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one year ago today,
probably very close to this exact time,
my parents took me out to dinner. afterwards they said we were going to a petstore down the street.
they said i could get a puppy.
i picked a wiggly, hyper, very affection, short-legged, long-haired, four month old Jack Russell Terrier.
about an hour later, me and Milo, along with my parents and their new Wheaten puppy Benji, were heading home.
that night, we let them explore the house, meeting our older Eskie, Cody, the cat, Ginger (who Milo was absolutely PETRIFIED OF), and bound around the backyard.
That night, i put Milo in a crate on my floor. He stopped whining after about three seconds, but i brought him into bed with me anyway. He slept curled up against my chest. at four AM i took him outside to potty. I carried him down and set him in the grass. He just looked at me, then laid down and went to sleep, so i brought him back inside. He wedged himself between my headboard and my matress and fell asleep. Three hours later our day started when both puppies leapt into our pool. We weren't sure if the chlorine was ok, so we made them get out. Milo sniffed every corner, nipped every ankle, and killed every toy.
At his first vet appointment, Milo slept soundly in my arms and then on the table the whole time. The vet technician asked if he was really a jack russell. unfortunately, that was the last peaceful vet vist i ever experienced.
for the next couple of days, i taught Milo his name, "no" and to go potty outside. After just two days, he'd scratch at the door to go out. when i had to go to school, i think i told everyone in the entire building i had an new puppy. and even though i was excited about Milo, i was still struggling with severe depressive disorder and anxiety.
Thursday, four days after Milo came home, i went home from school early, faking a headache. I slept a long time, while my mom watched Milo.
That night, i swallowed 60 tranquilizers. I kissed Milo's head about five times, told him "goodbye", that i loved him, and i promised he would be taken care of. I'm not sure if i mentioned him in my suicide note. i'm sure i did.
I woke up in the hospital sometime the next night. My mom, brother, and stepdad were all there. i asked where Milo was, and mom said he was in his crate, and they fed him. i don't remember much of the next four days, except that i told my brother i wanted a "stuffed friend" so he went to the gift shop and got me a white and brown bulldog toy. he said it didn't look much like Milo, but at least it was the same colors. the combination of the drugs and the fact that i have terrible vision to begin with, made the dog look enough like Milo for me.
Once i became coherent again, i asked about Milo every day. How many accidents he had, if he ate, what his favorite toys were. My dad took polaroids of him and brought them in. i showed all the nurses and the other patients. He also took a video of Milo playing in the backyard. to this day, i think that it's the cutest video ever.
after four days in ICU, ten days in pediatric medical, and i think four days in a mental health rehab thing, i was allowed to go on the grounds. My mom brought Milo to visit me. i really thought that he would have forgotten me, but he nearly wiggled out of his skin when he saw me. My mom had him dressed in a little shirt that saw "Pawsitively adorable." I walked him all around, and there was a field that i could run in with him. Everyday i got to spend an hour with him. sometimes my friends came and we played ball with him or something. I didn't think i'd miss him that much, but i did.
Now, a year later, i know this year wouldn't have been the same without Milo. i wonder how such an amazing dog came into my life. He's complicated, but so am i. he's so smart, and he makes me laugh so much. his first walk, his first road trip, his first hike, his first snow, his first swim, his first bone, his first christmas, his first halloween (vampire), his first birthday. many many many holes under my fence, and in my underwear, so much stuffing across the living room, countless laughs shared because of his ridiculous antics (his new thing to sit on a pool float and stick his head underwater). The days i haven't wanted to get out of bed until he starts pulling the covers off me and rolling around. His "talking".
and mostly, "how to train a jack russell".
you have to make them think what you want them to do is "their" idea.
"hey Milo. Do you want to sleep alone downstairs tonight? ok, fine" *heads upstairs, JRT follows*
"hey Milo, i know you'd rather have my sandwich than this really fun BALL" *JRT grabs the ball*
"ok, we go on walks when you walk nice. oh, what's that? you're pulling? that must mean you don't want to walk." *JRT heels*
"hey Milo, you must not want this cookie since you're jumping up trying to grab it" *JRT sits*
i'm pretty sure whoever invented reverse psychology had a JRT.
i love you, Milo Sebastian. Thank you for this wonderful year you've given me, and here's to many, many, many wonderful years to come.
probably very close to this exact time,
my parents took me out to dinner. afterwards they said we were going to a petstore down the street.
they said i could get a puppy.
i picked a wiggly, hyper, very affection, short-legged, long-haired, four month old Jack Russell Terrier.
about an hour later, me and Milo, along with my parents and their new Wheaten puppy Benji, were heading home.
that night, we let them explore the house, meeting our older Eskie, Cody, the cat, Ginger (who Milo was absolutely PETRIFIED OF), and bound around the backyard.
