What would be your 'deal breaker'??

[sparks19]

I can see why marriage means so much to so many people. I am one of those who doesnt care one way or another. If the man I love proposed to me and wanted to be married I would get married because it meant a lot to him. But I dont need it.

That being said I dont think someone should have to suck it up b ecause it means something to their partner. If I felt like I was sucking it up I would never agree to it.

yeah I have to agree with this.

I wouldn't MAKE my partner marry me. I can understand that the two might not jive (one person wants to be married and the other doesn't want to be married) If marriage is really important to you then I suspect that person isn't the right person for you anyway so forcing them into a commitment they might not want is just as unfair to them.

Lesson for the dating community LOL... find out their stance on the important things BEFORE you get serious with them and then end up disappointed when they don't want the same thing.

I remember with my ex he was adament that he would NEVER propose to me... I HAD to propose to him if I wanted to get married I wasn't big on that. He would NEVER consider proposing to me? why not? I mean I'm not against asking the guy to marry you or anything like that but it was just the insistence that he would never ask me no matter what. But that was one of the smallest problems as far as he was concerned lol. Thank goodness I never felt inclined to get married to that fool.

 

[Taqroy]

I'm already married but I'm answering anyway.

Jealousy/insecurity. Just....no.

Inability to manage money. It's not about HAVING money, it's about being able to live without going into debt. Matt had about 5 grand on credit cards when we got together and I made him pay it off. If he'd kept putting things on credit cards we wouldn't still be together.

Not willing to be part of my family. My family is really close knit and anyone who refused to be a part of it would be right out. Also anyone who doesn't think my dad is funny. (To be clear, I'm willing to do the same for their family - it's not a one way street.)

Dogs/pets. Like everyone else said, the dogs don't live outside, they have to be treated like royalty etc etc. And (if they didn't know anything about training) they'd have to listen to me when I explain something. Matt stepped up beautifully on this one, I was really impressed.

Kids. I want them eventually. Nuff said.

Religion. Don't like it, don't want it.

 

[~Jessie~]

Lesson for the dating community LOL... find out their stance on the important things BEFORE you get serious with them and then end up disappointed when they don't want the same thing.

THIS!

It's so important to discuss things before getting serious with someone.

Not wanting to get married would definitely be a deal breaker for me. There are SO many reasons as to why marriage just makes sense (the benefits that come with marriage).

Not liking animals would be another deal breaker. From the beginning Ian knew I wanted lots of pets and he's always been okay with it.

Smoking. I could never date a smoker.

Not caring about the future would be another deal breaker. I could never date/marry someone who didn't care about their future... like, someone who was content with working at McDonald's for their whole life.

Someone who lies and has jealousy issues. I could not deal with that EVER.

 

[Beanie]

Lesson for the dating community LOL... find out their stance on the important things BEFORE you get serious with them and then end up disappointed when they don't want the same thing.

It always surprises me how many people don't talk about this sort of thing... I mean, I've known people who GET MARRIED and then are devastated to find out he doesn't want kids, and they do... WTF?! How could this have NEVER come up? It is really beyond me...

 

[JustaLilBitaLuck]

My biggest deal breaker would be if someone adamently wanted to have children. I don't want children, now or ever, and I can't be with someone who does. It's a huge difference in lifestyles, and not one that I'm willing to compromise on.

As for marriage, I'm not really a big marriage person. To me, it's a piece of paper. I don't need a ring to show that I'm commited to someone. However, if they really wanted to get married, and it was the right person, that's something I'd bend on.

The other big thing is that they have to at least like dogs, and they have to accept that animals are always going to be a big part of my life. If they're not okay with that, they won't make it past the third or fourth date!

 

[skittledoo]

I should probably add that in addition to he must at least like my dogs and understand that they are NOT going to be left outside... he also has to understand that there will ALWAYS be dogs in my life and probably multiple dogs all throughout my life. I don't want the guy to turn around after my dogs have lived and gone and tell me no more dogs.

