What Do YOU Think?

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Solace

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#21
Try before you Buy :D

In all seriousness I agree with RD, Jess, et al.

I'm getting married in February, and waiting til after marriage just isn't part of who I am.
 

Jules

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#22
Sex is a fantastic thing! Like Jess said, most of the times. And that's exactly why I did not wait until marriage. I want to be compatible with the person I am going to share the rest of my life with on every level...and this may sound shallow, but if hubby was bad in the sack...that would be a problem for me. It's just like being kissed for the first time by a bad sloppy kisser...who wants that?! :)

To the teenage sex... I think there are limits. I would not encourage a 12 or 13 year old to go out and explore...but I don't see the problem with a 16 or 17 year old being intimate with someone they are with. If I ever have children, I will make sure to teach them the right values and educate them about safe sex. Just because a girl 16 and up has sex with her boyfriend will not turn her into a slut.
 

Whisper

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#23
Grammy, you know I have nothing but respect for you but I do have to argue one thing . . . Just one. :D

Why are numbers so important? Why is 18 a magical number, bringing bountiful maturity and the responsibility to have sex? Would it really be any different with a 17 year old?

I do think that teens can fall in love without it just being lust and hormones. But I guess that's a completely different debate :D
I 100% agree. . .!
 

M&M's Mommy

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#24
Me personally, I think it is going(;)) to be great thing, an awsome thing that should be saved for your husband, and your husband should save it for his wife too. Speaking about me....My body is saved for my husband, and no one else. :) And Yes I look forward to it, when I am married! On that special "night" :D My husband is going to know things about me and my body that know one else should know.


So what are your views on it?
Obviously I'm in the minority here, but I believe that one should abstain from sex until marriage, because of two reasons:

1- Sex is a gift of oneself, and should not be given freely, and carelessly. It should only be given to the one that you're totally, 100%-ly, with all heart and soul committed to, and that level of commitment can only be achieved through marriage.

2- God's intend for sex is for us to reproduce. Only through marriage, people are open to the birthing of their children. If you take reproducing out of sex, you're taking the meaning & essence of it out, and that's agaisnt God's will.

For anyone who compared our bodies and others' as a "thing" that should be "tried" before "buying" - I don't really know how to commend. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and was created in God's image. It's not a thing to be "tried", and "disqualified" if it's not "compatible". - Well, at least, to me, it is not.

Lizmo, I applaud you for believing that sex is reserved for married people only, and pray & hope that you'll be able to save it for your future husband... I'm proud of the fact that I was a virgin bride, and that was probably one of the very best decision I've ever made. My husband also saved himself for me, so on our first night of marriage, both of us gave each other the best gift ever: ourselves!
 
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RD

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#26
For anyone who compared our bodies and others' as a "thing" that should be "tried" before "buying" - I don't really know how to commend. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and was created in God's image. It's not to be "tried", and "disqualified" if it's not "compatible". - Well, at least, to me, it is not.
Every "Temple" is unique, and not all will be compatible. I would imagine that between married couples, sex is a big part of the relationship. How horrible would it be to marry someone (commit for LIFE) and realize that you are completely incompatible in bed?

Sex is for reproduction, but does that mean it's wrong to have sex for fun and pleasure? Just wondering.
 

bogolove

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#27
I think it is a personal choice, but I do think you need to be mature enough to understand the consequences of things that come along with sex. If you can't comfortably talk to your partner about birth control or about STD safety, then you either do not know them well enough to engage in sexual activity or you are not mature enough to be having sex and to take everything that comes along with it. There is a lot of responsibility that comes along with having sex, and if a person is too scared to buy condoms, and too scared to ask their doctor to put them on birth control, and too scared to ask the other person what they think and what they are doing to protect themselves, then they are not mature enough to take this on yet. Period.

But when you are in a mature relationship (whether married or not) and can talk about those kinds of things, and other things you may want to do ;) then it is a wonderful and fantastic thing. But if you don't feel ready to do it, then it is not at all a wonderful and fantastic thing.
 

M&M's Mommy

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#28
Every "Temple" is unique, and not all will be compatible. I would imagine that between married couples, sex is a big part of the relationship. How horrible would it be to marry someone (commit for LIFE) and realize that you are completely incompatible in bed?
Yes, sex is a big part of any marriages, but it is NOT the only part. Sexual compatibility is definitely a wonderful bonus for the couple, but, it is not (and should not be) a deciding factor should their marriage works or not. I've known lots of couple who stay happlily married long after one of the partner have become sexually incapable due to some types of illness or accident. If sex is the only important thing in the marriage, that marriage is not gonna last, because as people age, their sexual drives decrease, and if they don't have anything else to hold onto, soon there will be nothing to keep them together.

