When should my husband jump in?

[mantine]

Here is the situation, I am the one who mainly takes care of Grizzley, feed, train, clean and play so I don't know if this is true in doggie mentality but I feel that Grizz looks at me as more of a playmate and thats why I have a problem with discipline. When he wants to play he comes to me, not Todd. Todd will play sometimes but not often. So we are working on getting Grizzley to not jump on me. He mainly does when I am sitting on the couch. He will start mouthing my hand and as I tell him no he gets worse and worse by his pays coming up and biting harder (he is not allowed up on the furniture). Now Todd will be sitting right next to me and just watch. Eventually he will jump in, tell Grizzely no and to go lay down and all it takes is one time for my husband to say no for me I can say it hundreds of times and it doesn't work. I know why he waits to jump in, he wants the no from me to work. So....how long should he wait?

Also what is the best way to get thru to Todd that positive punishment is best? He gets very firm vocally with with grizz but will also slap him on the butt (which I dont like) if he does something bad. Like yesterday Todd left his sandwich on the coffee table to get something out of the Kitchen and when he came back...sandwhich was in Grizzlies mouth :lol-sign: . Now I say "duh, you shouldn't have left your sandwich where the dog could get it" but he says "Grizz knew he was doing something that he shouldn't so he got a slap on the butt."

I feel this is doing damage because you can see the submissiveness in Grizzley around Todd. It almost seems like he waits for approval from Todd before he goes over to him. And if Todd gets home before me to let Grizz out he pees on the floor. I don't know if this is excited pee cuz he had to hold it all day or submissive pee cuz Todd hits him every once in a while. Another time Todd left grizz in a room that was not puppy proofed cuz we had a contractor over and when he came back he grizz had gotten into a bunch of papers (he was bored) and tore them all up, big mess. I wasn't home when it happened and I don't know what Todd did but it looks like he peed a little in the room and that evening Grizz would just sit or lay down on the floor and look at Todd, like he was waiting for Todd to come over and make up with him.

I don't want him to be afraid of hands. I was playing Tug of war with him last night and I had the toy in one hand tugging and with the other I was just trying to play around and touch his back, just to get more into the game and the first couple times Grizz was still tugging but running so I couldn't get him and even though he doesn;t really have a tail it seemed like it was between his legs, then the 3rd time I tried it he actully let go of the toy and grabbed my arm with his mouth (bit me). I just have a couple scratches but I have to wonder if that is from Todd hitting him on the butt and he thought thats what I was going to do by going after his back with my hand.

Sorry for the long post....any advice?

 

[Maxy24]

When he is jumping on you he wants your attention so what should you do? Not give it to him. Pull your arms behind your back and completely stare off into space. As soon as he stops give him the attention, then stop the attention when he bites. Also tell your husband to stop hitting the dog or he can sleep on the floor. Someday the dog's gonna bite him because he's scared. have him read some dog books like The Culture Clash.

 

[malndobe]

I would strongly suggest you and Grizz enroll in a basic obedience class. It's pretty clear that Grizz does not recognize you as a pack leader, although he does recognize Tom as one. Dogs don't understand "wait until your dad gets home", and right now, it sounds like this is the only time you really have control over Grizz. When Tom is there to be the disciplinarian. Not to mention you are putting Tom in the position of having to do the discipline, while you are the "fun one".

Your dog is already biting you, even if it's in "play", and he's not stopping when you tell him to. You need help from someone who can see the entire situation, and work with you to get him under control, or this could escalate.

 

[Charliesmommy]

I would strongly suggest that you enroll your husband in basic common sense class. No offense, but can he not see that the way he is treating the dog is doing more damage than good??? If my husband was hitting my dog, I'd re-home him (The husband, not the dog).

 

[mantine]

I would strongly suggest you and Grizz enroll in a basic obedience class. It's pretty clear that Grizz does not recognize you as a pack leader, although he does recognize Tom as one. Dogs don't understand "wait until your dad gets home", and right now, it sounds like this is the only time you really have control over Grizz. When Tom is there to be the disciplinarian. Not to mention you are putting Tom in the position of having to do the discipline, while you are the "fun one".

Your dog is already biting you, even if it's in "play", and he's not stopping when you tell him to. You need help from someone who can see the entire situation, and work with you to get him under control, or this could escalate.

