Public Apology

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

Ok, I am sorry about the Dane thread â€“ I am really tired and stressed and instead of acting maturely I vented my frustrations on everyone else by closing down. Iâ€™m normally a pretty open-minded person, but lately it just hasnâ€™t been that way. Instead of being open with people, I want to concave and withdraw because it just feels like there is so much and no one to talk to. I woke up to a litter of 11 ratlets, a total of 13 if you wanted to count the dead ones too. Now momma rat is acting uninterested, and I am praying that I donâ€™t have to do hand-feeding as well as everything else.

I am upset that I cannot seem to find a dog that Joans likes, and I feel clicks. I know time will tell but it is still so frustrating to see such pretty dogs and feel nothing towards them at all. My house is a disaster but since I pulled my back bending over is a chore, and I am just so stinking tired that I have no get-up and go drive. Joans gets out for a romp period, but rain is on the wayâ€¦ I feel like pulling my hair out.

Dekka · May 5, 2009

(((((hugs)))))) these things happen. YOu will find the right dog...be patient

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

Lol, I know. It just feels like I should be saving one of those poor shelter dogs, but Joans either doesn't like them - or they don't like her. There was even one that bit me, I don't know it feels like I am being too picky ):

smkie · May 5, 2009

YOU can't expect a dog like Joan. Because there is only one Joan. Keep your heart open. Take your time, the right one will be there for you. Or the right dog may come to you. Pepper was laying down in the middle of the road (even her head,,she was on her side) and it was 3 degrees below zero. What do you do with a dog that is in the middle of the road practically frozen? I put her inside my coat and that is the beginning of a long story. HOpe you get a long story soon.

Dekka · May 5, 2009

You are chosing a new family member... you can't be too picky.

Doberluv · May 5, 2009

Isn't that black Dane you posted about working out? It takes time to bond with a new animal. Sometimes longer than other times. You have to get to know each other and learn to appreciate the little indiosyncracies and how to understand and communicate with that particular animal.

Try to force yourself out of your slump otherwise it's soooo much harder to get to feeling like yourself. Try counting your blessings, noticing what's good and remembering that others have horrible things going on too. I know that's easier said than done sometimes, but it has helped me in the past to keep from sinking further when I'm feeling down. You won't always feel this way. Things have a way of working themselves out sometimes. (((hugs))) I bet a nice brisk walk even if it does rain would make you feel fresher.

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

I wish sometimes I could've picked my family members, lol! Anyways, I know... I guess in a way I am looking for a dog like Joans. As I said, lately I haven't been very "open-minded"

smkie · May 5, 2009

lOl that is so true Carrie. I started calling Pepper PRecious when i really meant YOU B! Funny how things started to turn around right at that time.

I think it is exciting to be looking. I got Victor because Mary's son Bronki died. THere could not be more difference between the two. Bronki was calm and deep and solid and sort of still...he was a very peaceful, logical dog that i miss to this day with all my heart. Victor is a giggly wiggly high strung flipped out superball that made me and Mary leave our grief just to survive. He nuddged, wiggled and bounced us right back into living. I wouldn't change a thing about him. THere will never be another VIctor either.

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

Doberluv said:

No, I contacted a friend who has Danes to take her. I am just not ready, and she didn't click. When I met Joans it clicked instantly, but not with the Dane. I'll let her get back "into shape" with a real good person with knowledge far beyond mine.

Laurelin · May 5, 2009

One thing to keep in mind is some dogs take quite a bit of time to adjust to new dogs. I know for sure no matter what kind of dog I bring home, Summer will initially not like it. It took about three weeks for her to start liking the other dogs we have. Now they're all best buddies.

smkie · May 5, 2009

I wonder if three weeks is the magic number. THat is how long it took Mary to accept Victor.

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

Laurelin said:

I thought about that too, but when I say "don't like" I mean there is snarling and hateful glares and biting at each other. Joans is normally so peaceful too, but some of the dogs we met were actually IN the shelter - Joans hates the smell of the shelter.

