I can understand how dogs don't like cats, normally, yeah - that's how it is in nature, but this dog has lived the past four years with cats and never had any problems before. The sudden aggression mixed with the fact that SHE TRIED TO BITE MY WIFE is the reason I'm doing this.
How old is the dog and how sudden is the aggression?
You're in a state of flux. Your dog feels that. An insecure dog is an unpredictable dog. This isn't, it doesn't seem, like a problem that's solved by throwing money at it - it's something that could well be handled by first calming yourself and ditching any anger and fear in your life, then by reassuring your dog and rebuilding her confidence through simple things that she isn't going to fail at.
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Go back and examine what changes were happening when these behaviors started to change. You'll find a lot of your answers there.
Very true. There's a lot going on right now and it seems the dynamics of the house are unstable. I would manage the situation with separation until after the move and until after you're settled into the new place.
I don't understand how you can say that you expect and animal to act like a dog, but then insist that training her like she was a part of the pack is wrong. I agree, you cant get upset at a dog for acting the way she does. Shes a dog. She thinks like a dog. Therefore, I wish to "train" her, if you will, like the pack animal she is! I don't see whats wrong with this.
Dogs aren't necessarily pack animals. There's a considerable amount of debate on that topic, but much evidence to support the theory that dogs, while social animals, are not pack animals.
In simple terms, people make a poor imitation of a dog and as such are ill equipped to attempt to communicate in "doggy terms". Dogs don't alpha roll each other. A superior dog will perhaps posture and a submissive dog will roll over.
Is it normal though for a dog to sometimes not care about the cat, and sometimes want to eat the cat?
Depends, but yea. and in such cases you should also look at the cat and what signals are being sent.
It's not even that it's sometimes she doesn't care and sometimes she wants to eat the cat. It's like sometimes she's happy with the cat. The cat walks by, the dog smells her, licks her, the cat rubs against the dog, everything is great. They lay in the sun together next to the patio door - but then sometimes the dog wants to go after her. Not in a playful way or even like a "I want to eat you" way, but more of a rage way, like she wants to tear the cat apart because of rage.
If it truly is rage and not prey drive, then you need to get the dog checked by a vet. Possible causes could be seizures or hypothyroidism or pain among others.
As for the guarding, most resource guarding is a defensive behavior. The worst approach is to become confrontational, which would give the dog justification in his defensiveness. Hand feeding is good. Also, put his food bowl down with just a little bit of food in it. Then toss some more in the bowl. Then toss some more in there. He'll figure out that when people come by his bowl, he gets more food. When he has treats or bones or whatever in his crate, you can also walk by and put a treat into his crate.