weddings and stress

[FoxyWench]

the 2 seem to go together, but what about for bridesmaids.

my frined is getting married next year and wants me as a bridesmaid...
shes picked out what she wants us to wear (havent seen it yet) but informed us that its gonna cost "around $200 each"...

UGH...
where the heck am i supposed to find $200... i dont even have the money to fill my tank...

i need a job.

 

[Fran101]

Talk to the bride, if she really wants you to be a bridesmaid and if you guys are close, she should understand that you can't afford the dress right now.

Take a look at the dresses, if they are simple, duplicates can be found as cheaper stores like davids bridal. same color/style, just less $$

Personally, I hate making bridesmaids spend that kind of money on a dress. because its something they will only wear once, and 9/10, the dress is hideous.

I like to give a choice of specific colors, and let the girls find an appropriate dress that suits their style and body type.
or figure the bridesmaids dresses into the budget.

talk to the bride, see what you can do.

Take a look at the dress, if its tailor made and kinda cute, it could actually be worth the cost.

if its hideous, I wouldn't bother.

 

[CaliTerp07]

I picked a color, told my bridesmaids to pick any dress in that color, and I paid for it. I could NOT justify asking my friends to spend $200 on an ugly dress they'd never wear again! (And I only had 3 bm's and 1 flower girl, so I didn't have to buy an army's worth of dresses)

Bridesmaids are doing the bride a favor by standing up there and supporting her. It's not like you should feel obligated to do it, especially if you can't afford it!

 

[milos_mommy]

I agree with everyone else.

But, she might want you to wear THAT dress.

You might not be able to find THAT dress for cheaper.

Let her know that it's a lot of money. Let her know she might not get some great wedding present because you can't afford that + the dress. Start saving up. Keep your eye on sales. Etc. If she's your very best friend and this is an important part of her wedding, you both need to do whatever you can to make it work.

 

[Pam111]

I'm having that issue right now, too. My best friend is getting married in October and I'll be a bridesmaid. She also wants Damien to be a ring bearer. She lives in North Carolina, so we have to travel there and get the dress and stuff. Luckily, she is allowing us to choose our own dresses as long as they are the same color and ribbon accents will probably be added. this is because her bridesmaids range in size from rail thin with no boobs and hips to curvy size 20s.

 

[FoxyWench]

i did mention the money thing and she just said "youve got a year" i told her that if finances didnt pick up that my bills come before a bridesmaid dress...

i think shes going to do a rennaisance themed wedding, which is fine i have a metric butload of garb...and i do understand that if it is garb its expensive...but still, theres a reason i only own 3 pairs of jeans and havent bought a new pair of sneakers yet despite the large holes in my current pair...
i put what money i do have into the important things first, food, bills, making sure my dogs have food and some aside for emergencies, go juice for my car...whats left then trickles into other things...and a $200 dress isnt currently on that list unless its something i can wear over and over and over...

 

[Renee750il]

I've been quite successful all my life at sidestepping the whole bridesmaid thing I just volunteer to do something productive that will ensure I'm needed beforehand and not available to stand there during the whole ceremony

 

[Fran101]

i did mention the money thing and she just said "youve got a year" i told her that if finances didnt pick up that my bills come before a bridesmaid dress...

i think shes going to do a rennaisance themed wedding, which is fine i have a metric butload of garb...and i do understand that if it is garb its expensive...but still, theres a reason i only own 3 pairs of jeans and havent bought a new pair of sneakers yet despite the large holes in my current pair...
i put what money i do have into the important things first, food, bills, making sure my dogs have food and some aside for emergencies, go juice for my car...whats left then trickles into other things...and a $200 dress isnt currently on that list unless its something i can wear over and over and over...

I love being a bridesmaid but that kind of stuff is just RUDE

I've done the bridesmaid thing about 11 times. I had plenty of these dresses, MOST brides pay for the dress
and for the ones that don't, the MOST i've had to pay is about $100 and she was willing to help if you couldn't pay for the whole thing, and the dress was BEAUTIFUL and versatile, I still wear it.
your only going to wear it once and its for HER WEDDING

"Well..you've got a year"
OH COME ON. my life does not revolve around saving $ to spend on a dress for your wedding

I would buy yourself things you need and politely decline the whole bridesmaid thing..

 

[ACooper]

I would buy yourself things you need and politely decline the whole bridesmaid thing..

Agreed. If you really can't afford it, you can't afford it and that's how it goes.

I normally decline offers of being bride's maids. The only one I've accepted has been my sister's maid of honor and luckily enough the dresses she liked for her maids were elegant and useful for other occasions. (some of them QUITE FUN ) I still have mine in the closet.

 

[milos_mommy]

I mean personally I want my bridesmaids to all have the same dress, I don't want to do the whole "pick a color" thing, but I don't think I'd pick over a 100$ bridesmaids dress. If I was having an expensive wedding and wanted expensive dresses, I'd figure I'm spending so much money on the wedding in the first place, I might as well buy the bridesmaids dresses, especially if I only had like 2 or 3. Or I'd say "this is the dress I'm thinking of, it's __$$, let me know if you'll have a problem with the cost" and try and help out whoever couldn't afford it and let whoever could just pay for it.