Notes to Your Pets
- Thread starter MandyPug
- Start date
Toker,
Please be patient while I'm gone. You must know I'm grocery shopping and picking up a toy or a bone for you. Please don't take the other half of my avacado again like you did last week. That is not good for you and I want it for my salad. Hang in there. I'll be home soon with something for you.
Mom
Mandy...cute thread idea!
Please be patient while I'm gone. You must know I'm grocery shopping and picking up a toy or a bone for you. Please don't take the other half of my avacado again like you did last week. That is not good for you and I want it for my salad. Hang in there. I'll be home soon with something for you.
Mom
Mandy...cute thread idea!
Dear Gigi, Anisette, and Enchante,
Yes, I realize the neighbor's cat likes to sit on our front porch staring up at you thru the window. I am sure she finds it quite amusing to see you three go nuts. However, you are never going to actually get the cat. She is just tormenting you. And you are driving me slightly nuts.
Please limit yourself to a two minute limit of going crazy and trying to get the cat. That should still give you plenty of time to enjoy yourself, but will help me retain my sanity.
Thanks,
Your owner from whom all good things come (just something to keep in mind)
Yes, I realize the neighbor's cat likes to sit on our front porch staring up at you thru the window. I am sure she finds it quite amusing to see you three go nuts. However, you are never going to actually get the cat. She is just tormenting you. And you are driving me slightly nuts.
Please limit yourself to a two minute limit of going crazy and trying to get the cat. That should still give you plenty of time to enjoy yourself, but will help me retain my sanity.
Thanks,
Your owner from whom all good things come (just something to keep in mind)
Sierra,
Other dogs are not out to get you. You can relax! I know you would really like coming to work with me instead of staying at home in your crate, but I need to know you won't freak out when other dogs come into "your" store. Seriously.
Love, Mama
My Dear Nya,
I don't know if you're just cold since I had all your fur shaved off, but simply sitting down is not an invitation to have you climb all over me. I do like to snuggle, but I have a laptop computer and there isn't much room when you're on my lap all the time!
XO - Mom
Buddy -
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING: stop the scream/yeowl/meowing at 2am. I need sleep. You will not be let into the bedroom, no matter how much you cry. Go snuggle Nya, she seems to need it.
Love, mom (the one you're keeping awake!)
Other dogs are not out to get you. You can relax! I know you would really like coming to work with me instead of staying at home in your crate, but I need to know you won't freak out when other dogs come into "your" store. Seriously.
Love, Mama
My Dear Nya,
I don't know if you're just cold since I had all your fur shaved off, but simply sitting down is not an invitation to have you climb all over me. I do like to snuggle, but I have a laptop computer and there isn't much room when you're on my lap all the time!
XO - Mom
Buddy -
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING: stop the scream/yeowl/meowing at 2am. I need sleep. You will not be let into the bedroom, no matter how much you cry. Go snuggle Nya, she seems to need it.
Love, mom (the one you're keeping awake!)
Victor would you stop wigging out over every little thing. IT gets so very tiresome. WE all have cabin fever. Your not a pup by now you should be better about it by now.
For the Love of God,Pepper stop staring at me. It's 4 below and we are not going out. Period.
(i literally put a blanket over her and she sat there like a statue ghost for another half hour on the arm of the couch in her pleading position)
I miss you Mary.
For the Love of God,Pepper stop staring at me. It's 4 below and we are not going out. Period.
(i literally put a blanket over her and she sat there like a statue ghost for another half hour on the arm of the couch in her pleading position)
I miss you Mary.
T
Aramae,
Please try not to be so bipolar. I have a 4 month old baby, I'm exhausted, so I'm sorry if I don't read your signals right and pet you for longer than you'd like. Next time that happens, try walking away, instead of punching me with your declawed paws or biting me! Mkay? Thanks
Your evil step-mom
V,
I'm so glad you are my "cat-dog". I love that you speak on command, and I love that you fetch, but can you try to be a bit more cat-like when we're busy with the baby? I PROMISE you'll be okay if we aren't constantly throwing your toys for you.
