UGH *vent*

[zoe08]

I am one of those that rarely goes out with my kids alone. #1, during the day I also have my nephew, and strapping 3 kids in and out of the car is not fun, especially considering we barely fit all 3 in the backseat. #2, I get frazzled and stressed easy, and I also get distracted easy....so I may get distracted by something at the store, and then my 11 month old tries to climb out of the seat in the basket!

A couple weeks ago I took both kids to Walmart because DH was working late and we had no food, I was already hungry, so I went to the store to get taco stuff and a few other things, I let Mason pick out some ice cream, then while I was in line to check out, I realized I forgot tortillas, and we were having tacos! But at that point it was too late because the lady was already checking us out, and I couldn't just leave the kids in the cart to run fast and grab some. Then I get to the parking lot and go to turn the car on, and I come back to the cart to find Mason leaning over with blood pouring out of his nose. I grabbed my wipes out of the baby's diaper bag, and only had 1 left and his nose was bleeding bad, it was a 100 degrees and I had ice cream melting in the cart! I was so frazzled. So I try not to take them out for "necessary" things like grocery shopping or doctors appointments unless DH is there, or I can take 1 kid at a time!

I am however trying to take the kids out at least 1-2 times a week now to story time or the museum. Before I would rarely leave the house at all during the day with the kids. But they play outside A LOT with the neighbor kids. Practically everyday, so it's not like they are stuck inside all day everyday.

We also go out to eat as a family a lot, so my kids do know how to behave in a restaurant. I just don't take them out by myself that much.

What we all can handle, and what we even want to handle is different! I have some friends who literally take their kids out everyday of the week to different activities, parties, stores, etc. I like to get out, but I certainly couldn't handle having to go out and do something every day.

 

[Renee750il]

he stays firm but he confesses to me that he feels REALLY bad lol.

Hannah is tender though lol.

And he's getting tenderized, lol. The older she gets, the harder it's going to be on him. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost


But I know how good he's got it and how happy he is with the two females in his life

 

[ihartgonzo]

Honestly, I'm afraid that I will be that person.

I have a lot of anxiety/OCD about "getting ready". I have to do the same routine or my day is miserable. Like when I went to high school ALL 4 YEARS, I had to wake up at 4 am to get to school at 8 am. It took me that long to get ready, and I was always worried I'd forget something, and I would redo my makeup and hair, and I would be late if I woke up later. I can usually get that down to 2 hours now but I can't imagine getting ready while caring for an infant/toddler and getting him ready too! I'm definitely going to have to do some stuff to speed up my getting ready time, but beyond that, I am comfortable being out and about with a child.

My little brother was a MANIAC as a toddler. He would be running around a restaurant, screaming and pulling off tableclothes. 0_0 My stepmom would always make me wrangle him, so I have a lot of experience with that. I was able to calm him down and keep him entertained. My Dad & Stepmom even sat in first class, and made 14 year-old me and my 2 year-old brother sit in coach, on an 8 hour flight to Hawaii!

 

[sparks19]

And he's getting tenderized, lol. The older she gets, the harder it's going to be on him. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost


But I know how good he's got it and how happy he is with the two females in his life

LOL that is one reason why I am head disciplinarian. Plus I am with her all day everyday. One thing we don't allow and never will allow is for her to play us against each other. Like she can't ask me and then go ask him when I say no. He is very good about checking with me to make sure she didn't ask me first lol

Ihartgonzo... You could luck out. Hannah likes structure. She likes to do things just the way she did it the day before. She likes to start her mornings the same way, brush her teeth the same way, etc etc. she likes to have a plan and know what to expect for the next day and the next day and next week lol. She needs to be prepared and structured which is total
Opposite of me lol so I had to really learn how to be structured and do pre planning lol. I like to fly by the seat of my pants haha

 

[Dizzy]

My Dad & Stepmom even sat in first class, and made 14 year-old me and my 2 year-old brother sit in coach, on an 8 hour flight to Hawaii!