We have already gone thru basic obeidience, he passed with flying colors, beat all the other dogs in the class when we had a little command competition and I just started with a trainer coming to my home every week (he has only come twice). I am not putting Todd in the position of disciplinarian, he chooses not to spend that time with Grizz and I said I would do everything and take care of anything the dog needed. He really didn't want a dog but knew I have been wanting one for over 6 years now and we finally have the space and property to have a dog so he gave in.

Grizz will listen to me, we just have problems at certain times, I am working and making progress with him, I know its me with the problem, I don't put enough meaning behind my voice when I say no. (the trainer is hepling me with this) Since working with the trainer started 2 weeks ago Grizz is listening to me more when I say no, its when he's all hyped up (kind of like an energy level just below the puppy zoomies).

I am not expecting Grizz to "wait until his dad gets home" and the dog acts totally different when it is just me and him versus when my husband is home, I have put a lot of energy and effort into his training for the past 3 months.

I feel a little offended, you are making assumptions. Yes I am the fun one, but if I didn't play with him in the house or take him outside to train or take him on hikes he would be in the house all day with even more energy. He is a high energy dog. I understood that when I brought him home and I love that he keeps me busy all the time.

Charliesmommy: I would strongly suggest that you enroll your husband in basic common sense class. No offense, but can he not see that the way he is treating the dog is doing more damage than good??? If my husband was hitting my dog, I'd re-home him (The husband, not the dog).

That is why I am looking for ways to get thru to him about what he is doing.

 

[mantine]

Oh, Maxy24...forgot to reply to you. I know the ignoring technique :lol-sign: why it is sometimes our minds go blank??? I think when I am in that moment with him I am so fixated on getting him to stop I forget about ignoring him, I do it at other times so i know it works ***slaps forehead...duh!****:lol-sign:

 

[Zoom]

Aussies are very one-person type of dogs and you're his person. He listens to your husband because it seems like most of the contact that goes on between the two is negative and most dogs try their damndest to appease an "attacker", hence the peeing. He has no idea what he's getting smacked for, which will make for a very defensive and hand-shy dog. Since it sounds like Hubby has no interest in the dog beyond getting after him, just tell him to ignore the dog completely.

Grizzly is what, about 6 months old now? He's entering the adolescent stage, and just like teenagers, thinks it's funny to not listen and disobey. Just work through it. Stay consistant with what you learned in class, on here and with your new trainer.

 

[mantine]

Thanks Zoom, yes he is getting close to the 6 month mark, I needed that reminder that he is getting into his "teenage years". Do you find that your Aussie acts differently when he is with just you versus with you and someone else, even if that person is there everyday? Is that an aussie trait or something a lot of dogs do?

 

[malndobe]

Sorry you were offended, but you didn't indicate anywhere in your post that you were working with a trainer with Grizz. My response was based on the information you gave.

So you weren't looking for suggestions on how to control Grizz when he's biting you, only for suggestions to get your husband to stop hitting him??

Since you aren't happy with what your husband does when he steps in, just ask him to stay out of it and let you deal with the pup on your own. You will need to make "no" mean "no", your trainer can help you with that. But if you can stop the play behavior from escalating on your own, then your husband shouldn't feel the need to step in.


You mention your husband didn't want a dog to begin with. Because of this my goal would be to make Grizz as non-intrusive as possible. I'm sure some people will say your husband needs to get over it, learn to love the pup, whatever. But based on your post he didn't want the dog, and only agreed to the dog because you really wanted one and agreed to do all the work of caring for it. He's not going to feel as vested in the dog as you, and if a quick fix works (hitting) you are going to have a hard time convincing him not to do it. Your choices as I see it are to train the pup as fast as possible so it is as easy to live with as possible, or keep the pup confined when you are not around so it's not making messes, stealing food, or doing any of the many other things puppies will do which are bound to irritate your husband. Start working on a food refusal with Grizz, so he knows food that isn't in his bowl, or being specifically offered to him, isn't his. Same goes for items that are being chewed up, etc. I realize he's a pup and this all takes time, but the sooner he learns these things, the less likely your husband is to feel the need to smack him.

 

[malndobe]

Oh, the submission peeing thing. I had a Dobe years ago who did this, although in his case it was excitement not submission. Any time I came home he'd have a full bladder, get excited and "leak". I simply avoided the problem, since ignoring the leaking is the best response. When I came home, before I went inside I'd open the door wide, and call him to me outside. He could get excited, piddle, then run and pee before we went into the house. At that house I just greeted him in the front yard, but if your front yard isn't secure you could always go in through a side door, back door, whatever.

