And that's very true. He won't believe you, and will just get more confused. Remember, they work on body language (that you are unaware of) and smelling your feelings. If you ACT like you love him, but you SMELL like you hate him, he won't know what's what!! Better to just be yourself and not try to fake anything - the lovin' will come when he starts responding to you.
Please explain the situation
- Thread starter Zen Fox
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Rubylove gave you excellent advice.
Remember, dogs don't communicate the way we do and they don't understand anger or high level emotions. It confuses and frightens them. This little dog has probably been in a situation for a long time where he's insecure about who his leader is...not a correct kind of leader. This is something dogs must have in order to function normally.
May I suggest that you ask your step mom if she'd go along with some stuff you're learning about on a dog forum and would she like to learn with you in order to help the dog be better behaved and happier.
You could tell her some things you're learning and show her.
Before you can reach this little dog, you'll have to gain it's trust in you. That would be the very first step. Kindness, calmness and a feeling of confidence in yourself will be the needed ingredients. You'll have to withstand the yapping for a while and try to fight the nervousness that it will cause you...for a while. First get a relationship going with this dog.
Find out what treats he likes best....really special ones. And use those to help. See if he'll come over to you and get a treat. Does he know "sit?" Lure him into a sit with the treat and then give it to him. Spend some time trying to make friends with him. Is there a game or toy he likes that you could play with him? If he's not into that, don't worry. Find out what he likes and use it to your advantage...either to help win trust or as a reward for a small task.
If you try and dominate with force of any kind and have a power struggle with this dog, you won't win his trust. In wild dogs and wolves, the alpha is fair, calm, gentle....never harsh, just sure of himself and in charge. He enforces the rules to keep the others safe with firmness and he provides resources...he divides the kill up for the other wolves and decides who will get what and when.
You'll have to work to get the anger and emotions out of it. Dogs do not understand that. How you will become a leader is to be trusted, sure of yourself, kind, but firm. Teaching him a little skill here and there will also show him that you're in charge. If he knows or learns sit or come because you'll reward him when he does, that can be used as something he must do to earn a reward and praise. Soon he will enjoy learning because it's going to be fun. He'll start looking up to you.
Then you can work on teaching him other things, like "enough" yapping. Rubylove and the others can help you a lot too. There are lots of good ideas floating around this forum.
Let's all put our heads together. I think you'll need the cooperation of others who interact with the dog to really help the animal, otherwise, it's going to be quite confusing.
Don't worry too much about being insulted. Things get written sometimes on the Internet which aren't exactly how they were meant. It's really hard to communicate this way, especially when you can't see eachothers faces, body language, gestures, hear inflections in voice etc. So, try to get the gist of the information and concentrate on that instead of feeling hurt or mad. Let's get to it and try to fix this problem.
Best wishes.
Remember, dogs don't communicate the way we do and they don't understand anger or high level emotions. It confuses and frightens them. This little dog has probably been in a situation for a long time where he's insecure about who his leader is...not a correct kind of leader. This is something dogs must have in order to function normally.
May I suggest that you ask your step mom if she'd go along with some stuff you're learning about on a dog forum and would she like to learn with you in order to help the dog be better behaved and happier.
You could tell her some things you're learning and show her.
Before you can reach this little dog, you'll have to gain it's trust in you. That would be the very first step. Kindness, calmness and a feeling of confidence in yourself will be the needed ingredients. You'll have to withstand the yapping for a while and try to fight the nervousness that it will cause you...for a while. First get a relationship going with this dog.
Find out what treats he likes best....really special ones. And use those to help. See if he'll come over to you and get a treat. Does he know "sit?" Lure him into a sit with the treat and then give it to him. Spend some time trying to make friends with him. Is there a game or toy he likes that you could play with him? If he's not into that, don't worry. Find out what he likes and use it to your advantage...either to help win trust or as a reward for a small task.
If you try and dominate with force of any kind and have a power struggle with this dog, you won't win his trust. In wild dogs and wolves, the alpha is fair, calm, gentle....never harsh, just sure of himself and in charge. He enforces the rules to keep the others safe with firmness and he provides resources...he divides the kill up for the other wolves and decides who will get what and when.
You'll have to work to get the anger and emotions out of it. Dogs do not understand that. How you will become a leader is to be trusted, sure of yourself, kind, but firm. Teaching him a little skill here and there will also show him that you're in charge. If he knows or learns sit or come because you'll reward him when he does, that can be used as something he must do to earn a reward and praise. Soon he will enjoy learning because it's going to be fun. He'll start looking up to you.
Then you can work on teaching him other things, like "enough" yapping. Rubylove and the others can help you a lot too. There are lots of good ideas floating around this forum.
Let's all put our heads together. I think you'll need the cooperation of others who interact with the dog to really help the animal, otherwise, it's going to be quite confusing.