Seriously?!!! That is beyond bad parenting!!! No wonder he was manic. Trust me, if you actually spend QUALITY time with your kids they'll be a lot easier to handle.

 

[puppydog]

We saw the most horrible thing last night. A guy had his 2 kids in the bar part of the place we were eating. They were being right royal pains, over stimulated and over tired.

He leaned down and screamed at the toddler "can't you F'ing entertain yourself". Paul freaked at this point and I nearly hid under the table.

 

[ihartgonzo]

Seriously?!!! That is beyond bad parenting!!! No wonder he was manic. Trust me, if you actually spend QUALITY time with your kids they'll be a lot easier to handle.

Haha yes!!! My Mom was so angry when I told her about that. However, raising him gave me very good training on how to occupy and care for children, so at least I'm more prepared now. It also taught me that I will NEVER have a hyper, obnoxious, rude child, no matter what. But he behaved well with me and I was more of a parent to him than his Mom ever was. My Dad is a good parent but he's EXTREMELY whipped by her, and extremely over-stressed from his job (he owns an insurance company... it really is hell on earth). He was also 52 when my little brother was born and never planned on having another child. I feel really bad for my little bro. He is living proof that all of the money and privileges in the world cannot buy a stable upbringing.

OMG Puppydog, that is so sad. Some one needs to call his wife, or CPS or something.

 

[puppydog]

I think the wife is out of the picture. It was clear it was his night with kids and he was less then pleased about it.

 

[JoLeigh]

I got pregnant when I was 19 and was beyond unprepared and did NOT want to be a mom. Renee I dont know how much of this you know but I am sure you got the jest of my mood on FB those days. The fact that I have a terrible pregnancy, with preeclampsia, gallstones, ect didnt help to be honest we were going to do adoption and up till I was in labor at the hospital that was the plan and we would have gone through with it if not for my fiance.

And now I couldn't be happier I LOVE being a mom I had kind of an epiphany after I almost died on the table (emergency c-section) and hearing him cry brought me back. I completely agree about faking it till it becomes real it is not fair to the child otherwise and it is not their fault they are in the world and with you. And even if it IS hard you need to suck it up and deal with it because in the end it is your decision. Talking only about doing the necessities not other fun type things things. But someone like that wouldnt make me NEAR as mad as the "parents" Ive dealt with recently.

My fiance worked with these two guys one of their girlfriends had the two boys and was drinking (alcoholic) and let the 3 year old fall down 2 stairs and he cracked his front two teeth and had to get them pulled, the other just had a baby a few months ago and when the baby was 2-3 weeks old had her taken away for leaving her in a turned off car when it was in the upper 90's here so she could buy meth.

I seriously think I have the best 1 year old boy ever he is rarely ever fussy, is GREAT about sleeping (has slept through the night since he was 3 months old). During the week we dont really take him any were but during the weekend he comes shopping, goes to peoples houses the only issue is he is picky about people he likes men more then women and LOVES kids especially girls he is such a flirt haha.

 

[sparks19]

I don't think not taking your kids to the grocery store equates with being a bad parent. Half the time kids don't enjoy going grocery shopping anyway lol. hannah does but she likes anything that gets her around people (plus they have these nifty carts with cars on the front that she can ride in lol)

What Puppydog witnessed is what makes someone a bad parent. We saw something like this at Disney world one time. Kid was in his stroller and was tired and over stimulated (this is why I ALWAYS preach the afternoon break lol) and the dad got right in the kids face and was SCREAMING... I mean veins popping out of his head screaming and shaking the stroller. that poor kid must have been terrified

I have lost my cool with Hannah before and hollered and have even given her a smack on the butt but I don't get people who threaten their kids, swear at them and absolutely terrify them

 

[yoko]

And that goes for ANYPLACE, not just the store -- especially restaurants. If parents don't want to deal with their own kids in a restaurant (or anyplace, for that matter), hire a sitter, don't leave it to everyone else in the place to deal with your little hellion. Sure, even the best behaved kid can have an off day, or just get a wild hair, and most of us understand, but what I refuse to be understanding about:hail: is when the parent ignores it or even sits there and laughs at it when their kid is inflicting themselves on others.

