Sleeping with a Dog

Discussion in 'Dog Jokes and Cartoons' started by our_chihuahua's!, Feb 29, 2004.

  1. our_chihuahua's!

    our_chihuahua's! New Member

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    Whoever said, "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs. The first thing you discover when you bring a dog into your bed is the striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.

    Rule #1: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.

    Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the bed, with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.

    Rule #2: The deeper the sleep the louder the dog.

    As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible. Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.

    Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.

    The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, its dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping bodies, or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.

    So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night safe, contented, heavy, and loud. :D :D

    Author Unknown
     
  2. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    That's why the Fila sleeps on the couch!
     
  3. our_chihuahua's!

    our_chihuahua's! New Member

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    lol! All 4 of our Chihuahua's sleep with us! Its a mess!
     
  4. soccerwoofer

    soccerwoofer New Member

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    Heh, my mom put up with that but now Luke sleeps in the laundry room.
     
  5. shredhead (DOG LOVER)

    shredhead (DOG LOVER) Dog Spoiler

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    So true. My Golden Retriever and Miniature Dachshund used to sleep with me until I woke up one day with 4 huge scratch going down my face. Im assuming my dog was kicking in his sleep and my face was in his way. My miniature dachshund also had to sleep on the floor because whenever my foot moved and nudged him, he would wake me up by violently biting my foot. Not fun. Atleast they both have comfortable dog beds to sleep on.
     
  6. sheltiepups

    sheltiepups New Member

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    lol too funny!
     
  7. MEG126

    MEG126 New Member

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    that made me laugh so much! my golden sleeps on my bed with me some of the time, every night during the winter (she keeps me warm!). it's horribly inconvienent when she's not very tired, so she's sitting there panting and it's not that i mind her panting, it's just that the mattress vibrates the whole bed, preventing me from sleeping. i've ended up pushing her off the bed on many occasions due to that.

    when she's a in a deep sleep, she has dreams in which i've decided she's chasing rabbits (she tries to do that on walks :rolleyes:) and she twitches and if the chase is extra exciting, she yelps just a little. sooo funny now but when i'm trying to sleep- i don't find it quite so humorous.

    one of my friends was spending the night one time and we were sleeping in my bed and penny was so upset. she was just like, 'um, excuse me but i believe that's my spot you're sleeping in' and she ends up laying right inbetween us. and my bed isn't big- just a double! lol

    it's pretty obvious i love her since she continues to be allowed to sleep on my bed! ;)
     
  8. olbrent

    olbrent New Member

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    When the whole family is home I have the small pitbull and ancient husky-shephard mix in my bed. Big pitbull with my son and chiuaua with daughter if they are both spending night out I have all four!
     
  9. agilitydobemom

    agilitydobemom agilitydobemom

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    All three of my dogs sleep in my bed my husband don't approve but who asked him anyway lol :D
    two sleep at my sides and one at my feet and by the way the cat is at my head :eek: I don't move when I am sleeping :rolleyes:
     
  10. candy722

    candy722 New Member

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    I wish I can sleep with my dog on the bed but I can't because I get allergic from all the hair.
     
  11. milo

    milo Labrador lover!!!!!

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    lol thst the funniest!!!Lucky only sleeps on my bed when he gets me up ver very early in the mornings!!!
    Oh and Milo sometimes sleeps on my bed when Lucky does!!!! :D
     
  12. chiquitita

    chiquitita New Member

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    My friend's dog sleeps with her. The dog takes about 3/4 of the bed and this is a twin bed. my friend gets about as much space as the size of a pillow.
     

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