If Grizz is submission peeing, it probably makes your husband angry, which is just going to make the problem even worse. It's a vicious cycle. If he does it outside, where there is no mess to clean up, it will be easier for your husband to ignore it until he outgrows it.

 

[Cessena]

food refusal?

Start working on a food refusal with Grizz, so he knows food that isn't in his bowl, or being specifically offered to him, isn't his. Same goes for items that are being chewed up, etc. I realize he's a pup and this all takes time, but the sooner he learns these things, the less likely your husband is to feel the need to smack him.

Food refusal? Is there a good technique for this?

My dog Vlad just grabbed a cheesburger off the coffee table. My boyfriend got pretty mad when I pointed out that he should be watching his cheeseburger when the dog is around. This isn't the first time he has done this (a few weeks ago he tried to grab food from off the top of our microwave... I thought I put it up high enough but I underestimated his reach).

 

[mantine]

So you weren't looking for suggestions on how to control Grizz when he's biting you, only for suggestions to get your husband to stop hitting him??

I am working with the trainer and have started many other posts asking for help on how to get control of Grizzleys jumping and biting. I am open to any advice on dog trianing, I don't let Grizzley do what ever he wants when he wants and then when my husband comes home expect him to control the dog beacuse I don't know how or don't want to. That is not the situtation. I am working with Grizzley on everyththing from how to play nice, not jump, not bite, obeidience and I am signing him up for a "for fun" agility class in October and the trainer is working with me on things I will need to know for that.

Since you aren't happy with what your husband does when he steps in, just ask him to stay out of it and let you deal with the pup on your own. You will need to make "no" mean "no", your trainer can help you with that. But if you can stop the play behavior from escalating on your own, then your husband shouldn't feel the need to step in.

I do try to get control of Grizzley on my own, but again it is mainly when he is all hyped up that I have a hard time and he will only listen to my husband. If he is not in that "zoomie mode" he will listen to me. I know tone is hard to come across in a post like this: it is not as bad with my husband as it reads, he loves dogs, just didn't want the responsibility, he loves Grizzley and wouldn't give him up if I asked him if thats what he really wanted, he just doesn't have the patience and he is working on changing his lifestyle a little bit to accomodate having the puppy which is why I was asking for advice on how to get thru to him that hitting isn't the correct way to punish.

What is the best way to keep the play from escalating, or is that kind of impossible for a 6 month puppy, if I see the signs what should I do? He knows the command "calm" because if he doesn't sit and he is not a polite puppy he does not get petted. So its always sit, pet, if he starts mouthing I take my hand away and say calm and he will calm down and I will pet him again.

Start working on a food refusal with Grizz, so he knows food that isn't in his bowl, or being specifically offered to him, isn't his. Same goes for items that are being chewed up, etc. I realize he's a pup and this all takes time, but the sooner he learns these things, the less likely your husband is to feel the need to smack him.

Any advice on how to do this? I would love to start working with him with this.

If Grizz is submission peeing, it probably makes your husband angry, which is just going to make the problem even worse. It's a vicious cycle. If he does it outside, where there is no mess to clean up, it will be easier for your husband to ignore it until he outgrows it.

Its only a small trickle (which is why I wonder if it is more excitement than submission) and Todd doen't get mad at Grizzley when he does this. Todd knows Grizzley has been holding it all day and is excited that he is home. Todd really isn't a monster toward Grizzley. I am wanting a way to get thru to Todd about dog behavior and that Grizzley is just being a puppy and doesn't "know" that what he is doing is wrong, that if he leaves Grizzley in a room unsupervised with no toys he is going to make something in that room into a toy. I've said these things to him and it hasn't worked so far. But I know Todd wants to work on his relationship with Grizz.

 

[Zoom]

Thanks Zoom, yes he is getting close to the 6 month mark, I needed that reminder that he is getting into his "teenage years". Do you find that your Aussie acts differently when he is with just you versus with you and someone else, even if that person is there everyday? Is that an aussie trait or something a lot of dogs do?

You're welcome.

Sawyer does act more goofy when we're around other people, but he's also old enough now, about 3 1/2, and has been with me long enough to know that he still has to listen. However, he gets worked with almost every single day on something. Right now he's learning how to play out in the courtyard without barking his fool head off the whole time. His Kong has turned into his "mute button". It's frustrating, because he's a very barky dog when he gets excited, but I know there are lots of non-dog people around, so we persevere!

I think that's just a general dog trait to act up when company is around. It's a lot like kids, really.