Josh really pissed me off yesterday because he keeps bringing up that if we didn't have the dogs, finding a place to live would be a hell of a lot easier. He said he isn't trying to tell me to rehome them or anything, but then why the hell even bring that up???? It's like he's almost trying to make me feel guilty for having them. Does he think I would ever actually move into a place that wouldn't allow dogs even if I never had Bamm and Cricket in the first place? Hell no. I moved out of a place specifically because the lady said dogs were ok verbally when I moved in, but when I told her there was one I was interested in she had gone and changed her mind. Mind you, he likes dogs, but he's lived most of his life without any animals and he's only ever had one dog before I came into the picture. But still... I know I'm married, but if he actually told me I needed to rehome the dogs well then... there's the front door buddy, you know your way out. He knew going into this marriage how important Bamm is to me and he knew going into this marriage that we were always going to have dogs. So now he can deal with that since he agreed to it or he can leave. Again, he wasn't telling me to rehome them, but I just don't even see the point of mentioning how easy it would be without the dogs to find a place to live if there's no reason that option would ever be considered. Sorry I'm venting... it just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Another thing that would definitely be a deal breaker for me (marriage or not)... cheating. Even in a marriage I will NOT give second chances for that one. I know plenty of people who have had a spouse cheat and they try and work through it, good for them... me? Not a chance in hell.

 

[Renee750il]

Vent and get it out, Amber I'd wager Josh is just venting frustration, too. You know he misses you, maybe even more than you're missing him, since you've got the dogs and he's out there solo. Once you're all back together he'll forget that frustration.

 

[skittledoo]

Vent and get it out, Amber I'd wager Josh is just venting frustration, too. You know he misses you, maybe even more than you're missing him, since you've got the dogs and he's out there solo. Once you're all back together he'll forget that frustration.

ya I figure that's more than likely what it is. he tends to REALLY speak his mind a lot without always thinking about what he's saying ahead of time which can make him come off as a real asshat sometimes to people. He doesn't always mean things the way he comes across and I need to remember that sometimes. I just love my dogs. You know how much my dogs mean to me so I couldn't help but get a little defensive on the issue. I miss Josh so much though... ugh

 

[Renee750il]

I know exactly what you mean

 

[HayleyMarie]

To me, marriage is more than just a ring and a certificate. It is to a lot of people (this is why so many people will tell you "marriage changes people!") From where I'm standing, though, marriage is actually NOT about the ring or the certificate. It's more about standing in front of God and saying "we are married." So it's a religious thing for me. It's not that way for everybody, but that's how it is for me.
Though really the deal breaker is more if somebody isn't also religious. Also, not being Catholic myself, I don't know if I could marry somebody who was a practicing Catholic.

Umm are we the same person

That pretty much Sums my take on marriage to a T. If Tyler was not a christian I would not even think about starting a relationship with him, just because being a Christian is such a big part of my life and my family's life. I also think it complicates things when you have children and one of you is not religious.


Also I dont think I could marry someone who did not want kids. Thats a deal breaker, but I would find that out in the beginning of the relationship.

Tyler and I have been together for 5 years now. And he graduates in less than a year. We both know what we want and we both want the same things. I think I probably will be putting a little bit of pressure on him to propose a year after he has a stable job and we are settled wherever we end up going. But I am pretty sure I won't have to do that. He knows what I want. WHHpppshhh. (thats me cracking a whip) HA HA but of course I am joking :rofl1:

I dont want to be one of these couples who lives together for years and years before getting married. I also dont want to be one of thoes couples who are engaged, but wait years to get married. I want to get engaged and get married the next summer.

Another deal breaker would be with the dogs. If he hates dogs he would be gone, of course thats not the case and he supports my love for dogs. hence he bough me Teagan and he will be buying our Mastiff. He loves me <3

 

[HayleyMarie]

ya I figure that's more than likely what it is. he tends to REALLY speak his mind a lot without always thinking about what he's saying ahead of time which can make him come off as a real asshat sometimes to people. He doesn't always mean things the way he comes across and I need to remember that sometimes. I just love my dogs. You know how much my dogs mean to me so I couldn't help but get a little defensive on the issue. I miss Josh so much though... ugh

Huggies. Tyler can be that way sometimes. I personally dont let him get away with it and its so hard when your living apart. Tyler is living in BC right now and I see him every few months so its hard sometimes and I miss him lots.

