Think I've screwed up...

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

Shadow is now 25 weeks old (6 months) and I think I've made a tactical error in her training.

When we first got shadow I was in the dark about training her, I got loads of books out of the library cos I wanted to get out of the dark. Then I found this website. I've been using the NILIF (is that right? nothing in life is free) to train her, works great, I have no problem getting her to respond to me, she listens, and she's great with me. But only me.

My boyf lee decided when we got shadow he only wanted one person doing things, so as not to confuse the dog, me being in the dark at the time thought this was a good idea, now I realise he was just being a lasy git! So I feed her, groom her, train her, play with her, walk her. Lee always comes with me when I walk her but I always hold the leash.

My problem is shadow wont listen to lee, she bites (only mouthing, quite hard thou) him when she's playing, and is just a monster to him, barks all the time at him, until I have enough and I go and stop her, tell her "sssshhhh" (thats how I calm her down) or give her a toy to chew on instead. She's not acting in an agressive way when she sees him, never has ever, its more like she's bullying him?

There are a few problems here, lee wouldnt listen to me when I was training her, he'll shout at her when she's being naughty (she thinks she's playing) and he doesnt follow any of my advice, and I dont help because half the time I wont let him train her cos I think he'll do it wrong, Im quite over-bearing I suppose.

How do I get shadow to listen to lee? You have to remember here, everytime I try to tell lee that he need to do something "this" way instead of "that" way, he just rolls his eyes. He wont listen. Man, I need help on training my boyf not shadow!!

I feel out of my depth here, I cant see a way out of this and its doing my head in. I really dont want this to continue, lee says she's not like this when its just to two of them. dont know if thats got anything to do with it.

Just a bit more info on shadow, shes a female staff, she knows her basic commands: sit, off, down, paw, up, come (sometimes come, but i've just read a thread on this by doberluv, so I wont be doing come anymore until I can reinforce it and reward it). She's always been very well behaved, she's been socialised as much as I could since 12 weeks, with dogs and people, i had people coming to visit form 8 weeks on. But now she's starting to jump up on people when we go for walks. Is she too young to be going through her "teenager" phase, I feel like she's delibrately trying to see what she can get away with.

Please help, feel free to PM me if you dont want to post.

Thanks

Rach

P.S sorry for the long post

 

[Doberluv]

It definitely sounds like your b.f. needs the training. And it sounds like you've done wonderfully with your dog. Most dogs will tend to listen best to their main care giver or "leader." That's just the way they are. The reason Shadow may respond better to Lee when you're not around is because at those times, he is the only care giver. If he would do some of the care and training of the dog, the dog would tend to respect him better, but only if he does things in a respectful manner. If he is not willing to work with you on keeping your dog on track, happily learning, then one of them will either need to go, or one of them will not be very trained, happy or have the best relationship with you.

Perhaps you can try clicker training your b.f. Everytime you see him (on the off chance) treating the dog nicely, reward him. Withhold all reward and attention if he treats the dog in a counterproductive way. LOL. (I just dumped a b.f. who mistreated (abused) his own dog) If anyone ever mistreated my dog, they'd be out on their ear in a split of a second. I'd personally give your b.f an ultimatum....either work with you and take your advice from what you've learned or.........(but, you'll have to give him a chance to try a few things like sit before he feeds, sit before he goes outside, walk nicely on a leash and get a treat for it, a few tricks maybe) One person, (probably you) should do most of the training so as not to confuse the dog, but a few tasks here and there should help the dog see your bf as his leader too, even though you will be more the leader. But again...only if he deserves respect and treats the dog kindly, firmly, fairly and rewards for wanted behavior.

Let us know how things go. Best wishes.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

It definitely sounds like your b.f. needs the training.

Perhaps you can try clicker training your b.f. Everytime you see him (on the off chance) treating the dog nicely, reward him. Withhold all reward and attention if he treats the dog in a counterproductive way. LOL.

ROFL! That is so funny!

Thanks for the advice Doberluv, I really respect the advice you give.

I read the thread about your ex who put his dog in the trash can. If lee ever did anything like that he'd be out, I suppose its easy for me to say that thou, we've been together for nearly 5 years now and we're getting married in 2007!

Im gona work with lee and try and get him to listen to me more....... Mind you figuring out the meaning of life might be easier than getting a man to listen!

 

[Doberluv]

Mind you figuring out the meaning of life might be easier than getting a man to listen!

LOL! You can say that again.

Thanks for your nice words.

Yes, if he respects you, he'll come around and work with you to please you. It should be no skin off his nose to go along with your program.

Congrats on your upcoming marraige. He must be quite a guy...that you've been together this long.

 

[Gempress]

LoL! Clicker training the man! Well..hmm, maybe that would work. They do have a very high food drive.

But anyways, he does need to work with Shadow. In my experience, it's best if the dog trains with every member of the family. Tell your BF if he doesn't work with Shadow, he'd better get used to being a chew toy, LoL.

 

[Doberluv]

They do have a very high food drive.

That's not the drive I have in mind.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

That's not the drive I have in mind.

