I am so tired. Just physically and mentally done. I am tired of putting everyone else first, of shouldering everything for everyone else. Why can't someone put me first, ever?
I am so tired of hearing everyone around me talk about their problems, their aches and pains, their troubles.... and not once does anyone ever ask me "Are you okay?" I feel invisible. And honestly, I'm normally fine with that. I smile, I laugh, I pretend I am happy and nothing bothers me but... it's exhausting. And then I feel guilty because I am having a 30 second pity party when I am normally the "brush it off and move on" person.
Some of the stuff is just so petty. Like, why can't we ever eat what I want to eat? Or why can't Jeff just take the dogs out ONE FREAKING TIME and let me relax? Sure, they're my dogs and all that, but if you know your significant other is exhausted, don't you EVER think "hey, this would be nice if I did this for her?" But then again, no, because NO ONE EVER PUTS ME FIRST.
Maybe a good night's sleep would help me, but I can't get that because I'm always worrying about crap that I should let someone else worry about.
I just want a vacation, from everyone and everything. I don't even want to be around me right now.