ok.... am I overreacting?

[Fran27]

So, my sister is coming tomorrow. I have to pick her up from the airport at 2pm.

Now, the house is kinda (a lot) a mess. The kitchen floor is disgusting (rain and puppies don't mix well), I have to clean up the bathroom, clear out the living room (tons of boxes and stuff in there), clean the litter box, and we need to wash the sheets for the guest bed (I could do it now but then I wouldn't know when to put them considering my husband has been sleeping up there, and probably will again tonight)... among other things.

So, we need to do groceries, and I volunteered to go tonight so we can focus on cleaning tomorrow morning.

And now my husband called me saying he found that good deal on a monitor on ebay and is going to Philly to check it out tomorrow morning.

I am so mad!!!! Not only I take care of the babies all day, do dishes and laundry every day and he hasn't done anything in the house this week (he usually helps with dishes but I have to do them during the day because of baby bottle timing now), but now tomorrow again I'm going to have to take care of the babies and clean the house alone!!! He said he would wake up earlier to help... RIGHT. As if. It's going to be as usual, he's going to get at the computer with his coffee and grump at me if I ask him to do something.

I'm really upset... Days are HARD and I really appreciate the help on week ends... and now this...

Am I overreacting?

 

[Buddy'sParents]

It hardly seems fair. You seem to be doing so much around the house. Have you tried telling him how you feel?

 

[DaVinci]

I think it is time for you put your foot down and tell him to help out. I mean you didn't have the babies on your own. If the house isn't perfect I'm sure your sister will help you get things together. I would do that for my sisters. Don't worry about it too much.

 

[Fran27]

Yes he knows I'm mad alright.

But he does some things, he cooks at night (even if it's just to make pasta), and deals with garbage and I don't have to remind him that... he's cleared some boxes from the living room... he helps with the babies when he's home too, it's just really pissing me off because I don't want to have to deal with the cleaning and the babies tomorrow morning.

I'm just hoping I won't have to remind him to clean or it's going to get ugly.

 

[Suzzie]

i'd be mad

but my guy doesn't do CRAP unless i nag nag nag.. and then i'm "mean." hmph

 

[Samantha's pet]

My husband never remembers to clean up after himself or do house work. If I want him to help I just cry. Literally, lol. I get so stressed by the mess that I cry. He is always busy and he works really hard but I still need help w/ the house b/c I work too. My job isnt as time consuming or stressful so I really do feel like most of the house work should be my responsibility and if I didnt have a job at all I would feel its only fair that the house be my responsibilities but the babies should be both people's responsibility. I dont think its unfair that he doesnt do much house work but he should at least stay tomorrow and take care of the babies so you can do the house work. Not that it would be wrong for him to help you but I dont I would be angry.

 

[HoundedByHounds]

I'd simply ask him to go check the monitor in the evening instead...leaving you time to visit with your sister. In fact I'd state it as something that was going to happen.

"You can go look at that monitor in the evening after my sis gets in...we can have some girl talk while you're gone. I know this won't be a huge deal to you because I know how you like me to be happy and not all stressed out."

 

[Fran27]

Yeah I would like that but my sister wants to go out tomorrow (her boyfriend is coming too anyway). Something about American prices making it REALLY nice to shop here

So, need someone to keep the babies in the meantime. I can tell you he's going to spend a LOT of time alone at home with the babies this week end. Too bad he gets nothing done either when I'm out

 

[bubbatd]

Having never had a husband to pitch in , I had to plan around no help . I'm sure your sister will understand ....help you make the bed etc . Your visit together is more important than being a tired , nervous wreck when she arrives . ( Hugs ),,,,been there !!!!

 

[Saje]

Don't let it stress you out. If it's not done. It's not done. Your sis will understand. You have two twins to take care of! If she can't understand that you have your hands full and your husband works full time she can stay in a hotel. lol

And maybe just ask your husband to do ONE thing for you before he goes. Either tonight or tomorrow night. he can do it tonight. You do things while taking care of the babies so you do the groceries and he can wash the floor or whatever. Relax. It doesn't sound like your house needs that much work anyway.