Mom
Cocoa,
I miss you and love you. More than I can say. I hope you are enjoying your vacation with Dana, and so glad you are making a good impression with Maddie. Be good, and don't eat her out of house and home!
LOTS of love,
your mommy
Please try not to be so bipolar. I have a 4 month old baby, I'm exhausted, so I'm sorry if I don't read your signals right and pet you for longer than you'd like. Next time that happens, try walking away, instead of punching me with your declawed paws or biting me! Mkay? Thanks
Your evil step-mom
V,
I'm so glad you are my "cat-dog". I love that you speak on command, and I love that you fetch, but can you try to be a bit more cat-like when we're busy with the baby? I PROMISE you'll be okay if we aren't constantly throwing your toys for you.
Mom
Cocoa,
I miss you and love you. More than I can say. I hope you are enjoying your vacation with Dana, and so glad you are making a good impression with Maddie. Be good, and don't eat her out of house and home!
LOTS of love,
your mommy
Fozzface,
I wish I could feed you more, munchkin. I wish I could give you all of the pig ears, pork ribs, and cheetos that your heart desired. But alas, I love you too much and I want you to be with me for a long, long time. So please stop staring at me with those big melty eyes and cease your adorable waving gestures. I feed you too much as it is!
Love, Mombly
ps ok but only a few cheetos...
Dearest Gonzo,
I love you and I love everything about you. It's the world that doesn't always accept you. When new people come into the house they don't always realize that they need to stop and allow you to approve them before they continue on... especially drunk people. Please try to be patient with them and try to supress the urge to herd them while they're playing Dance Dance Revolution. I know you're just trying to keep them from being stupid and breaking things, but some of them get pretty freaked out, and they don't understand how sweet and gooey your center is.
Yours truly, Mom
I wish I could feed you more, munchkin. I wish I could give you all of the pig ears, pork ribs, and cheetos that your heart desired. But alas, I love you too much and I want you to be with me for a long, long time. So please stop staring at me with those big melty eyes and cease your adorable waving gestures. I feed you too much as it is!
Love, Mombly
ps ok but only a few cheetos...
Dearest Gonzo,
I love you and I love everything about you. It's the world that doesn't always accept you. When new people come into the house they don't always realize that they need to stop and allow you to approve them before they continue on... especially drunk people. Please try to be patient with them and try to supress the urge to herd them while they're playing Dance Dance Revolution. I know you're just trying to keep them from being stupid and breaking things, but some of them get pretty freaked out, and they don't understand how sweet and gooey your center is.
Yours truly, Mom
Dear Ruby,
Waking us up at 5am every day, even on weekends and holidays, is not very nice. Also staring at us and whining and tap dancing around the kitchen is not going to get your food to you any faster, settle down. One more thing, seriously let me dremel your nails, I'm better at it than mum and won't cut your quick.
Love, Your Sister
Dear Chai,
See Ruby's note above. Also, stop moping. We love you, you're just a pain in the ass sometimes when you insist on staring at us while we eat. Not all of us are like Ryan and will feed you off our plates, you get your food and we get ours.
Love, Your Sister
Dear Fish,
Stop being so disgusting and making it so i have to clean your tanks so often. You guys start to smell far too fast.
Love Mum,
PS. I hope you're not too cold, i try to keep it heated high enough in here but I'm not always around to make sure.
Waking us up at 5am every day, even on weekends and holidays, is not very nice. Also staring at us and whining and tap dancing around the kitchen is not going to get your food to you any faster, settle down. One more thing, seriously let me dremel your nails, I'm better at it than mum and won't cut your quick.
Love, Your Sister
Dear Chai,
See Ruby's note above. Also, stop moping. We love you, you're just a pain in the ass sometimes when you insist on staring at us while we eat. Not all of us are like Ryan and will feed you off our plates, you get your food and we get ours.
