Question for women: Would you be a surrogate?

[Rough_Collies2008]

If having children was easy for me, yes, I would...for a sister or possiblya close friend. Right now in my life though, I wouldn't offer. It would be to difficult to assure that I can keep their baby safe and healthy, even with CGM's and my attempt at perfect control...I could still put the baby at risk in the end.

 

[Renee750il]

To never be pregnant has always been a goal of mine

For my sister? Oh HELL NO. I'd tell her AND her doctor that some family lines need to die out. And, with her unstable temper, she never, ever needs to raise a child.

 

[Saje]

Well I only have one sis and seeing as how she's a fertile little bunny I don't see this ever being an issue. lol I can't see myself doing it for anyone but her. But if anyone ever asked I'd give it some serious consideration. There are so many children out there that need loving homes though... I'm leaning towards no.

 

[RD]

Yes.

Nine months of my life is a pittance when it's a good friend's happiness at stake.

 

[mom2dogs]

I would.

 

[Hairy&Stumpy]

No........

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

honestly there is so much to consider beyond even the carrying the child part of this that many people don't really think about.
I would carry a child for my any of my sisters, as long as it was their biological child (egg and sperm from them). But because I have a child with developmental disabilities, and there is no known "cause" of her disabilities...it opens the questions of ...if I carried a child for someone else, and all seemed "ok"--but ended up that there were some difficulties...what would happen?

Scenarios such as this need to be considered. If I was carrying their child, and it was found to have a "problem" in utero--I wouldn't be able to abort, but what if they wanted to? Then who does the child belong to? Who takes responsibility?

Other concerns that come up for those that would be around the child as it is growing up--what if you didn't agree with the way the child was being raised? What if the parents got divorced? I can think of a million questions/scenarios like this.

I still say yes, I would carry a child for any of my sisters. Anyone else...no.

 

[Pam111]

I don't think I could, especially not if my health issues don't get under control because I have had a very difficult pregnancy because of it. I also am at high risk for gestational diabetes. If my health was completely under control so pregnancy was easier for me, it would be a possibilty

 

[Fran101]

if i already had a child and the pregnancy wasnt difficult, then i think i would for a close friend or relative.

 

[noludoru]

Nope. Like Renee.... I never want to be pregnant. Not even if it was to benefit someone else and I wouldn't have to deal with the outcome after 9 or so months.

 

[Miakoda]

Just to clarify things, I'm not talking about usuing your own eggs. It would be 100% biologically their child.

And bmb, you are most definitely correct. We talked for 3 hours straight and I'm sure there are many more scenarios that didn't even get touched on.

 

[vanillasugar]

I've already offered.

Two very close friends of mine, who happen to be gay, want to have children one day. They are aiming to adopt, but I've put the option out there for them that I would be willing to carry a child if they truly wanted it. There of course are conditions on that offer: It can NOT be my first pregnancy. I need to have a child of my own, to truly understand how pregnancy affects not only my body, but me emotionally. I may decide after my first pregnancy that it is not worth it. Also, seeing as they're both men, we'd have to have some serious discussions regarding the egg. And of course, Matt would have to be in 100% agreement with it, and right now he's not so crazy about the idea.

 

[ACooper]

I definitely would for a couple that I know and love. NOT with my eggs, but as long as it's with their own (or an acquired embryo) egg/sperm combo, absolutely, positively yes.

I look at it as the baby "renting an apartment" for 9 months and though I might share a special place in my heart for the child, I don't think I would have one problem handing it over.

For strangers for money? NOWAY.......there's not enough money in circulation to make me want to go through it, but for love........without a doubt

 

[zoe08]

For my sister, yes. For anyone else? No.

 

[anna84]

This would probably be the only reason I'd ever consider going through with a pregnancy. I think I would do it for my sister or a close friend.

 

[Squishy22]

I think I am so open to the idea because I actually enjoy being prego. I guess its a different feeling when its NOT my baby, but I would be giving the ultimate gift for someone I love, and thats what makes it worthwhile.

I do think it might be hard giving up a newborn that you carried inside your stomach for 9 months. You would have to avoid any kind of emotional attachment to the baby while you are carrying him/her. I know I bonded with Madison very much in those 9 months. Not sure how difficult that might be until I am there doing it.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Absolutely. After I've had one of my own, of course.

Adoption is SO expensive. I get the feeling people think it's so much easier when they say "they should just adopt".

I was looking at international adoptions of children with special needs just this last week... anywhere from $15,000 to 30,000 (a couple countries were a bit more). There are health requirements, status requirements, some countries allow single moms (none allow single dads) and some allow same-sex couples to adopt, some require adopted children be in a christian home ONLY. And this requires anywhere from one week to one month of travel time.

Domestic adoptions.. horribly expensive. Anywhere from $20,000 to $65,000 for a child depending on the agency and of course then you have all of the agency requirements, parent requirements, etc. etc..

So, yeah, I'd like to say they should just adopt! Because there ARE many many children who needs home who are already born, but it is not our decision to tell them to go adopt when we don't have any clue what the whole process is like. And, if you don't know what it's like to want to have a child of your own then surely you wouldn't understand a desperate couple who long for nothing more than to hold their own child. Just my .02

 

[Gempress]

^^^I agree with BP. I don't think many people realize how expensive and difficult adoption is. You don't just show up to an agency and say, "Hey, I want a baby!" Foreign adoptions are expensive enough, and domestic adoptions can cost more than a house. On top of that, domestic agencies often require special classes, workshops, home evaluations, etc. Adoptions take literally years to complete and have a lot of legal windings along the way.

That being said, I would absolutely carry a baby for somebody I know and trust. No second thoughts whatsoever. It takes only 9 months of my life, but gives somebody else incredible happiness, and a chance to have what they might not have otherwise.

 

[Punkygirl0101]

Vanillla-I was thinking about the same thing. My best friend is gay, and he wants kids someday. One of his options was for his partner to donate sperm to his sister, and she would carry the baby. But if that didn't work out, there really is only a couple other people (including myself) who could do it. He wants the person to be close to him, not a stranger he goes through an agency with.

I just don't think I could do it. And I also don't want to pregnant. But if I did change my mind, I would first want to have my own kids (And I would only do it if I did end up deciding I wanted children, which currently I don't). And I would have to of made it through the pregnancy without any difficulties, and had an easy delivery, and pretty much have everything go perfect before I would even consider doing it for someone else!!

But for now, its a big no!

 

[Dizzy]

No idea.

I don't think I would if it had serious health implications for myself.

I don't feel to hot about having kids myself yet, never mind for someone else lol

I'm the least broody I've ever been.