Don't worry too much about being insulted. Things get written sometimes on the Internet which aren't exactly how they were meant. It's really hard to communicate this way, especially when you can't see eachothers faces, body language, gestures, hear inflections in voice etc. So, try to get the gist of the information and concentrate on that instead of feeling hurt or mad. Let's get to it and try to fix this problem.
Best wishes.
I don't have a problem with Ambur going to the bathroom outside -- I want her to, but the problem is when my step-mom constantly puts her out there when she and her dog get in to it. I want her to go outside only to go to the bathroom or play, not to be forced outside just because she responds to her dog with grunts when he's instigating rough play. My concern is she'll be confused where to go because she's outside all the time when she doesn't have to go. She knows what out means, but she doesn't know why she goes out... That's the problem. I would expect my step-mom to be so stupid as to do this because her dog is almost a year old and isn't housetrained -- not the dog's fault, but the owners for not training him. RedyreRottweilers would approve of that statement.
Thanks, everyone, for all the great advice. I've actually learned a lot already, especially about dogs picking up on negative vibes and being nice as the alpha (I seriously thought head of packs wrestled lower members to prove their dominance). Is it ok to wrestle with dogs that trust you? Do they look at it as a dominating behavior and are they ok with it?
Rubylove, I have to go to bed, but I promise I'll email you tomorrow. Training this dog may not be as bad as I thought it would be. We'll see.
See you all tomorrow.
Ok I'll speak to you tomorrow! Have a good sleep...lol
Also, I would not recommend wrestling. There are many games that have dominance problems associated with them - wrestling, tug-of-war etc. These can be ok with some dogs (although I don't use them) but should not be used with others. You want games such as fetch, which the dogs love, but will establish YOUR dominance. Playing with a toy - throwing it and then getting the dog to bring it back and give it up to you is a great way to get them to see you as leader. There's others you can play, too, which will not confuse the dog in any way.
Also, I would not recommend wrestling. There are many games that have dominance problems associated with them - wrestling, tug-of-war etc. These can be ok with some dogs (although I don't use them) but should not be used with others. You want games such as fetch, which the dogs love, but will establish YOUR dominance. Playing with a toy - throwing it and then getting the dog to bring it back and give it up to you is a great way to get them to see you as leader. There's others you can play, too, which will not confuse the dog in any way.
R
You know, I have to say I see a pattern here.
First, one dog is stupid because it does not respond to incorrect and poor training techniques.
Now you hate this dog for it's behavior, and you want to show it the back of your hand.
You also insinuate on another thread that dogs are vindictive and eliminate in the house for revenge.
I don't think you like dogs very much, and I have to wonder why you even come here.
Unless of course, it's to stir things up.
First, one dog is stupid because it does not respond to incorrect and poor training techniques.
Now you hate this dog for it's behavior, and you want to show it the back of your hand.
You also insinuate on another thread that dogs are vindictive and eliminate in the house for revenge.
I don't think you like dogs very much, and I have to wonder why you even come here.
Unless of course, it's to stir things up.
Redyre....some people just don't understand dogs very well or at all. They make statements which show this. If they are asking for help, it shows that they have an interest in learning or would like some help with one or two particular things. That is what this forum is for. If after a long time, there seems to be a real resistance to accepting the information given by more experienced dog people, then and only then we might conclude that someone is trying to stir things up. But we can't jump to that conclusion at this point. It's way too early for that. That is something that the moderators or admin will evaluate if and when the time comes. 
I think you're not giving your dog enough credit as far as the outside bathroom thing. Once she's learned that "outside is for potty", that's what she'll do. My dogs spend a huge amount of time outside and there is no confusion as far as the potty training goes.
As far as your step-mom's dog goes, well, Papillions are notorious for being hard to housebreak. We have a member on here who is on her way to being an excellent trainer and her 2 year old Pap isn't reliable inside either. It's a small-breed thing. Chihuahuas, Pomeranians, the toy terriers, etc...all fairly hard when it comes to housebreaking. I understand that you don't think much of your stepmom, or at least not her actions towards dog training (i.e. none)
I wrestle with my Aussie, but I make sure that I'm the one initiating the play and I say when it stops. If he starts getting too rough and using his teeth at all, fun's over. Also, I try to make sure that I'm never letting him push me on my back, because that is a dominant/submissive position.
As far as your step-mom's dog goes, well, Papillions are notorious for being hard to housebreak. We have a member on here who is on her way to being an excellent trainer and her 2 year old Pap isn't reliable inside either. It's a small-breed thing. Chihuahuas, Pomeranians, the toy terriers, etc...all fairly hard when it comes to housebreaking. I understand that you don't think much of your stepmom, or at least not her actions towards dog training (i.e. none)
I wrestle with my Aussie, but I make sure that I'm the one initiating the play and I say when it stops. If he starts getting too rough and using his teeth at all, fun's over. Also, I try to make sure that I'm never letting him push me on my back, because that is a dominant/submissive position.
