So I have been doing a lot of research on babies, obviously since I have one
and have been practicing "attachment parenting" with Chloe. For those of you who are not aware of what attachment parenting is, it is a term coined by Dr. Sears that basically means what the term implies; ie. responding to your babies cues in a timely, nurturing manner. When Chloe cries her needs are met in as timely a manner as possible. She Co-sleeps with me and DH and during the day spends most of her time either in-arms or in the wrap. I rarely use "containment objects" such as the swing, stroller, or chairs. Chloe is never left to "cry-it-out". If she has had all her needs met and is still fussing/crying then she is doing so in my arms while I reassure her. Sometimes babies do need to cry to let off some steam but I believe it should be in a environment that is respectful of her feelings and comforting for her. I know when I cry I would hate to be ignored and would start to feel that I was not valued if I was consistently ignored when I voiced a need.
Looking at other cultures (excluding America and most of Europe) you will find that babies cries are responded to immediatly, babies sleep with their families and spend the majority of their time with their caregivers, who are not necessarily engaging them, just allowing them to observe the world they are soon to join. These cultures tend to have a much decreased issue with mental health problems, social issues, and behavioral issues as adults. Their babies brains are able to form neural pathways in a healthy manner. Their babies cortisol levels are much lower than babies in Western cultures where "sleeping through the night" and "crying it out" are practiced.
When my baby cries my brain triggers a chemical reaction that encourages me to respond to her cue. Why are we so keen on ignoring this biological urge to comfort our young? Why are we so eager to brag that our new baby is sleeping through the night? Why are we so happy to have a baby that has given up on trying to communicate with us in the only way they know how, crying?
When we push our babies to be independent (a completely unnatural practice) they lose trust in us their caregiver. Here they are on this strange planet where they don't speak the language, and they are constantly bombarded with outside stimuli that they have no way of comprehending, and when they use the only tool they have to communicate with us we ignore it. How despairing to that infant to not understand why no one is coming to comfort them when they are distressed.
Why as a culture are we so impressed with independence? No human adult likes to be ignored when they are scared, hungry, hurt, sad, angry, uncomfortable, or lonely but we encourage it in our infants.
We have years ahead of us to practice our independence. Research shows that if we are nurtured, loved and responded to as infants/toddler we become more outgoing and self assured children and adults. I believe our society would be much more peaceful if we all grew up knowing we were cared for and our needs would be met.
/end rant\
and have been practicing "attachment parenting" with Chloe. For those of you who are not aware of what attachment parenting is, it is a term coined by Dr. Sears that basically means what the term implies; ie. responding to your babies cues in a timely, nurturing manner. When Chloe cries her needs are met in as timely a manner as possible. She Co-sleeps with me and DH and during the day spends most of her time either in-arms or in the wrap. I rarely use "containment objects" such as the swing, stroller, or chairs. Chloe is never left to "cry-it-out". If she has had all her needs met and is still fussing/crying then she is doing so in my arms while I reassure her. Sometimes babies do need to cry to let off some steam but I believe it should be in a environment that is respectful of her feelings and comforting for her. I know when I cry I would hate to be ignored and would start to feel that I was not valued if I was consistently ignored when I voiced a need. Looking at other cultures (excluding America and most of Europe) you will find that babies cries are responded to immediatly, babies sleep with their families and spend the majority of their time with their caregivers, who are not necessarily engaging them, just allowing them to observe the world they are soon to join. These cultures tend to have a much decreased issue with mental health problems, social issues, and behavioral issues as adults. Their babies brains are able to form neural pathways in a healthy manner. Their babies cortisol levels are much lower than babies in Western cultures where "sleeping through the night" and "crying it out" are practiced.
When my baby cries my brain triggers a chemical reaction that encourages me to respond to her cue. Why are we so keen on ignoring this biological urge to comfort our young? Why are we so eager to brag that our new baby is sleeping through the night? Why are we so happy to have a baby that has given up on trying to communicate with us in the only way they know how, crying?
When we push our babies to be independent (a completely unnatural practice) they lose trust in us their caregiver. Here they are on this strange planet where they don't speak the language, and they are constantly bombarded with outside stimuli that they have no way of comprehending, and when they use the only tool they have to communicate with us we ignore it. How despairing to that infant to not understand why no one is coming to comfort them when they are distressed.
Why as a culture are we so impressed with independence? No human adult likes to be ignored when they are scared, hungry, hurt, sad, angry, uncomfortable, or lonely but we encourage it in our infants.
We have years ahead of us to practice our independence. Research shows that if we are nurtured, loved and responded to as infants/toddler we become more outgoing and self assured children and adults. I believe our society would be much more peaceful if we all grew up knowing we were cared for and our needs would be met.
/end rant\