Sex is for reproduction, but does that mean it's wrong to have sex for fun and pleasure? Just wondering.
OK, since you've asked the question, I'd have to give you my answer, even though i know it may not be something you'd want to hear, or agree with :)

Yes, having sex just for fun and pleasure is wrong. Sex is an ultimate self-giving act between two individuals who are totally committed to each other, thus having sex just for fun is in itself a selfish act. In fact, two people should ONLY have sex when they are both open for the possibility of children, as it is what sex is supposed to do. Sex for fun and pleasure alone is definitely NOT what sex is created for, nor meant to be, thus makes it wrong.

I'm sure by now you can tell that I'm also a firm believer of natural birth control. Married couiple should stay abstinence during the fertile period, which is at most only a week of every month - that "waiting period" will make sex a lot more desirable and enjoyable when they can resume it later on. This method also enhances marriage, because it fosters undestanding and communication between the husband and wife, and it also makes the female to be more intune with her body.
 
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GSDluver4lyfe

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#29
Yes, having sex just for fun and pleasure is wrong. Two people should ONLY have sex when they are both open for the possibility of children. Like I said earlier, sex for fun and pleasure alone is NOT what sex is created for, and meant to be.

I'm sure by now you can tell that I'm also a firm believer of natural birth control. Married couiple should stay abstinence during the fertile period, which is at most only a week of every month - that "waiting period" will make sex a lot more desirable and enjoyable when they can resume it later on. This method also enhances marriage, because it fosters undestanding and communication between the husband and wife, and it also makes the female to be more intune with her body.

Ok, didnt you just say God created our bodies, right? If sex was not meant for pleasure then our bodies would not have been created the way they are. Why would God give us the ability to feel pleasure if we could not use it (dont know if that makes sense)? God, IMO, would not create useless stuff when creating us. EVERY part of our body was made for a reason. God gave us something special apart from other animals.

Now, I have already made the decision not to have kids (I might adopt) because of my family's health issues. I am a carrier of a gene that has killed many people in my family and I couldnt live with myself bringing an innocent child in the world with this illness. SHould I be punished because of my decision and not be able to feel the pleasure and joy of sex because I dont want kids (and that is NOT a selfish decision)?
 

Gustav

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#30
The whole abstaining till marriage thing is not so popular in Europe.. Just look at the Italians! ;) It's not a thing that is talked about or practiced, well not that I have ever heard of anyway.... If I had waited till I was married to the person who I first had sex with we would have been divorced long before now, we were great friends, soul mates even, but sexually TOTALLY incompatible!!! It was a disaster from the word go!

Is it better to wait only to get divorced a few months down the line? NO!

Like all things you should think about the consequences of your actions, look before you leap etc, but you do have to ask yourself "What if we aren't compatible in bed?" You wouldn't know until you were married!

Anyone who says sex is not important in a relationship is wrong, or not doing it right! It's a wonderful sharing experience like no other on earth, and shouldn't be discounted so lightly! Most causes of marriage break up's are due to sexual problems...

Hey it's a great way to lose weight too... Just kidding... Well sorta! ;) :D

Sex is fun, funny, a great way to be close to someone, and a way of showing your true feelings for someone in a physical way. Not telling all you kids out there to go do it or anything, but I think you are all savvy enough to work that one out for yourselves!

And what if you never meet the one you want to marry? You'd miss out on so much..

I often wonder if people who have waited until they are married think to themselves.. "Is this it?" And have affairs just to see if it really is it... I don't know that I would be able to stop myself from wondering what it would be like with someone else, maybe that's why there are swingers? I don't know.
 

Dreeza

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#31
I want to be compatible with the person I am going to share the rest of my life with on every level...and this may sound shallow, but if hubby was bad in the sack...that would be a problem for me. It's just like being kissed for the first time by a bad sloppy kisser...who wants that?! :)
ROFL....the first date with my current bf, we kissed, and it totally messed everything up...he was a really bad kisser...and i told him i didnt want to date him anymore b/c of it (well, i didnt tell him that until later, lol)

i ended up giving him another chance...and it turns out, he was just REALLY nervous, cause every other time since than his kisses are just perfection :D

So yes, i think compatability totally matters!!
 

jess2416

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#32
Yes, having sex just for fun and pleasure is wrong. Two people should ONLY have sex when they are both open for the possibility of children. Like I said earlier, sex for fun and pleasure alone is NOT what sex is created for, and meant to be.
So just because I dont want children I should never have sex ??
 