Oh god let not GO there! I'd rather leave him untrained!!

 

[Whitedobelover]

well personally i think that you should have your bf train with the dog also... because if you dont it could cause major problems...

 

[Angelique]

That's not the drive I have in mind.

ROFLMAO!

OH! Be careful about giving too much advice on this one, the "wording" can get tricky!

And then there is always the "beer drive", which sometimes gets out of hand. Although... it CAN render some human males more susseptable to suggestion.

 

[Dizzy]

Staff - you should have been watching the TV series on BBC2 - Train my husband or something like that. A professional dog trainer was showing women techniques to use on their men!

lol

 

[aurorab]

Ha! I need that too. We have a new puppy. My hubby said that he would do all the training. I wanted to do some so that he would also listen to me. No I have been doing most of the training. Plus my hubby plays w/ him w/ his hands so that the puppy growls and nips toward his hands. I have been trying to get him to stop b/c now the puppy wants to nip at my hands. It's fine for my hubby's hard hands but Not mine and not around kids. So I have to work on training my hubby. When he had dogs in the past it was only him. We don't have kids right now but we are thinking of them and I don't waant to teach him anything bad.
I know it's har (believe me!) but lee really needs to learn how to work w/ shadow in the right way. And yes you have to train him as well as shadow.... shadow will be easier to train (sorry guys, but true), dogs aren't as stubborn as men. I'd say get him to read those books to start out but if he is anything like my hubby he knows all and doesn't need any stinking books.
Good luck.

 

[Doberluv]

dogs aren't as stubborn as men

You got that right! LOL.

Yes, your hubby needs to stop letting puppy chew and bite his hands...needs to or puppy will think that's ok to be rough with anybody. And it can turn into biting but not play biting later on. So, that habit needs to stop.

Some men are incredibly stubborn. But sometimes they're only using stubborness as a front...deep inside they may know you're right, but already said that they're right and don't want to lose face. So if you can make it seem like it's his idea, sometimes that can help. You could say, "How would you go about it, dear hubby, to keep puppy from continuing the biting when he's older. What could we do?" LOL. Maybe, with a miracle, he might say, "Well....we should probably nip this in the bud." LOL. Good luck!

 

[Angelique]

I'd say get him to read those books to start out but if he is anything like my hubby he knows all and doesn't need any stinking books.
Good luck.

I'm sure if he had his way, those books would end up laying next to the pile of dusty road maps! LOL!

One of the things Cesar Millan mentioned at his seminar, is that it is a wise man who learns to be submissive to his wife! I gave him some points for that one!

As I mentioned in another thread, I have a lot of "stuff" to say on this subject! Older grown men are rather hard to "rehabilitate". However, I have been more successful with the younger ones. At least 10 very messed up young men from the ages of 16 to 27 have passed through my home over the years. As a house mom, I don't date them, just help them get back on track. This is done mostly with attitude and my own human version of NILIF.

I'll bet that show about training men with canine methods is a riot! A dog should repect you, yet not fear you...no matter how many legs they have!

OH, don't get me started!

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

Staff - you should have been watching the TV series on BBC2 - Train my husband or something like that. A professional dog trainer was showing women techniques to use on their men!

lol

i did see that i thought it was hilarious.

 

[Mikey27X834]

If your boyfriend won't do what you say, then there isn't a lot you can do. Try and emotionally black mail him in some way, to get him to do what you say is best..

 

[Angelique]

If your boyfriend won't do what you say, then there isn't a lot you can do. Try and emotionally black mail him in some way, to get him to do what you say is best..

How about some positive reinforcement instead? What is something that he reeally, reeally likes? Remember, keep the reward out of sight until he earns it!

Okay guys, I stand ready to be deleted...but, I'm having a giggle-fest at the same time! I couldn't find that show on the BBC, yet. But, I'm still a'lookin'!

Doberluv, we need to write a book.

 

[Renee750il]

dogs aren't as stubborn as men.

. . . .

Okay. I really can't say what I almost said, lol!

 

[Doberluv]

Okay. I really can't say what I almost said, lol!

A-w-w...com'n Rene. Don't be a party pooper! LOL.

Doberluv, we need to write a book.

Definitely...

How to brainwash the man in your life, using clicker training.

A revolutionary guide to re-invented training methods based on operant and classical conditioning.

New York Times: The best advice since Frued and Dr. Spock. You'll die laughing and you won't even know you're being trained while you read this book. Before you know it, you'll have all the men in your life eating kibble out of your hands, among other things.

Washington Post: A must read. True life stories with a flare and a twist you've never seen in print before...a real page turner which you won't be able to put down until you've turned the last page and are thoroughly ready to start on your man.

 

[Old Dog]

Is it true you can't teach an "Old" dog new tricks........LOL I know one thing this Ole' Dog will never house break another one....... and I'm not talking of the canine variety. Just have to be me and my dogs how peaceful!!!!!

 

[Doberluv]

ROFLOL Old Dog! That's exactly what my boyfriend said and then the next thing he said was he would like to marry me. ROFLOL. No cotton pickin way!