We have a little problem. Advice needed.

[Squishy22]

before anyone can give you information on what to do, you need to find out EXACTLY what is going on. You mention he owes $2500 in fines, if he never showed up to get sentenced, then what are those for?

You might be able to call the courts yourself and find out what's going on, or maybe his family can have a lawyer look into.

35 yrs is a long sentence... are you sure that's accurate? He'd have to do more than damage a car to get that. I know someone who drove his car INTO a parked car intent on damaging it, not as an accident. He was charged, and only had a fine + his license taken away.

He may be making it sound worse than it is. If it does comes down to some jail time(like 6 months or something), he may just have to deal with it. It sounds like OK is a better place for you both to live.

I am not 100% sure how long he would go to jail or prison for. He said that since its a felony, its going to be 35 years. Not sure where he got that number from or what. I through that sentence was a little bit RIDICULOUS.

Arson of a car, a felony. He also has misdemeanors that add onto it. Thats what he says anyway. I dont have a clue how the law works, so I have no idea. We need an attorney badly, because I hate being completely clueless.

OK would be a much better place for sure. That would be my DREAM to move back there. With 25 acres, I can have all the doggies I wanted. LOL. I'd become a hoarder or something. Maybe even a horse.

 

[Squishy22]

Oh yeah. I wouldn't mind him doing his time. Just as long as it isnt YEARS. He has a family. He screwed up and now he has to pay for it one way or another, something needs to be done.

 

[bubbatd]

I agree with getting to the bottom of all this . There has to be more to the story . Did he steal the car ?? Wreck ?? Burn it ?? Please loo into it . Daughter took law in OK , but I don't think that this is enough info to advise you .

 

[makenzie71]

First thing's first...you need to evaluate just how much you want to go to Oklahoma. If having a home and land there is worth a lot then you're going to have to spend money. If you're "eh I could stay or go, whatever" then stay where you are...or move to a state that isn't within a few hundred miles of Oklahoma.

You need a lawyer. It's none of our business what your guy has done or why...most of us only want to know so we can gossip about it with our spouses and such. A lawyer is going to be the only person who needs to hear the whole thing. You'll need someone specializing in criminal law and be prepared to spend money on it...they have big fancy houses for a reason. Your husband will need to visit with an attorney and discuss with him just what your best options are and how to take care of everything in Oklahoma. He will be the one who needs to contact and negotiate with the charging DA.

Alternatively, have your man call the charging DA's office and talk to them. See what they're willing give him.

Unfortunately, though, there are very few real holes out of a felony, and in order to seal the deal up your man is most likely going to spend some time in jail. Be prepared for that. He needs to be prepared for that.

It's also only a matter of time before he gets arrested by someone willing wait and see if Oklahoma will come and pick him up. They may come, they may not, but you're not in the clear just because you're in another state.

 

[PoodleMommy]

It's none of our business what your guy has done or why...most of us only want to know so we can gossip about it with our spouses and such.

she came on and asked for advice and people who CARE are trying to give her that advice and help her out... people arent asking for more info so they can gossip about it.

 

[Renee750il]

In reality, if his record has been good ever since, and if he didn't have a string of offenses prior, a conscientious defense attorney can usually work a good deal with a DA, including probation or a suspended sentence - PROVIDED the fines get paid.

Like everything else, once the statistics are in so the DA can use them to get elected, it's all about money, and there's nothing to be gained by putting a father of two children who is working and supporting his family in jail, especially if it's going to mean the family has to become dependent on state subsidies to survive.

 

[Squishy22]

I just want to say thanks to everyone who gave advice. I appreciate it very much. I am having him call and his mom is trying to get more info as well.

We very much want to move as he has family there, but this needs to be sorted out before doing so. I dont want to pack up and move, to have him picked up by the cops and thrown into jail for YEARS.

I would think that he would have to do time for a felony as well as pay his fines. But on the other hand, his dad, who also had a felony in MO had it completely dropped after so many years. Although I do not know the details.

To give a little more background on what happened. My fiance was out with his younger brother after a family fight had been going on (they come from an abusive home). His brother ended up hurting himself in an attempt to commit suicide. They had no cell phone to call 911. My fiance ended up stealing a truck to take his brother to the hospital. He then set the truck on fire in an attempt to cover up that he stole the vehicle. He got caught.

He also has misdemeanors and am not going to get into those, because I dont know all the fine details.

This is the story of the felony that he is now facing. Maybe some will gossip, but I honestly dont really care. I think people here are more so just trying to help.

 

[Squishy22]

In reality, if his record has been good ever since, and if he didn't have a string of offenses prior, a conscientious defense attorney can usually work a good deal with a DA, including probation or a suspended sentence - PROVIDED the fines get paid.

