Relationship Frustration

[mojozen]

Hey Everyone,
I just need a little bit of "venting to complete strangers" time, I hope no one minds overly much.

I know I saw in one of my last updates that my boyfriend and I are doing fine. That is actually a lie. I posted that then because I was on his computer and he was reading over my shoulder. Truth to tell is we're actually very slowly breaking up.

Why slowly?

Because he has A LOT of seperation anxiety/abandonment issues, he's suicidal, and prone to self-destructive behaviours. Also, I am not one to break up during the holidays because I consider it bad karma. And while i know that anything he chooses to do is not my responsibility I still feel responsible somehow.

Anyway, right now I am just seething with frustration because my bf is leaving for NY tonight - he is driving. And while that's all fine and dandy, he really has no one to take care of his hedgehog Aggie while he is gone. I can't do it, because tomorrow night Mojo and I are getting in a car to drive to my family's home in MI.

The person who said she'd look in on Aggie, isn't answering her phone. So Neil is in a dither and asking me to meet with the girl tomorrow. I'm like "When?! I'm working and then leaving right after to pick up Mojo to get out of Madison." and he doesn't know what to do.

And can he bring in one of my friends? No! Because he thinks that as soon as we break up I am going to go sleep with one of them. Yeah right... I jsut want some alone time with my dog so I can get my life back on track. I don't need another person to care about and take care of.

How about a pet sitting agency? Nope can't do that either. One reason is because it's too late to arrange something and secondly, they might steal Aggie... or all of his possessions.

So all of our relationship issues aside (there are alot - chief among them is I am tired of caring for a 27 year old man who acts like a 3year old prone to temper tantrums). I am right now frustrated because to me that's not responsible pet ownership... and it's making me grind my teeth to know that I am going to end up cleaning up this mess just like i've cleaned up all the others.

I just can't believe this at all. I mean I can but I can't... it's just so frustrating. And I just needed to vent. So there... I've vented.. I'm done.



Thank you.

 

[Angel Chicken]

It's tough being with one of those guys... been there and done that!!

I'm here for ya girl. Do what's best for YOU. If you think that it isn't a healthy relationship for you, then so be it. That may be hard for him to understand, but like I said, do what is best for you.

I hope things work out, and I wish you the best. Have a safe trip back home, too! Most of all, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

 

[Doberluv]

Tell him to take Aggie to a vet and board her or take her with him. Tell him that's his problem, not yours. You have your own plans and you can't take the animal now. Good grief. He does sound completely incapable of being an adult....poor guy. But just like you figured out, you can't be his care taker. That's not a healthy relationship. It just sounds miserable having someone who is so co-dependent. He should get some help. I feel sorry that you're going through this right now. It's always disappointing when you thought it was going to be a good relationship and then as time goes you realize that there is something really wrong with the relationship. I just ended one in June and I feel like a big huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders....yup another one of those clingy, possessive types. Ugggg. He said that I was way too independent. Heck! I told him that in the very beginning. And told him not to try and make me change the way I live my life. "Oh no.....I wouldn't think of it." Yeah right.

So, when you get through the holiday, you're just going to have to do what is best for you. And if he does something stupid, well, you have to know that he may have anyhow at some point in the future whether you were with him or not. That is something in him and you do not have the ability to control that for him. I hope he gets some counselling.

I wish you the very best in clearing this up.

(((hugs)))

 

[bubbatd]

Vent on !!! Anyone who takes on anything that needs care needs to have firm back up .... if there's no one to step in , they should cancel their plans .

 

[Red_ACD_for_me]

I'm sorry that you are going through this . I seperated from my daughters father 3 years ago after being together for 10 years and I have yet to meet someone I truly I have feelings for. I am dating someone right now who has a Bandogge and truth be told I like the dog better. Unfortunately, no matter how old men are they still act like they are 3 years old. That's why I got a dog and am much happier LOL ! I hope things get better for you and when all else fails hug your dog! He will be there till the end

 

[bubbatd]

Dober stated it well ....

 

[Melissa_W]

Ugh, what a terrible situation. I understand wanting to wait until the holidays are over to break up. But after that, you really need to get away from this guy. I hope it turns out okay. Keep us updated.

 

[Dreeza]

It seems like you already know what to do, so good for you

::HUGS:: Hope everything works out for the best.

Just wanted to ask...where in MI are you going?? Have a great trip, and enjoy the holidays!!