A few days ago Tyler commented that I might have to leave Teagan behind with my rents for a while when we move and if we can't find a place to rent or buy right away that allows dogs. I pretty much said "to hell with that idea"

When Tyler gets frustrated about things. I tell him no matter what things are going to work out. I have always told him that and things have always worked out.

 

[skittledoo]

Huggies. Tyler can be that way sometimes. I personally dont let him get away with it and its so hard when your living apart. Tyler is living in BC right now and I see him every few months so its hard sometimes and I miss him lots.

A few days ago Tyler commented that I might have to leave Teagan behind with my rents for a while when we move and if we can't find a place to rent or buy right away that allows dogs. I pretty much said "to hell with that idea"

When Tyler gets frustrated about things. I tell him no matter what things are going to work out. I have always told him that and things have always worked out.

I'm so glad I'm not alone on this. I think sometimes it's hard for Josh to fully understand. While he does love the dogs and wants us to have them, he's still kind of getting used to the, "they are more than just a pet, they are my family" part of the deal. The fact that he never really had much in the way of pets growing up probably factors. You and I need to just hold our ground and stick to our guns. lol.

 

[Samantha's pet]

Smoking. Enough said.

Religion. I don't mind if someone is lightly religious (though still don't see the point) but if they're super heavy into it and actually take the bible (or whatever holy book they choose) at face value, that's a deal breaker. Especially if they tried to convert me, that'd just flat out be a "there's the door" scenario.

I concur on both!

 

[Taqroy]

ya I figure that's more than likely what it is. he tends to REALLY speak his mind a lot without always thinking about what he's saying ahead of time which can make him come off as a real asshat sometimes to people. He doesn't always mean things the way he comes across and I need to remember that sometimes. h

Ugh Matt does this sometimes. And then he'll do this horribly annoying thing where he doesn't elaborate on whatever idiot comment he made and I know that's not what he meant but he won't talk about it so I just get more mad. He's gotten a lot better about it I guess....but it still comes up occasionally. His communication skills needed a lot of work when we got together....LOL. (In the interest of fairness, mine did too. But mine were better than his. )

 

[Babyblue5290]

Deal breakers:

Religious. I don't mind a little bit, but I'm not going to church, don't bother asking. I do like a lively conversation about the matter though.

Smokers Just No. I can't stand it, it's not going to work.

Heavy drinkers I've never been one to go out and party all the time, I just don't want to do it. I don't mind every once in a while (once every few months) but not every week.

Non-dog people I love dogs, that's not going to change and you better get along with them.

Guy's that want a stay at home mome It's not for me. I will always beable to support myself, I will have the job I want, and I don't like being forced to depend upon someone else.

lots of kids Lately, I've come around to the idea of one, maybe 2 kids, but that's it. I don't mind at all not having any kids, I'm open to that completely! I'm not the motherly type. I am open to adoption though!

laziness I don't want to sit in the house all day playing video games! I don't mind sitting for a few hours at most, but I'm am a get-up-and-go type person, I want to get up and go! lol

Intellegence Doesn't have to be a genius, but I do like to have debates/conversations about things.


Wow, my standards are high LOL!! lol Though, honestly, they've always been high which is why I didn't date often. I dated 3 guys before David. First was a pity date, he was a very nice, but scrawny/geeky boy I knew for a few years that I felt sorry for. I figured a date would boost his moral a little, and it did. I even let him tell everyone he broke up with me as I didn't give a darn either way.

Second was very athletic/cute, but not my type personality wise. I said yes just to hang out and be "normal." I was tired of people (family/friends mostly tauntingly) asking if I was a lesbian.

Third, very cute neighbor, so hot! >_< Not enough brains though.

David is the only one I was willing to take a chance on, and actually open up to. I felt a connection, I've never felt before with anyone. He's the perfect guy for me! ^_^