Papillons are sneaky little devils, the worst thing you can do is to underestimate their intelligence and capability of thinking. Obviously, he knows he can get away with murder with your stepmom, and that is why he yaps all the time when he is with her. If you are firmer or don't reinforce his yapping, that would explain why he doesn't bark when he's around you.
I would suggest learning more about the Papillon breed, so you can get an idea of what you're dealing with. They are extremely intelligent and will get away with whatever they can. My feeling is that the reason this little dog is misbehaving so much is because he's had no discipline from your step-mom. It doesn't sound like anyone has taken the time to train him, and he's likely just misbehaving out of boredom. Papillons are energetic little dogs and when they're bored, they're going to cause trouble. When she's talking to people with yappy dogs, my friend always says "a busy dog can't yap" and she is so right. If you keep his attention on you or something else, he won't be able to bark.
But.... since you seem to despise him, I can't be too sure that you will even get past the "pseudo-love" part of it. he most likely will never fall for it.
My Papillon can read people's intentions like a book. If they aren't wild about him, he takes the same approach to them. If I want to give him a bath, and don't even say anything when I go to pick him up (NOTHING is different than when I just pick him up for a cuddle) he hangs his head and grumbles. I imagine it is because I have reservations, something is very subtly different about me or my body language that signals to him that I'm not just going to pick him up and give him a smooch. If he can read those differences, I have NO doubt that he could tell the difference between masked hatred and actual fondness. And, to be perfectly honest, if you hate the dog so much you should stay away from it until you can have an open mind about training it. Trying to train it now will only lead to your immense frustration and a very fearful dog.
If you ever do need help understanding the dog I'd be happy to assist you, as my Pap sounds a bit similar. If I just let him run amok, he'd be yapping, biting and soiling the house all day long. But with fair, consistent and firm leadership, he is a really cool little dog and a lot of fun to be around.
Edit: Didn't see Zoom's last post, but I am the one with the Papillon that is still not reliably house trained. It is not because my dog is dumb, but rather because he is so tiny and the house is so huge. If he makes a mistake in the house, it's my fault for not taking him out sooner and preventing it. Blaming the dog does nothing.
I would suggest learning more about the Papillon breed, so you can get an idea of what you're dealing with. They are extremely intelligent and will get away with whatever they can. My feeling is that the reason this little dog is misbehaving so much is because he's had no discipline from your step-mom. It doesn't sound like anyone has taken the time to train him, and he's likely just misbehaving out of boredom. Papillons are energetic little dogs and when they're bored, they're going to cause trouble. When she's talking to people with yappy dogs, my friend always says "a busy dog can't yap" and she is so right. If you keep his attention on you or something else, he won't be able to bark.
But.... since you seem to despise him, I can't be too sure that you will even get past the "pseudo-love" part of it. he most likely will never fall for it.
My Papillon can read people's intentions like a book. If they aren't wild about him, he takes the same approach to them. If I want to give him a bath, and don't even say anything when I go to pick him up (NOTHING is different than when I just pick him up for a cuddle) he hangs his head and grumbles. I imagine it is because I have reservations, something is very subtly different about me or my body language that signals to him that I'm not just going to pick him up and give him a smooch. If he can read those differences, I have NO doubt that he could tell the difference between masked hatred and actual fondness. And, to be perfectly honest, if you hate the dog so much you should stay away from it until you can have an open mind about training it. Trying to train it now will only lead to your immense frustration and a very fearful dog.
If you ever do need help understanding the dog I'd be happy to assist you, as my Pap sounds a bit similar. If I just let him run amok, he'd be yapping, biting and soiling the house all day long. But with fair, consistent and firm leadership, he is a really cool little dog and a lot of fun to be around.
Edit: Didn't see Zoom's last post, but I am the one with the Papillon that is still not reliably house trained. It is not because my dog is dumb, but rather because he is so tiny and the house is so huge. If he makes a mistake in the house, it's my fault for not taking him out sooner and preventing it. Blaming the dog does nothing.
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I think that you need to calm down when you are around the dog, and before you know you are going to see him. that will make a difference in his attitude towards you. Also you can do some training when it is just you and him, if you are concerned about you step mother's attitude. You stepmom has obviously not established herself as the leader of the pack, so he took over. everyone here gave good advice, take it it will help make your life easier with the dog.
Yes, but that's not the point because that's only a temporary solution. Ambur is fine. It's Leon that goes hog-wild. But, of course, I seperate them when training them. Leon needs to act civilly around other dogs and stop yapping all the time.
Here's where I stand now:
I want to teach Leon not to yap all the time and be nicer to other dogs.
Everything else can be handled by his owner. So, basically, what I teach him is the only thing he'll ever know. lol.