Still greiving?

[dogsarebetter]

How long did you grieve when a special dog crossed the rainbow bridge? I lost Chance back in September and I think I am still grieving. I think about him all the time, and I talk about him almost daily. But I am not really sad most of the time. Its just a sort of lonely feeling. He is just fresh on my mind like he is still with me. Sometimes I come home still expecting Chance to greet me. I have loads of pictures on the wall that I look at everyday. I have been thinking about taking them down so that maybe I will not think about him so much. I even have dreams about him every night. I can see him again, and play ball with him. He looks up at me with those big eyes and paws at my leg just like he used to do when he was with me. I wake up to snuggle with him, and he is not there.

I wonder when I will stop dreaming about him and thinking about him all of the time. I really do think that its hurting my bonding with Lynn (new pup) I keep catching myself giving Ruckus a lot more attention, and putting some distance between Lynn and I. I dont mean to do it....

 

[bubbatd]

I still grieve each one for their special reasons ....especially my Bubba .

 

[smkie]

yeah me too Grammy. IT takes time..but don't short your new puppy. Let your love from your past give to the future, not drive it away.

 

[bubbatd]

So true .... with IB , it brought me Chip and Chip brought me Ollie .

 

[joce]

I still think about my childhood lab that passed away about twelve years ago. Its not a breaking the heart pain but just an occasional why can't they still be here thing. I know when I was little my mom worried because I didn't just forget after a couple months like most kids! What helped then was getting my beagle ginger who turned out to be abbey my lab in a smaller body-I swear they couldn't have been more alike.

With my beagle that passed last year I think I was more willing to let her go because she had been in such horrible pain and I wanted her to not feel that any more. Most of the hurt I felt over her passing was directed at cancer. I still miss her-but its not the pain that was there in the beginning. I still cry at rainbow bridge poems, occasionally feel sad when I see my sig pic(shes still in it-don't have the heart to change it now). For me I think getting a new animal is what helps-not sure if thats the healthy way to do it but its what works for me.

Grieving is different for everyone. But if you think its been to long and its affecting your relationship with your other dogs then change things a bit for a couple months. Take down the pics of him and things that really remind you of him. I have gingers bed hidden in the laundry room and while her ashes are on the fireplace I still don't have a pic of her up there. There is a point were you have grieved to much and your brain can actually adjust to that feeling and its hard to overcome. But four months isn't that long-I'd still be upset to.

Remember you don't have to forget him. Dreaming about him isn't bad-You just have to try to look at the dreams a different way and maybe it will make it easier.

 

[Dekka]

I lost Riven (horse but very much a pet) this spring. Tears still come to my eyes (are now just typing this) thinking about her.

 

[homemadetreats]

I don't think you ever really stop grieving. You learn to cope that's all.

 

[SisMorphine]

I lost Wally in August. I still cry almost daily. I still can't look at pictures of him.

 

[RedyreRottweilers]

My heart goes out to each of you who is still actively grieving a loss, whatever it may be.

For me, this is the best statement so far in this thread, and so very true.

I don't think you ever really stop grieving. You learn to cope that's all.

((hugs))

 

[bubbatd]

Pictures and memories help me . When I lost Chip EliN gave me a little Golden angel that sits above my computer . Gives me peace and acceptance.

 

[Doberluv]

For me, this is the best statement so far in this thread, and so very true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by homemadetreats
I don't think you ever really stop grieving. You learn to cope that's all.

Me too Red.

I am so sorry RAB. I know how you feel. I still haven't learned to cope 100% for my Dobe, Lyric. I lost him a year ago Dec. 9th. I just haven't been quite the same since. I still cry sometimes and like you, think about him every day in just about everything I do and talk about him a lot. Everything reminds me of him and he won't leave my mind. Walks and hikes aren't as fun as they were. In fact, I don't walk or hike much these days. He was such an integral part of my life, such a special, dynamic dog...more than any other dog I've had that somehow created such an attachment that it's really hard without him. Most everything I did included Lyric in some way. So everything I do practically is associated with him. I've never taken this long to feel better. I know how you must feel. The sharpness of the pain dissapates a little as time goes on. But the memories, although good to recall also seem to make the emptiness linger.

I'm really sorry you feel this pain and hope more acceptance comes your way.

 

[Toller_08]

I still grieve over Tango at times and it's been close to 16 months now. Not as much as I used to maybe (depends on the day, really), but if I look at certain pictures of her (ie: most of them), or if she comes up in conversation for some reason, or sometimes if another dog does something Tango-like... I still get teary. But there are also times that I smile or laugh at the above things, too. Last night I looked through Tango's photo album before bed and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Got a little teary at times, but mostly I just smiled and remembered the days that I took those pictures. I miss her everyday, and I always will, but as was said... it does get easier to cope in time.

 

[RedyreRottweilers]

Well I will say I have not since nor before experienced such grief as I did when Roxy died in 2001. It was completely overwhelming, and absolutely out of my control.

I could not predict, nor control, when I might burst into tears. I sank into depression that probably should have been treated. I second-guessed my decision to euthanize her. For over a year I wept over her frequently. Almost daily. This year, the seventh anniversary of her death, is the first year I have not spent a day grieving and crying over her. I still think of her daily.

It was a crushing loss. I can't think of any other way to describe it.

 

[mrose_s]

I lost Panda, my heart cat, almost 18 months ago, when I posted that picture of him yesterday I ended up in tears, and I am again now.

I still have his picture as the wallpaper on my phone, beside my bed and in my wallet I see him everyday and I miss him constantly.
I will never stop mourning him, I can't, I don't want to.
I suppose it has got easier over time though, its not as raw anymore. I still havn't got to the stage of remembering the good times without crying my eyes out though, so if I'm around people, I just block him out of my head.

 

[noludoru]

I lost Fred (kitten) over the summer, and I've just gotten to the point now where I don't just burst into tears when anyone mentions his name and I can look at pictures of him without sobbing. But.. I'm still grieving, and I still wonder what life would have been like with him around. It's just gotten easier to deal with my grief without bottling it up or wanting to crawl into bed for a few days.

Painting his tombstone helped... I still go out and light candles at his grave, and I can't imagine that I'll ever stop that.

 

[yoko]

it's been a little over a year and i have troublevisiting lady's grave and started crying when we took out stockings and i found hers. i don't think you ever get over it, but i hope it gets easier

 

[AgilityPup]

I lost my first dog, a sheltie, when I was probably 10 at the oldest, and I still miss her to this day. When I first got Zoey, I let my missing Tootsie get between us, and I'm paying for it now. She'll run off from me, and my calling her back has no effect. I assume she doesn't feel as bonded to me (even though she's my girl, and we cuddle, and do agility, and and and and), and I assume that's because when she was a pup, there was a lot of "But she's not Tootsie." from me...

You don't ever stop, it just gets easier and easier to live with.

 

[Alimel]

I lost my Mel in August and I find myself tearing up when I hear the song that was on his video that someone made for me. A friend sent me something for Christmas that was engraved in his memory and I cried every time I tried to tell someone about it.

I miss him, my love for this dog was immense, but I find now I smile when I talk or think about him and look at his photographs. I have to laugh sometimes when I am watching Lola act crazy thinking he would love her and he would put her in her place when she was out of control.

 

[bubbatd]

I hope they know how much we loved them ..............