Love, Your Sister
Dear Fish,
Stop being so disgusting and making it so i have to clean your tanks so often. You guys start to smell far too fast.
Love Mum,
PS. I hope you're not too cold, i try to keep it heated high enough in here but I'm not always around to make sure.
Dear Fish,
Where does your water go to? I swear half a gallon evaporates a week! Also, not all of you need to eat the sinking food, that's for the corry. You've got floating food.
Love Mom
Dear Izzy,
Don't get so flustered when I ask you for something new at food time! You already know how to do these tricks, don't get so stuck to routine that it takes you ten minutes to remember how to play dead because your food is down! Also, waking up after 10 am on the weekends more often would realllly be appreciated.
Love muchly
Mommy
Where does your water go to? I swear half a gallon evaporates a week! Also, not all of you need to eat the sinking food, that's for the corry. You've got floating food.
Love Mom
Dear Izzy,
Don't get so flustered when I ask you for something new at food time! You already know how to do these tricks, don't get so stuck to routine that it takes you ten minutes to remember how to play dead because your food is down! Also, waking up after 10 am on the weekends more often would realllly be appreciated.
Love muchly
Mommy
Dear Ella-
No, it's really NOT fun to huff and puff through the 8' privacy fence at the dogs (that you cannot even SEE) nextdoor.
No, cheeseballs are NOT a healthy meal replacement.
Yes, snow IS cold.
Begging is NOT cool.
Yes, I know how much you ADORE all your orbee balls, but it is unnecessary to surround yourself with them.
No, the hooman baby is NOT yours.
Love,
your hooman(s)
P.S.-
stay out of the office garbage.
kthnxbai.
No, it's really NOT fun to huff and puff through the 8' privacy fence at the dogs (that you cannot even SEE) nextdoor.
No, cheeseballs are NOT a healthy meal replacement.
Yes, snow IS cold.
Begging is NOT cool.
Yes, I know how much you ADORE all your orbee balls, but it is unnecessary to surround yourself with them.
No, the hooman baby is NOT yours.
Love,
your hooman(s)
P.S.-
stay out of the office garbage.
kthnxbai.
Hehehehehe...I'm lovin' this thread. You guys all have your dogs pegged to a T. I love that Laurelin.....not a squirrel. I can relate to that. One time, when it was dark and the dogs were out for their last potty break, Toker saw Jose` from a little distance and ran at him like he was prey. (I don't think they see that well in the dark like they say) It scared the bejeezus out of me. I hollered at her, "Toker! That's Jose`!" Then she stopped short and said, "Oh....darn. I thought he was a squirrel." :rofl1:
Dearest Dekka,
I do understand that other dogs are most offensive, particularly border collies. Its not their fault though and you should try tolerance. Swearing loudly at them at trials and threatening to eat them is NOT going to make them go away.
As well you do NOT own every piece of agility equipment you see, nor do you own the dock dog pools. You must share, those other dogs help pay the costs for the games we play. They are actually a GOOD thing.
Love Me
Dear Kat,
I know you are excited by other dogs. But screaming at them is not the way to go. Most people at these events are JRT savvy. They take your banshee screaming at their dogs as a sign that you are not friendly. This is why you dont' get to meet so many dogs. If you would play bow a bit more and scream a bit less they might believe me. Screaming at the rat however is just fine, but please refrain from throwing yourself bodily at the dresser.. you will hurt yourself.
Love Me
Darling Bounce,
I dont' know what it is about your claws, but they are sharp. Always. Please to not grip me with your paws and try to pull me down towards you. It hurts. I don't mind you jumping up for a hug when asked, I do mind sharp painful pulling gripping paws though.
Love Me.
Solo, yes YOU Mr Happy,
You have a name. When I holler it this means you come running. Trust me this will get you cookies. No one finds your fake hearing loss endearing. Its annoying.
Love Me
I do understand that other dogs are most offensive, particularly border collies. Its not their fault though and you should try tolerance. Swearing loudly at them at trials and threatening to eat them is NOT going to make them go away.
