So Clingy

[iamawesum69420]

Lola has really taken to me and I love that we've bonded so well. The problem is that she's taken to just me a little to much. My boyfriend lives with me and so he's definitely going to be a big part of her life, but she the only way to get her to stay with him for long periods of time is for me to get her to fall asleep first. In a way, I have to rock her to sleep, because she has a hard time falling asleep if she's not with me. Right now, it's not that big of a deal leaving her with him because I will usually sit or lay with her and she will fall asleep and then he has no trouble falling asleep, but I know when she starts to get older she's not going to be sleeping as much and I want her to do more than just cry for me when he's with her.

What's something I can do to get her more comfortable with other people, especially my boyfriend? Should I just let her cry when she cries for me?

 

[Toller_08]

When Tango was a pup, she'd cry, scream and pretty much have a huge temper tantrum if I left her - she was much too bonded to me. I ignored it, as did my mom, and eventually (after about a week) she realized er fits weren't going to get her anywhere in life and she quit. I also had my mom spend a lot of time with her so that she felt comfortable being with her and not just me. I still spent the majority of time with Tango, but not 100% of the time. She and I are still very closely bonded, but she doesn't mind when I leave her anymore as she knows it's alright to stay with someone else and that I'll be coming back later.

If I were in your situation, I'd completely ignore the crying. I wouldn't wait for her to fall asleep before you leave her, and I'd have your boyfriend spend more time with her playing, cuddling, feeding treats to, etc. She needs to learn that you're not going to be the only person in her life and that she will be ok with other people. If you keep going as you are now, you're going to have an adult with major separation anxiety - and that isn't good for you or the dog. I hope that helped somewhat. Hopefully someone more experienced will come along and offer more advice.

 

[Herschel]

I agree with Toller.

In addition, your boyfriend should give her each meal, teach her some some tricks, and take walks with her without you (maybe right before bed or something).

 

[iamawesum69420]

Thanks for the advice guys. I think the hard part is going to get my boyfriend to work with her more.

 

[skyeboxer]

Look at it as another training opportunity. Baby steps.

Definately don't give in to her crying as Toller advised and great advice from Herschel too (as always). But while bearing that in mind also take the time to reassure her that walking out the door doesn't mean you're gone forever.

A couple of times a day take a few minutes to simply step out the door, shut it for a second and walk right back in. Wait a beat or two and repeat. Do it again. Someone else should be in the room obviously so she's not getting into anything naughty. She'll get bored with that soon and you can slowly extend the time you are loitering outside the door.

 

[krisykris]

Bentley cried at first when I got him.. if I left him in the other room with a baby gate he'd howl and whimper.. but I ignored it and when he stopped i'd go in and pet and treat him.