Need Advice and Comfort Long sorry :(

[animalvr32]

I know this might not be the place to write this but I need peace of mind.
I know there are people that are going to judge me and I totally understand that.
We had a golden of almost 9 years who passed away last September.
Anyway, through the course of the last year of his life we tried to adopt a few dogs in the hopes that my dog would have a friend and obviously I needed to fullfill some need inside myself.
I have always loved dogs and thought that maybe I could find peace with myself if I had another in my home.
We had a 2 puppies that showed signs of aggression and I was afraid for my sons safety as well as our families.
They were rehomed. We also had a chocolate lab which my golden detested and she went to live with a friend of ours.
We tried later (after the golden passed) to adopt another puppy.
She had medical issues (we spent over 1000.00 on her) and to no avail.
I wasnt working at the time and she went back to the shelter.
I feel like such a failure. I am now in school to be a certified dog trainer.
I would like to have a resuce of my own someday.
Maybe I tried TOO hard to find a dog that would fit.
Maybe I didnt try hard enough. I feel awful, I am crying as I type this.
I know comments might be harsh and I expect that.
I dont think I am a bad person I just think I dont THINK before I act.
Thanks for listening.

 

[Dekka]

Maybe wait a bit and after some schooling you will be in a better position to try again? You should then have a better idea of what you can handle. The other way to go is to get a pup from a good breeder. LOL now that will make you think as they will grill you, but they will also make sure you get a pup YOU are happy with, and support you through any issues that might arise.

 

[ToscasMom]

I dont think I am a bad person I just think I dont THINK before I act.

Do you know how hard it is for someone to recognize this in themselves? The fact that you do is your key. In making these kind of lifetime decisions, maybe you might want to consider seeking the advice of someone who can help you logically look at things before making such big decisions. The only thing that confuses me is why you are going to school to learn dog training. I think what you it would be helpful to you if you were to take a few courses that force you to think things out logically, so that you won't go through life worrying about snap decisions that aren't well thought out affecting your happiness and the happiness of others around you. Just a suggestion.

 

[Zoom]

I think you mean well, you're just one of those people who doesn't have the best luck at picking out dogs. I've met a few others like that before and they finally started having someone else help them look at dogs because they kept misunderstanding what some of the behaviors they initially saw would end up meaning. I think that made sense...?

Why don't you tell us what you're looking for in a dog, down to the last "silly" detail?

 

[planet molosser]

WAIT TILL the kids are a bit older, when someone calls me for a puppy, i ask would you like a rescue? because we have dogs in need thru out the USA.

IF they have young kids under 10 most say and I agree, No now we want to buy a dog picked out by breed and inheritance of temperament by the breeder to suit our needs. But when the kids are older SURE we would take in a rescue for you.

Most rescues come with issues, some inherited from parents, other thur abuse and neglect. When adopting they need a commitment to work thru any issue. And with kids it becomes a choice of kids or the dog.

Maybe a SENIOR rescue would work give a dogs its last home, most of them would do anything and have less aggression issues thou more sometimes more health issues.

 

[animalvr32]

Thank you e1 for all the kind words. I can tell you that a puppy right now is NOT what I am looking for. I guess I tried to save these dogs and trying to do that in a home with a young child just wasnt the best idea.
As far as the dog training, I have always wanted to be able to train my own pets without paying someone else. Also, if I have a better understanding of what a dog is thinking and what to do to help the dog adjust to a family is better for everyone involved. I do want a resuce one day, when I have a bigger place, kids are bigger and I have more time to devote.
Anyway, I would love a dog that is housebroken, good with other pets and kids. I love big dogs! No aggression issues at all, loved to be walked, pet and loved.
Thanks again

 

[milos_mommy]

you did everything you could to find a puppy who fit in with your family, and when it didn't work out, you made sure to keep your family and the dogs safe. the suggestion of waiting until you finish school is a good one, you'll have more time and money to spend on a puppy.

also, since you have had problems with aggressive dogs in the past, and i don't know how old your son is but i'm guessing he's too young to understand and properly work with an aggressive dog, adopting an older dog? puppies temperments change as they mature, and with an older dog you'll know what you're getting (by older dog, i don't mean a senior, i mean a young adult).

my American Eskimo passed away last October at the age of 16, and now i have an aggressive JRT puppy. every day i struggle to make the right decisions to keep him and everyone around him safe. there are no children in my household and if there were, Milo would NOT live with us, it wouldn't be possible. if anyone judges you or thinks you are a bad person, they have CLEARLY never had to make a difficult decision and don't know what it's like. eventually everything will work out, you'll find a dog for your family. starting a rescue is a great goal. your son is growing up with a mother who is strong enough to make difficult decisions to protect her family and innocent animals.

i'd call your local shelter and tell them what kind of dog you're looking for. even if there isn't one there, if one comes in, they may let you know.

 

[ToscasMom]

Why don't you tell us what you're looking for in a dog, down to the last "silly" detail?

Great idea, Zoom! OP if you can learn the qualities of different breeds, then you could zero in logically on the best dogs for you.

 

[animalvr32]

Thanks again for all ofyour support and encouragement and advice.
I am really taking it the heart.
Thanks again - you are all very kind people.

 

[Fran27]

I just wanted to say though that puppies are rarely aggressive, sometimes they just play a bit too eagerly.

That being said, if you're decided on getting another puppy one day, you might want to take one that is an easy breed and from a good breeder, it would probably make things easier.

 

[ToscasMom]

Anyway, I would love a dog that is housebroken, good with other pets and kids. I love big dogs! No aggression issues at all, loved to be walked, pet and loved.

Well I hate to pimp my dog here, but have you considered a Collie? But you have to add some serious exercise to your list.

 

[ToscasMom]

I also want to tell you that I came to Chaz, puppy in tow, knowing NOTHING about training dogs. Today I have a well trained dog and MUCH of it has to do with Chaz. Just so you know, there are people here who REALLY can help a dog novice. I'm living proof. I am always learning here and what I learn is always good.

 

[bubbatd]

When I lost my last Golden a year ago I adopted a my Golden mix Ollie . I'd go with a rescue .... one you can evaluate now , not a puppy .

 

[BostonBanker]

Do you know if you have any rescues (not shelters) near you? I've found that in our area, the rescues tend to do a much better job of evalulating dogs and placing them appropriately than the shelters do. Our local shelter has such a bad reputation for placing dogs that I would never send someone to them.

If you can find a good rescue with a person who evaluates the dogs well (ask for references; I give them frequently for the rescue I used), explain just what you are looking for, and then stay open to their suggestions. Don't get stuck on specifics such a looks or color. I would never have chosen Meg for myself based upon her looks, and only took her home to try hesitantly after the rescue insisted she was perfect for me. And they were right! Sure, she's had a few issues (but then again, I see dogs that people got from good breeders as puppies with issues), but there isn't an ounce of human aggression in her. I can trust her with children of all ages, sizes and behaviors. She came housebroken, good off-leash, and quiet and mellow in the house.