Like everything else, once the statistics are in so the DA can use them to get elected, it's all about money, and there's nothing to be gained by putting a father of two children who is working and supporting his family in jail, especially if it's going to mean the family has to become dependent on state subsidies to survive.

Thats what I am thinking as well.

 

[Miakoda]

This is definitely a situation where having a good, reputable defense attorney working with you would be a big plus. It will cost, but it's for the best.

 

[bubbatd]

Forget gossip here !!! We're here for you ! None of us are Lily White , we want the best for you and your 2 babies and what I hope will be your husband . Maybe if you get married , the courts would be more lenient . The courts do lean towards family rather than sperm donors .

 

[Squishy22]

I just hope this gets settled and all figured out sooner than later.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

I have nothing to add from the legal advice end of this...just want to say that I hope you can figure your way through it--it's hard when our past keeps us from having a future. Your guy sounds like a good guy, who had a tough start to life. I'm sure having you and Madison help him to want to find a way to sort through this. Hang in there.

 

[Squishy22]

Thank you, Bax.

 

[J's crew]

My husband had a felony warrant out of state from 1996. Last year he called and spoke with the DA and agreed to pay the money he owed if the warrant would be dismissed. He basically told the DA he would not be back in that state again, and since the warrant wasn't affecting him in any way why not just take the money and remove the warrant. The DA actually agreed, the money was paid, and my husband was sent a official document showing the warrant has been removed.

My husband had called a few times on the matter before. He was told to retain a lawyer by alot of people but thankfully it took that one DA to step outside of the box and make things work.

It might be worth calling the courts about. Like with your fiance, the warrant was not extraditable (sp) so you never know....

His was over a $2k bounced check....not sure if it would work in your case with the difference in charges. I hope it all turns out well for you though.

 

[Squishy22]

Wow, sounds like he got lucky Js Crew. I would love for something like that to happen in my fiances case.

 

[puppydog]

Forget gossip here !!! We're here for you ! None of us are Lily White , we want the best for you and your 2 babies and what I hope will be your husband . Maybe if you get married , the courts would be more lenient . The courts do lean towards family rather than sperm donors .

That is very very offensive. A piece of paper and a band of metal does not make a family! :yikes:
It is clear that both Reggin and her fiance are dedicated to their family. We all get that you dissaprove of their living situation, but plugging it on every thread about her family is getting tiresome.
Courts are no longer so closed minded by the way. They take family into consideration, married or not.

 

[xpaeanx]

I hope everything works out for you!!! Even if you call the DA and they don't drop the charges, I highly doubt he'd get 35 yrs for what you described... and he'll also probably get the chance of parol.

What I would do is call the DA office and find out what he's charged with and talk to them. Maybe he can talk them down himself, maybe he can't. After trying that, if he is unable to get them to drop it or get charged with something you both can live with. I'd call a lawyer and talk to him about it.

In reality, it IS all about the money. If they jail him, then they have to sell out cash to feed/clothe/house him. While he did something that does require jail time, they may just take the fines w. a low amount of jail time or no time. The DA doesn't care about you, he doesn't care about your kids, he doesn't care about your fiance. All he cares about is looking good, and what makes him look good is to keep the cash flow comming in, not going out.

Not that these are anywhere near the same, but I am prob the queen of speeding tickets. I have 1 ticket on my record for doing 5 miles over(when I was really 35 miles over), everything else is a parking ticket. Why? the fines are the same, and it takes them less court time for the DA to just drop it and have me hand over cash. I've never had to sit infront of a judge.

 

[bubbatd]

Sorry it came across that way . We all know that they are a dedicated family . But the courts don't know that . I just thought that they might be more lenient .

 

[Squishy22]

That is very very offensive. A piece of paper and a band of metal does not make a family! :yikes:
It is clear that both Reggin and her fiance are dedicated to their family. We all get that you dissaprove of their living situation, but plugging it on every thread about her family is getting tiresome.
Courts are no longer so closed minded by the way. They take family into consideration, married or not.

I didnt take any offense to her post. I took it like the COURTS may be more lenient if we were married. I didnt get that she disproves. Maybe you just misinterpreted the post.

 

[noludoru]

I didnt take any offense to her post. I took it like the COURTS may be more lenient if we were married. I didnt get that she disproves. Maybe you just misinterpreted the post.

I'd think she misinterpreted if Grammy wasn't saying that in nearly every thread you post. But as it is, it does come off as though she has a problem with your personal life. While apparently that's not what she means by it, before her clarification in this thread that was what I thought as well.