Question, chazzers
- Thread starter noludoru
- Start date
I'm beginning to think that it IS a trick question. That, however, wasn't my intent.
Because the NEXT thing someone said, right after I posted this, is that "the clothes were NOT on the carpet, they were in a neat [HA!] pile in front of the door and why can't I stop telling tales."
Amstaffer (your name's Dan, right?) my dad was out in the woods all day, and my mom is highly allergic to poison ivy - he is not. He goes in places that have it, and she has asked him to strip at the door and put the clothes in the washing machine, but instead he left them on the living room floor, on the freshly vacuumed carpet (leaves, sticks, and dirt, anyone?) and I mentioned it to her when she called, and when she came home, she asked him about it - stupid, but whatever - and he immediately told her I was lying.
Because the NEXT thing someone said, right after I posted this, is that "the clothes were NOT on the carpet, they were in a neat [HA!] pile in front of the door and why can't I stop telling tales."
Amstaffer (your name's Dan, right?) my dad was out in the woods all day, and my mom is highly allergic to poison ivy - he is not. He goes in places that have it, and she has asked him to strip at the door and put the clothes in the washing machine, but instead he left them on the living room floor, on the freshly vacuumed carpet (leaves, sticks, and dirt, anyone?) and I mentioned it to her when she called, and when she came home, she asked him about it - stupid, but whatever - and he immediately told her I was lying.
Meh, I've met more men than women that are passive-aggressive if we're going to get into the Gender Olympics to see which one's the worst.. LOL!
I really need to stop venting about him on here..... but UGH. I'm trying not to say ANYTHING to him that isn't absolutely necessary and am not allowing myself to argue with him.. but god, sometimes he's just asking for a verbal bitchslap. A really big one. It's just hard to keep all of that in.
I really need to stop venting about him on here..... but UGH. I'm trying not to say ANYTHING to him that isn't absolutely necessary and am not allowing myself to argue with him.. but god, sometimes he's just asking for a verbal bitchslap. A really big one. It's just hard to keep all of that in.
Why should you stop venting about him here, Nolu? If it keeps you from blowing up . . . and we're here for you.
I haven't run across many passive aggressive men - a few, but not nearly as many as the women. I have, though, run into a lot of passive RESISTANT men. And they're usually hooked up with passive aggressive women. Makes you wonder which came first, the passive aggression or the passive resistance?
But I remember even in school most of the girls were passive aggressive.
I haven't run across many passive aggressive men - a few, but not nearly as many as the women. I have, though, run into a lot of passive RESISTANT men. And they're usually hooked up with passive aggressive women. Makes you wonder which came first, the passive aggression or the passive resistance?
But I remember even in school most of the girls were passive aggressive.
Because it isn't something I feel I should be talking about on a public forum.. in fact, before I joined here that was pretty much my rule.. don't talk about family problems on forums, only with friends.. you all got me to break that one in record time.. only about a year. LOL
The last time I blew up on him it was really ugly, and I don't want to repeat it. I'm already on-edge, depressed, and moody... the last thing I need is for him to say something at the poker game tomorrow night in front of everyone.... if he does, his poker game will be absolutely ruined, because I'm so frazzled I just don't feel like I have the self control to shut up if he makes comments to me or about me. He'll be ripped a new one in front of all his friends.
On one hand, that sounds kinda nice.. letting them all know what an asshat he is.. on the other hand I don't want to ruin anyone's night. Especially not my own. Selfish of me, but still. I'd like to get through tomorrow night with the least amount of trauma as possible.. and since we have 15-20 people coming, I have a feeling that's going to be unavoidable.
The last time I blew up on him it was really ugly, and I don't want to repeat it. I'm already on-edge, depressed, and moody... the last thing I need is for him to say something at the poker game tomorrow night in front of everyone.... if he does, his poker game will be absolutely ruined, because I'm so frazzled I just don't feel like I have the self control to shut up if he makes comments to me or about me. He'll be ripped a new one in front of all his friends.
On one hand, that sounds kinda nice.. letting them all know what an asshat he is.. on the other hand I don't want to ruin anyone's night. Especially not my own. Selfish of me, but still. I'd like to get through tomorrow night with the least amount of trauma as possible.. and since we have 15-20 people coming, I have a feeling that's going to be unavoidable.
Thanks, Renee. 
I was really pissed off at her last night because she was GOING to take Friday off and we were going to go to the pool... and she didn't.. because SHE didn't want to deal with him. So it's okay to leave ME at home alone to deal with him instead, when she'd only have to for however long it took to get our stuff together and leave? ARG. She's taking Tuesday off at least, and I'll be escaping to FOHA on Sunday, so I'll have some time away from him for now.
What really gets me is that after he says all these nasty things, within my hearing, no less, he asks me if I want to go out to dinner or work with him on the trains or something.. um NO. WTF does he think the answer's going to be? As if he hasn't hurt me enough already, he just has to add more hate onto it all, and then expect me to beg for his forgiveness.... no.. no no no.
It makes me wonder who ****ed him up so badly that he thinks it's acceptable for him to act this way.
And to tell you the truth, another reason I feel like I should stop talking about it is.. yeah, my dad has been treating me terribly.. but other peoples' parents/relatives have treated them worse. I feel like I don't have anything legitimate to complain about and I ought to just shut up. I think I've internalized a bit too much, because it's crazy to feel that way... but I do.
I was really pissed off at her last night because she was GOING to take Friday off and we were going to go to the pool... and she didn't.. because SHE didn't want to deal with him. So it's okay to leave ME at home alone to deal with him instead, when she'd only have to for however long it took to get our stuff together and leave? ARG. She's taking Tuesday off at least, and I'll be escaping to FOHA on Sunday, so I'll have some time away from him for now.
What really gets me is that after he says all these nasty things, within my hearing, no less, he asks me if I want to go out to dinner or work with him on the trains or something.. um NO. WTF does he think the answer's going to be? As if he hasn't hurt me enough already, he just has to add more hate onto it all, and then expect me to beg for his forgiveness.... no.. no no no.
It makes me wonder who ****ed him up so badly that he thinks it's acceptable for him to act this way.
And to tell you the truth, another reason I feel like I should stop talking about it is.. yeah, my dad has been treating me terribly.. but other peoples' parents/relatives have treated them worse. I feel like I don't have anything legitimate to complain about and I ought to just shut up. I think I've internalized a bit too much, because it's crazy to feel that way... but I do.
What you endure and what other people endure doesn't have any basis for comparison. You're entitled to your feelings and what he is doing is HORRIBLE. It's abuse, pure and simple, whether it's physical or not.
Emotional abuse can wound just as deeply as physical abuse. Really, it's the emotional abuse that's tied to the physical abuse that often leaves some of the worst scars. The confusion that these abusers generate in your own mind . . . that somehow something is wrong with YOU, rather than them, that YOU are doing something terrible to THEM, to force them to do to you whatever their particular choice of cruelty is . . . Your dad's treatment that you're describing is classic, even if he doesn't do anything physical.
He's torturing you and trying to make you believe it's your fault, that he is your victim.
Emotional abuse can wound just as deeply as physical abuse. Really, it's the emotional abuse that's tied to the physical abuse that often leaves some of the worst scars. The confusion that these abusers generate in your own mind . . . that somehow something is wrong with YOU, rather than them, that YOU are doing something terrible to THEM, to force them to do to you whatever their particular choice of cruelty is . . . Your dad's treatment that you're describing is classic, even if he doesn't do anything physical.
He's torturing you and trying to make you believe it's your fault, that he is your victim.