As well you do NOT own every piece of agility equipment you see, nor do you own the dock dog pools. You must share, those other dogs help pay the costs for the games we play. They are actually a GOOD thing.
Love Me
Dear Kat,
I know you are excited by other dogs. But screaming at them is not the way to go. Most people at these events are JRT savvy. They take your banshee screaming at their dogs as a sign that you are not friendly. This is why you dont' get to meet so many dogs. If you would play bow a bit more and scream a bit less they might believe me. Screaming at the rat however is just fine, but please refrain from throwing yourself bodily at the dresser.. you will hurt yourself.
Love Me
Darling Bounce,
I dont' know what it is about your claws, but they are sharp. Always. Please to not grip me with your paws and try to pull me down towards you. It hurts. I don't mind you jumping up for a hug when asked, I do mind sharp painful pulling gripping paws though.
Love Me.
Solo, yes YOU Mr Happy,
You have a name. When I holler it this means you come running. Trust me this will get you cookies. No one finds your fake hearing loss endearing. Its annoying.
Love Me
Nyx,
The world really is not out to get you. I promise. And if it is, I'll be sure to step in and protect you.
-mom
Tyr,
Morgan is spayed.
-mom
Morgan,
I adore you, but I don't enjoy having goose droppings in my lap. After you roll in them, please don't come trying to sit on me before you get cleaned up.
-mom
Ares,
Nyx is trying to figure out how to play nicely. Maybe you could give her a chance? And while you're at it, could you slow down just a little? You're not a pup any more. Also, when I pick you up to carry you up and down the icy stairs, it's because I know better than you how dangerous the ice can be.
-mom
The world really is not out to get you. I promise. And if it is, I'll be sure to step in and protect you.
-mom
Tyr,
Morgan is spayed.
-mom
Morgan,
I adore you, but I don't enjoy having goose droppings in my lap. After you roll in them, please don't come trying to sit on me before you get cleaned up.
-mom
Ares,
Nyx is trying to figure out how to play nicely. Maybe you could give her a chance? And while you're at it, could you slow down just a little? You're not a pup any more. Also, when I pick you up to carry you up and down the icy stairs, it's because I know better than you how dangerous the ice can be.
-mom
Dear Mu,
You are twenty pounds. You are not a big dog. Please stop inserting your entire head in Pixie's mouth, it makes me very nervous. Also, Murphy wanted me to tell you that his tail is not a tow rope.
Love Mom
Dear Murphy,
You do not get fed at 4:30. You also do not get fed at 5:00. You get fed at 5:30 just like always and I feel that it's not necessary to stare/paw at me from 4:30 on. And I'm pretty sure that barking does not qualify as a squirrel call. Perhaps being more sneaky and not barking like a maniac for twenty minutes would lure them in. K?
Love Mom
You are twenty pounds. You are not a big dog. Please stop inserting your entire head in Pixie's mouth, it makes me very nervous. Also, Murphy wanted me to tell you that his tail is not a tow rope.
Love Mom
Dear Murphy,
You do not get fed at 4:30. You also do not get fed at 5:00. You get fed at 5:30 just like always and I feel that it's not necessary to stare/paw at me from 4:30 on. And I'm pretty sure that barking does not qualify as a squirrel call. Perhaps being more sneaky and not barking like a maniac for twenty minutes would lure them in. K?
Love Mom
Dear Suzie:
I understand that you like to chase cats, but please could you give Ky a break? The poor cat doesn't have claws...
Love
You mommy
Dear Sign
I know that you get hungry, but you shouldn't lie and pretend to love everybody who walks into the kitchen, lying is bad, even for a cat.
Love: You loving owner, every so often mother
I understand that you like to chase cats, but please could you give Ky a break? The poor cat doesn't have claws...
Love
You mommy
Dear Sign
I know that you get hungry, but you shouldn't lie and pretend to love everybody who walks into the kitchen, lying is bad, even for a cat.
Love: You loving owner, every so often mother