 

[ACooper]

Um YES that would bother me. Company coming means the house must be clean top to bottom and EVERYONE must do their share or face the firing squad.

Personally, I would tell him to forget the monitor and stay to help me. If he didn't want to do that, I would suggest that he take the babies with him so I could be free to clean as I wanted

But as Saje said.......(as much as it would KILL ME) I am sure your sister will more than understand. Worse to worse you do what you can and the rest will stay undone.

(((((HUGS)))))

 

[Saje]

Personally, I would tell him to forget the monitor and stay to help me. If he didn't want to do that, I would suggest that he take the babies with him so I could be free to clean as I wanted

Oh good idea They'll probably just sleep in the car lol.

 

[2BlackDogs]

I don't think you are overreacting. I can't imagine how much work comes with 2 babies at one time. I'm sure your sister will u nderstand if the house is not perfect. If you get the sheets on the guest bed washed and put back on it, I think you'll be fine. While you are out shopping with her, Make sure you leave a todo list with your hubby while he watches the babies. Include on there everything you didn't get done for your sisters visit!

 

[Miakoda]

You want the truth?

My husband doesn't do a **** thing to help out around the house. He thinks mowing our measly yard with a riding lawnmower nonetheless is work enough for the day....and no he doesn't bother to weedeat or edge on the same day.

I can't even get the s.o.b. to put his dirty clothes in any of our 3 hampers because he doesn't see how hard it really is for me to just pick them up off the floor.

Honestly, I would need to talk to you on the phone to go vent all the frustration out I have with my husband. And what does he want to do instead? Call his mom and have her come "help" me out and give me "pointers." ARGH!

So NO, you are NOT overreacting.

 

[Doggyteacher]

Don't let it stress you out. If it's not done. It's not done. Your sis will understand. You have two twins to take care of! If she can't understand that you have your hands full and your husband works full time she can stay in a hotel. lol

And maybe just ask your husband to do ONE thing for you before he goes. Either tonight or tomorrow night. he can do it tonight. You do things while taking care of the babies so you do the groceries and he can wash the floor or whatever. Relax. It doesn't sound like your house needs that much work anyway.

Id have to agree with Saje. Though I completely understand how frustrating it is. I now have a 3 month old and my hubby tends to try and smooth things over with the "I'll wake up early to help" bit. After a while when he didnt help out I stopped cleaning his things piling it into a designated corner (out of public site) and said cook for yourself. Needless to say.. he gets up early when he says he will now and funny I dont have to nag about taking the garbage out now..lol

 

[GlassOnion]

Question: Why must the house be clean before company comes? They know as well as you do that you don't normally keep your house spot free any more than they do.

Relax. It's not a big deal.

 

[SarahFair]

WHEW! Its work. I just took care of babies and cleaned WHOLE house yesterday just for some kids to tear it up..
My bf never helps cleaning (he complains about dishes)
so atleast he offered!

 

[ACooper]

Question: Why must the house be clean before company comes? They know as well as you do that you don't normally keep your house spot free any more than they do.

Relax. It's not a big deal.

GO it isn't that I am trying to 'fool' anyone into thinking I live in a spot free house, LOL, ya.......5 kids, 2 dogs, and a husband? NOWAY!

For me personally it's so I can enjoy their visit to the fullest. When the visit starts off with a VERY clean house & yard work done there isn't anything to do but entertain the company (in turn, entertaining myself )

I don't want to have to "clear a place" for their things, or "prepare" a spot for them to sleep, or any of the things that come with it. I just want to open the door and say come right in.....and THEN relax

 

[Fran27]

Well, he's helped, and the dude isn't answering his phone so he can't even go see the thing

But there's just little things that **** me off... like, leaving the litterbox outside all night when he KNOWS his cat will not go outside to pee... so he peed on the baby mat I bought 2 weeks ago. AAAAARGH. I'm NOT cleaning it.

 

[bubbatd]

Too bad the cat didn't pee on somethin of his !