:hail: :hail:

i always did lol. Morgan likes to lay on them belly down and spin.

After Jeremys accident last year him Morgan and I were in the hospital one night and he kept walking it around the trauma room we were in (4 pts to a room with just curtains) everyone thankfully didnt care if he "visited" they all thought he was cute pushing the stool around and at 2 AM I was too tired to try and do much.

I don't mean to come across as the child hating b¡Tch here but could you not take her home?

That seems insanely rude.

 

[Kilter]

I think it's a generation of parents that are lazy and either don't want to do the work, or don't know any better.

Not all parents but a good chunk of them.

From the teen mom who brought her kid to my dayhome at 4, in a stroller, then complained that I didn't do a lot of outings with him (getting him to walk down the sidewalk to the park, and not go pull flowers, ring doorbells, damage things or worse run into the street was a battle!!!), to the hoverparents down the street who wonder why their kid is so needy, to the mom around the corner who never speaks to her kid yet blames the school and everyone else for not being able to handle him.... there's a lot of messed up adults in our future.


DH has needed some parenting training but is getting better, he's one of those parents that tends to not supervise the kids as much as he should. But he's quickly learning that the aftermath (like primer all over the deck) isn't worth it.... lol

 

[darkchild16]

I got pregnant when I was 19 and was beyond unprepared and did NOT want to be a mom. Renee I dont know how much of this you know but I am sure you got the jest of my mood on FB those days. The fact that I have a terrible pregnancy, with preeclampsia, gallstones, ect didnt help to be honest we were going to do adoption and up till I was in labor at the hospital that was the plan and we would have gone through with it if not for my fiance.

And now I couldn't be happier I LOVE being a mom I had kind of an epiphany after I almost died on the table (emergency c-section) and hearing him cry brought me back. I completely agree about faking it till it becomes real it is not fair to the child otherwise and it is not their fault they are in the world and with you. And even if it IS hard you need to suck it up and deal with it because in the end it is your decision. Talking only about doing the necessities not other fun type things things. But someone like that wouldnt make me NEAR as mad as the "parents" Ive dealt with recently.

My fiance worked with these two guys one of their girlfriends had the two boys and was drinking (alcoholic) and let the 3 year old fall down 2 stairs and he cracked his front two teeth and had to get them pulled, the other just had a baby a few months ago and when the baby was 2-3 weeks old had her taken away for leaving her in a turned off car when it was in the upper 90's here so she could buy meth.

I seriously think I have the best 1 year old boy ever he is rarely ever fussy, is GREAT about sleeping (has slept through the night since he was 3 months old). During the week we dont really take him any were but during the weekend he comes shopping, goes to peoples houses the only issue is he is picky about people he likes men more then women and LOVES kids especially girls he is such a flirt haha.

Thats my life to a t. Except I was the single 19 y/o and no c-section but came close to it.

Im now 24 with a AMAZING almost 5 year old and 2 other kids LOL.

:hail: :hail:





I don't mean to come across as the child hating b¡Tch here but could you not take her home?

That seems insanely rude.

because my husband needed to be there, couldnt be left alone and no one could watch Morgan. Believe me I wasnt enjoying it either and profusly apologized until they called him over there to hang out with them and were doting on him.....

Its not like I can make my husband drive home when he couldnt even walk to the car and the nurse and I had to put him in it. Plus you cant very well leave a 15 mth old at home alone.

 

[boneyjean]

I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a 1 yr old. Last year when I first had Coop, I was worried how I would ever go anywhere by myself with both of them again b/c Devin was still a little on the wild untrusted in public side. Heck, she still can be. I try to encourage independence, but I also insist that certain rules be met, especially in a public setting. I decided that it was worth it to me to invest in a double stroller. I did tons of research to find what I thought would work best for us, and wouldn't cost an arm and a leg, and would get us through until we no longer needed a stroller.