M&M's Mommy

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#33
Ok, didnt you just say God created our bodies, right? If sex was not meant for pleasure then our bodies would not have been created the way they are. Why would God give us the ability to feel pleasure if we could not use it (dont know if that makes sense)? God, IMO, would not create useless stuff when creating us. EVERY part of our body was made for a reason. God gave us something special apart from other animals. )
Yes, God created our bodies, and give us the ability to enjoy sex. Sex, in all means, is a blessing and a gift to mankind - BUT (I can't emphazise this enough) - God intended for us to use sex as a mean to co-create with him in a context of marriage. Thus, if one only uses sex for pleasure alone, one has abused God's wonderful gift!

Now, I have already made the decision not to have kids (I might adopt) because of my family's health issues. I am a carrier of a gene that has killed many people in my family and I couldnt live with myself bringing an innocent child in the world with this illness. SHould I be punished because of my decision and not be able to feel the pleasure and joy of sex because I dont want kids (and that is NOT a selfish decision)?
No, of course it's not a selfish decision when you don't want kids for health reasons. Lots of people choose not to have kids for one reason or another, and that's absolutely okay. Things is if you choose not to have kids, you should not have sex during the period that you can get pregnant. Natural birth control means you should avoid having sex on the week that you're fertile. Of course, for the rest of the month, you can still have sex, and enjoy it as much as you want. Sex have two purposes: 1) to reproduce
2) to give oneself to your partner in a committed relationship. That's why people don't just have sex when they want to get pregnant, they have sex at other times, just to show their love, too :)
 

Gustav

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#34
if you choose not to have kids, you should not have sex during the period that you can get pregnant. Natural birth control means you should avoid having sex on the week that you're fertile.
I'm sorry but that is totally false, a woman can actually get pregnant at any time during her cycle, even when she is menstruating!! Does that mean she has to abstain from sex till she has the menopause?
 

bubbatd

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#35
I think some points are being lost here . I picked 18 because at that point you are supposed to think like an adult ....can vote and fight for your freedom . Most teenage sex is between 2 who have dated a short time . Sex between 2 adults should be when they have known each other long enough to be committed to marriage . Yes, I'm a prude !!
 

Dreeza

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#36
Natural birth control means you should avoid having sex on the week that you're fertile. Of course, for the rest of the month, you can still have sex, and enjoy it as much as you want.
if only natural BC was that reliable...

anyways, i dont think sex for pleasure is wrong (as long as it follows my other 'standards') ... i plan to have sex to have kids...just not quite yet!
 

M&M's Mommy

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#37
So just because I dont want children I should never have sex ??
Um.. I think if you read my commends carefully, you'll see that I've never said, or meant it that way.

So, no, just because you don't want children doesn't mean you should never have sex with your husband! It means you should avoid having sex during the one week that you can get pregnant!
 
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#38
It dawned on me a long time ago that sharing what was between my ears was a far greater and more unselfish and important gift to someone than what was between my legs . . . THAT just seems to be a rather barbaric method of keeping control of women. The whole issue of women's chastity devolved from patriarchal theocracies breaking down the existing cultures and societal organizations and creating their own.

To a great extent, it is a matter of personal freedom. And it does require a measure of intellectual - and even more importantly - emotional maturity.

I'll refer you to the quote in Buckshot's signature:
"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest." Diderot
 

jess2416

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#39
Um.. I think if you read my commends carefully, you'll see that I've never said, or meant it that way.

So, no, just because you don't want children doesn't mean you should never have sex with your husband! It means you should avoid having sex during the one week that you can get pregnant!
What husband ?? I dont want to get married...
 

M&M's Mommy

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#40
I'm sorry but that is totally false, a woman can actually get pregnant at any time during her cycle, even when she is menstruating!! Does that mean she has to abstain from sex till she has the menopause?
hehe.. no, the woman can ONLY get pregnant during the fertile period. The egg can only live for 24 hours, and sperms can only live for up to 72 hours. Asumming that sperms can get into her body 3 days before the ovulation, or three days after - plus the ovulation day - that means 1 week total.

In order to successfully practice natural birth control, the woman has to learn to know her body, and be able to convince her husband to do so, too :)

I practice natural birth control, and all of my relative/friends practice it, too. None of us have any "accident" yet :). Studies show that if one does it correctly, the successful rate can be up to 98%!
 
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