oh and the airshow SUCKED but the wedding was an absolute blast!
It was a huge tension build up about money worries, tension over various other issues now. He apologized profusely to me about it after he found out that his sister had tried to set it up. He has basically removed himself from certain members of his family for two years now because he (completely unprompted by me) made a decision that WE were more important then her.
I am very proud at how far he has come.
Oh and the airshow SUCKED but the wedding was an absolute blast!
:rofl1: I share your sentiments. LOL.
Seriously, after years of toxic people coming and going in my life, I finally came on a formula essentially, that I am not obliged to interact with people that I don't like, whether they're actually injurious to me in some way or merely, chronic anxiety-producers. Life is too short to waste any part of it on toxic people. I don't care if they are "off" or need professional help...it's not my problem. If I can do something to help them, fine. But usually the help toxic people need is beyond most peoples' capacity. I economize and weed out of my garden, certain people, and that way, I have more time and energy to spend on relationships that can actually go somewhere or where I can make a positive difference in someone's life.
I get the part about making compromises in relationships. But ya gotta draw the line in some areas. This ultimatum that Paul forced on you...to either cancel your plans or invite some toxic jerk you can't stand to the party you had planned and done all the work for, would be unacceptable to me and a line I'd be using a indelible marker on.
Seriously, after years of toxic people coming and going in my life, I finally came on a formula essentially, that I am not obliged to interact with people that I don't like, whether they're actually injurious to me in some way or merely, chronic anxiety-producers. Life is too short to waste any part of it on toxic people. I don't care if they are "off" or need professional help...it's not my problem. If I can do something to help them, fine. But usually the help toxic people need is beyond most peoples' capacity. I economize and weed out of my garden, certain people, and that way, I have more time and energy to spend on relationships that can actually go somewhere or where I can make a positive difference in someone's life.
I get the part about making compromises in relationships. But ya gotta draw the line in some areas. This ultimatum that Paul forced on you...to either cancel your plans or invite some toxic jerk you can't stand to the party you had planned and done all the work for, would be unacceptable to me and a line I'd be using a indelible marker on.
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Well, we had it out on a large scale, we are talking literally screaming at each other. Now we feel a whole bunch better!
It was a huge tension build up about money worries, tension over various other issues now. He apologized profusely to me about it after he found out that his sister had tried to set it up. He has basically removed himself from certain members of his family for two years now because he (completely unprompted by me) made a decision that WE were more important then her.
I am very proud at how far he has come.
Oh and the airshow SUCKED but the wedding was an absolute blast!
It was a huge tension build up about money worries, tension over various other issues now. He apologized profusely to me about it after he found out that his sister had tried to set it up. He has basically removed himself from certain members of his family for two years now because he (completely unprompted by me) made a decision that WE were more important then her.
I am very proud at how far he has come.
Oh and the airshow SUCKED but the wedding was an absolute blast!
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Did he say Ian comes or dinner is cancelled?
Or did he say Ian comes or neither does Paul?
I'd be mad...but not *that* mad, if he was going to hang out with Ian instead of going to the dinner party after you said Ian couldn't come (after all, if I were him, I'd be mad you said Ian couldn't come).
However, if he tried to stop you from having the dinner party because Ian couldn't come, I would tell him to go to hell and get out of my way. That's controlling, and NOT a good sign.
Or did he say Ian comes or neither does Paul?
I'd be mad...but not *that* mad, if he was going to hang out with Ian instead of going to the dinner party after you said Ian couldn't come (after all, if I were him, I'd be mad you said Ian couldn't come).
However, if he tried to stop you from having the dinner party because Ian couldn't come, I would tell him to go to hell and get out of my way. That's controlling, and NOT a good sign.
The way I'm reading it is, not only is the dinner canceled if Ian can't come, but Paul isn't going to be there anyhow...if Ian can't come. And all those other people who were already invited have to be told they can't come after all. How embarrasing and rude is that to un-invite people? ...again, she's forced into a corner. And all the food that may or may not have already been started on goes to waste or was done for nothing. I'd perceive that as controlling. Why is Paul so enamored with Ian anyhow? If he creeps you out, I'd say you have a legitimate enough reason to reject him as someone you need to hang out with.
What authority does paul have to cancel the dinner anyway? I'd just call the sister and other guests and tell them dinner is still on but Paul won't be able to attend. If he insisted on not coming and giving me that ultimatum I would have been ticked but I would have told the others that dinner was still a go
Well, if he had not come, neither would his older sister and her family. So yeah, I was being backed into a corner. That is what I was so furious about. My feelings on this situation is that he KNOWS how I feel about Mr I Need My Mommy To Come Everywhere With Me and still tried to get me to bring him.
But as I said, we had it out and the situation was intensified because we were circling each other for a few days. Things are way better now though. We have agreed that each of us has a right to insist that certain people are not welcome in our home.
He does now see how off sides he was and I do understand that it was more of a lets try and make her angry then his real sentiments.
I am totally with Doberluv. His younger sister is not even allowed to speak to me, never mind be anywhere near me. She did all she could to break us up several times, including lying about me and spreading rumours to other family members. She even went so far as to enlist help from his friends. She succeeded a few times until Paul finally saw her for what she is. She is the only person in the world that I HATE! When Paul came back the last time and said he wanted to get back together I told him to think about it because that meant him not having a life with me AND his sister.
He chose me. He made the decision and has to live with it. She caused the situation and needs to live with it. For some insane reason, she blames me for her never seeing Paul anymore.
When he got back from India a couple of weeks ago, she calls him (she screams on the phone) and I heard he say, "are you coming you see your family or are you spending the night with that thing". He just put the phone down and switched it off, so yeah, he has come a long way.
But as I said, we had it out and the situation was intensified because we were circling each other for a few days. Things are way better now though. We have agreed that each of us has a right to insist that certain people are not welcome in our home.
He does now see how off sides he was and I do understand that it was more of a lets try and make her angry then his real sentiments.
I am totally with Doberluv. His younger sister is not even allowed to speak to me, never mind be anywhere near me. She did all she could to break us up several times, including lying about me and spreading rumours to other family members. She even went so far as to enlist help from his friends. She succeeded a few times until Paul finally saw her for what she is. She is the only person in the world that I HATE! When Paul came back the last time and said he wanted to get back together I told him to think about it because that meant him not having a life with me AND his sister.
He chose me. He made the decision and has to live with it. She caused the situation and needs to live with it. For some insane reason, she blames me for her never seeing Paul anymore.
When he got back from India a couple of weeks ago, she calls him (she screams on the phone) and I heard he say, "are you coming you see your family or are you spending the night with that thing". He just put the phone down and switched it off, so yeah, he has come a long way.