That night, i put Milo in a crate on my floor. He stopped whining after about three seconds, but i brought him into bed with me anyway. He slept curled up against my chest. at four AM i took him outside to potty. I carried him down and set him in the grass. He just looked at me, then laid down and went to sleep, so i brought him back inside. He wedged himself between my headboard and my matress and fell asleep. Three hours later our day started when both puppies leapt into our pool. We weren't sure if the chlorine was ok, so we made them get out. Milo sniffed every corner, nipped every ankle, and killed every toy.
At his first vet appointment, Milo slept soundly in my arms and then on the table the whole time. The vet technician asked if he was really a jack russell. unfortunately, that was the last peaceful vet vist i ever experienced.
for the next couple of days, i taught Milo his name, "no" and to go potty outside. After just two days, he'd scratch at the door to go out. when i had to go to school, i think i told everyone in the entire building i had an new puppy. and even though i was excited about Milo, i was still struggling with severe depressive disorder and anxiety.
Thursday, four days after Milo came home, i went home from school early, faking a headache. I slept a long time, while my mom watched Milo.
That night, i swallowed 60 tranquilizers. I kissed Milo's head about five times, told him "goodbye", that i loved him, and i promised he would be taken care of. I'm not sure if i mentioned him in my suicide note. i'm sure i did.
I woke up in the hospital sometime the next night. My mom, brother, and stepdad were all there. i asked where Milo was, and mom said he was in his crate, and they fed him. i don't remember much of the next four days, except that i told my brother i wanted a "stuffed friend" so he went to the gift shop and got me a white and brown bulldog toy. he said it didn't look much like Milo, but at least it was the same colors. the combination of the drugs and the fact that i have terrible vision to begin with, made the dog look enough like Milo for me.
Once i became coherent again, i asked about Milo every day. How many accidents he had, if he ate, what his favorite toys were. My dad took polaroids of him and brought them in. i showed all the nurses and the other patients. He also took a video of Milo playing in the backyard. to this day, i think that it's the cutest video ever.
after four days in ICU, ten days in pediatric medical, and i think four days in a mental health rehab thing, i was allowed to go on the grounds. My mom brought Milo to visit me. i really thought that he would have forgotten me, but he nearly wiggled out of his skin when he saw me. My mom had him dressed in a little shirt that saw "Pawsitively adorable." I walked him all around, and there was a field that i could run in with him. Everyday i got to spend an hour with him. sometimes my friends came and we played ball with him or something. I didn't think i'd miss him that much, but i did.
Now, a year later, i know this year wouldn't have been the same without Milo. i wonder how such an amazing dog came into my life. He's complicated, but so am i. he's so smart, and he makes me laugh so much. his first walk, his first road trip, his first hike, his first snow, his first swim, his first bone, his first christmas, his first halloween (vampire), his first birthday. many many many holes under my fence, and in my underwear, so much stuffing across the living room, countless laughs shared because of his ridiculous antics (his new thing to sit on a pool float and stick his head underwater). The days i haven't wanted to get out of bed until he starts pulling the covers off me and rolling around. His "talking".
and mostly, "how to train a jack russell".
you have to make them think what you want them to do is "their" idea.
"hey Milo. Do you want to sleep alone downstairs tonight? ok, fine" *heads upstairs, JRT follows*
"hey Milo, i know you'd rather have my sandwich than this really fun BALL" *JRT grabs the ball*
"ok, we go on walks when you walk nice. oh, what's that? you're pulling? that must mean you don't want to walk." *JRT heels*
"hey Milo, you must not want this cookie since you're jumping up trying to grab it" *JRT sits*
i'm pretty sure whoever invented reverse psychology had a JRT.
i love you, Milo Sebastian. Thank you for this wonderful year you've given me, and here's to many, many, many wonderful years to come.