Both of mine like to get out of the house a lot, so the threat that we won't go in, or we will leave right now is enough to make Devin mind me. Her fight is usually about sitting in the stroller or shopping cart. I insist though because I can't enjoy a "shopping trip" with them if I am trying to keep up with her. Our trips are places like Costco or Target though. For a long time I have planned things like the zoo or park late on a Friday afternoon while Coop is still at school but I can leave a little early from work. Now that he is more interested and totally mobile though I will take him with us to those types of things.

I am attempting to take them both to the park this weekend for the first time since Coop wasn't a tiny baby I could wear. I am super nervous. I have decided I am going to take them to a smaller scale park instead of the big one we normally go to that requires me to help Devin more. That way I can focus on Coop, and watch Devin and there isn't as much ground for her to be where I can't see her. I am hoping this works out bc she has been begging to go for months!!! I am going to have to be very strict with her there though that she is not allowed to run off and needs to stay within a certain distance of Coop and I, or we will leave immedietly...and mark my words, we will!

I do think each parent and each child are very different. My cousin has two children, one who is 6 and one who is Coop's age, and he refuses to take them both out alone. My husband works on the weekends so I have no choice unless I want to stay home, and I am so not a homebody so I just find a way to make it work!

I will say, I use a lot of "threats and bribes" with mine....but getting to go along with mommy to do things is a priviledge as far as my kids are concered. Coop is too young to understand, but Devin behaves bc she wants to go and knows she won't get to if she doesn't. It works for Devin and motivates her to act appropriately so that she can also benefit from what we are doing. The threats are usually leaving if the desired behavior isn't met, and the bribes are usually us getting to do something fun that we are already planning to do.

 

[sparks19]

Oh... By threatening I meant parents who are like "shut the eff up or i am going to beat you" sort of threat. Like the guy we saw at disney world or the guy puppydog described

 

[-bogart-]

Oh... By threatening I meant parents who are like "shut the eff up or i am going to beat you" sort of threat. Like the guy we saw at disney world or the guy puppydog described

i threaten all the time actually , BUT it is in a joking manner , with just enough edge to voice for them to know to knock it off.

Kinda like the dog threat thread a couple days ago.

"Caleb if you dont stop annoying ya sis I am going to beat you within an inch of your life" He gets the point. They all do actually.

They know when they yelling and treatening stops and I talk normal and have eye contact , then **** just got SERIOUS!




I would never yell in my childrens face like that though , all my yelling is across the house because they just have to pick on each other in the room i am not in , and they wait until i am occupied and cant run when they start up.


If i feel like I am about to flip my **** i stand at the door and smoke a joe while whomever is crying/fighting/whining/being bad until i can control myself.

 

[sparks19]

Right .... I am talking about peoplewho genuinely threaten and terrify their children and I don't mean scared of being disciplined but genuinely scare for their safety

 

[~Jessie~]

i threaten all the time actually , BUT it is in a joking manner , with just enough edge to voice for them to know to knock it off.

Kinda like the dog threat thread a couple days ago.

"Caleb if you dont stop annoying ya sis I am going to beat you within an inch of your life" He gets the point. They all do actually.

Well now, THAT is classy!

The dog threats are funny, since they can't speak English. If I tell my dogs I'm going to take them to the pound or what not, they have no idea what I'm saying.

I couldn't imagine speaking to my kids like that, joking or not.

Wow

 

[-bogart-]

Right .... I am talking about peoplewho genuinely threaten and terrify their children and I don't mean scared of being disciplined but genuinely scare for their safety

i know what ya meant , just sayin! LOL

 

[-bogart-]

Well now, THAT is classy!

The dog threats are funny, since they can't speak English. If I tell my dogs I'm going to take them to the pound or what not, they have no idea what I'm saying.

I couldn't imagine speaking to my kids like that, joking or not.

Wow

hahahahaha I just knew you would chime in . I really dont care what you think so go ahead think i am a MONSTER!!!!!!!!!! My children have a sense of humor
and LEGASP a brain to figure it out! lol

Now que in your mini me to tell me how horrid i am , i got the popcorn ready!