Laurelin · May 5, 2009

Paper-Hearts said:

Summer and I didn't click right away and if anyone knows us they know she's now the love of my life. I liked her fine, it just wasn't the instant click I'd had with my previous dog, Nikki. Nikki looked up at me and that was it. I brought Summer home, she wasn't happy about being moved, didn't like the other dogs, and I was thinking 'What have I done!?' It took us a little while to figure each other out, but I think she's going to be the dog I've been the closest to. I think it was unrealistic of me to think it'd be just like Nikki all over again, that'd I'd be just as enamoured right away, just as comfortable with her, etc. I wasn't but i've grown to be.

Yep, that's what I meant by 'don't like' too. Summer was beyond not happy and she'd get defensive snap, growl, etc. Now, I'm not saying to keep a dog that attacks yours, but I've rarely added a new dog and things gone 100% smoothly without some snarking by one party. Nikki was always very annoyed when we brought home a new puppy. The only dog we added that had no issues getting along with at least one of the others was Trey and back then we just had Nik and they were both pups. After that, nope, Nikki would find youngster obnoxious initially, so would Rose, and Summer is reactive with most dogs until she gets to know them. It was a lot of separating dogs and making sure they had their own space until they got more comfortable with each other.

Smkie, that is interesting about the three weeks thing. It took Rose a bit more than that to come to terms with the Nard. :rofl1:

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

Laurelin said:

Summer and I didn't click right away and if anyone knows us they know she's now the love of my life. I liked her fine, it just wasn't the instant click I'd had with my previous dog, Nikki. Nikki looked up at me and that was it. I brought Summer home, she wasn't happy about being moved, didn't like the other dogs, and I was thinking 'What have I done!?' It took us a little while to figure each other out, but I think she's going to be the dog I've been the closest to. I think it was unrealistic of me to think it'd be just like Nikki all over again, that'd I'd be just as enamoured right away, just as comfortable with her, etc. I wasn't but i've grown to be.

Yep, that's what I meant by 'don't like' too. Summer was beyond not happy and she'd get defensive snap, growl, etc. Now, I'm not saying to keep a dog that attacks yours, but I've rarely added a new dog and things gone 100% smoothly without some snarking by one party. Nikki was always very annoyed when we brought home a new puppy. The only dog we added that had no issues getting along with at least one of the others was Trey and back then we just had Nik and they were both pups. After that, nope, Nikki would find youngster obnoxious initially, so would Rose, and Summer is reactive with most dogs until she gets to know them. It was a lot of separating dogs and making sure they had their own space until they got more comfortable with each other.

Smkie, that is interesting about the three weeks thing. It took Rose a bit more than that to come to terms with the Nard. :rofl1:

I will keep looking, if I find one I like I might give it a go. I just I feel bad bringing a dog into my home that doesn't like Joans or Joans doesn't like.

Oh and MOMMY RAT IS FEEDING THE BABIES!!!

smkie · May 5, 2009

I guess the idea is wait at least three weeks. My old boss told me each time i started something new that i thought was about to kill me dead, to wait 6 weeks and it will feel like i have been doing whatever it is all my life. He was right.

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

smkie said:

It is worth a try, just have to find the right dog.

smkie · May 5, 2009

ANd you will just know. ANd that will be the time i promise you. THe sight of the dog will speak to your soul.

My mom has never had the relationship with dogs that i have. I have seen her keep some their whole lives that would have been much happier being someone's special. SHe was good to them, but there wasn't ever that "link".
Pepper sends you a kiss for luck "Smooch a pooch" says Pepper - Dog and Puppy Pictures

Paper-Hearts · May 5, 2009

smkie said:

But how do I know I found MY dog, and not the dog of someone else? How do I know it is MY special dog?

Tankstar · May 5, 2009

Took me over a year to find Blaze after we lost our old girl. I didnt even want to see other dogs, aside from our other 2 elderly dogs we had. i went from shelter to shelter to shelter 100kms in this area every which way. Then I found him, unfourtently [before I knew better] in a petstore. We were driving by and I seen him in the window and just knew he was to be mine.good luck on your search.

sillysally · May 5, 2009

In my experience (only 2 dogs), I just had a feeling. I also don't think that you can be too picky. This companion will be a part of your "pack" for many years.

It's possible your girl might do better with a male...

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