Too much attention ?

[JR0579]

Whenever I am home, Roy is always whining, whimpering and pacing to attract my attention. He brings his ball to me to play. He doesn't settle down quietly. I do give him a lot of attention when I am home to make up for the time he's left alone when I am at work. I take him for walks or to the dog park when the weather permits or just play with him in the basement and I take him for car rides whenever possible. My issue is , my wife tells me that he never whines, whimpers or paces when she and Roy are alone at home. He'll either entertain himself, lie down at her feet chewing on a bone or simply sleep. My wife doesn't give him as much attention as I do. She is more of a cat person. My questions are :

1. Am I giving Roy too much attention?
2. Why is he calmer when I am not home ?


Thanks

 

[YorkieLover]

I think he considers you his ultimate buddy and wants to spend as much time with you doing things when your home versus lying around like when your wifes home. It's almost like my children and their grandparents. My son when he's at their house knows that if just grandma is there he is going to be fed maybe play a game and thats it... If grandpa is home there will be lots of wrestling, horseplay etc. Does that make sense?

 

[Doberluv]

If your wife doesn't pay as much attention to him and he isn't making these demands on her, he is probably seeing her as more his leader than you. He is acting out and you are most likely reacting. In other words, what you need to do, to be a clearer leader is to be the one who acts and the dog is the one who reacts. You need to ignore this whining and be the instigator of games on your terms as well as give some commands that he needs to react to and comply with. Don't give in to whining....don't give any reaction. It can escalate whereby the dog is viewing himself as the one who orchestrates things. Leaders act. Followers react.

 

[RedyreRottweilers]

The dog is manipulating you.

Stop allowing this behavior. Stop indulging him. Schedule time with him for training and exercise.

When he starts this rubbish, put him on a down stay, and enforce it.

 

[Angelique]

I agree with the fact that your dog is manipulating you and that keeping the "action/reaction" sequence in mind is very important.

Wouldn't hurt to give your dog a job to do, either. Long walks with the addition of a backpack can be very helpful as it both gives your dog a job of "carrying", and will also take his energy level down.

I would also recommend keeping your voice low and remaining calm while interacting with your dog on a daily basis. No huge greeting when you come home, and no long farewells when you leave. Remember, as leader, you set the tone for these interactions, not your dog.

The down/stay is a good indoor exercise. I use a tether myself, to help keep control of the dog, so you aren't "reacting" to them moving out of this position so much. No need to be "mean", just firm and matter of fact.

 

[Samio]

I agree with RedyreRottweilers. My husky was like that too, he would jump all over everyone who enters the room and everyone would pet back and use their puppy voice. I stopped this by ignoring him when I enter the room. I let him jump to me and whine but I just ignore him and don't even look at him. As soon as he sits and is quiet, I pet him and show him some love. Now he just stares at me anxiously if he hasn't seen me in a while but never whines are bugs me. He still does it to everyone else though and they still give him all the attention he asks for.

 

[LabMumSF]

Your dog is calmer when you're not at home because he doesn't get attention on demand from your wife. If you'd like it to go away, just ignore him completely whenever he tries to get your attention. Don't even make eye contact. Don't talk to him or push him away - just do NOTHING. Pretend he isn't even there. He'll try harder before he stops, because this has worked for him before, but soon he WILL stop. I also found the following articles very helpful in dealing with this:

http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm

http://www.shirleychong.com/keepers/mindgames.html

 

[JR0579]

Great advice .... thanks to all. I think I'll have to change my ways. I was feeling guilty for leaving for long periods of time, being at work, and that's what got me pampering him

Thanks again ... much appreciated