This didn't really embarass me, but it would probably have embarassed a normal person.
Bear loved to go to Gatlinburg, especially in the evening. We'd go and just walk around and browse. The ex went with us one night and as we walked through a little outdoor mall called The Village,
he noticed that someone had left a half of a very large cheese pizza on the table at the little pizzeria, which was closed for the evening.
Now Bear had a passion for pizza, and the ex was in a good mood and decided it would be a real treat for Bear to eat the pizza. I tried to convince him not to give the whole thing to Bear, but was anyone listening to me???
Bear thoroughly enjoyed every bite, and it took him awhile to eat it because he was never a gobbler. He ate things slowly, savoring every bite and chewing his food well. After all, it wasn't like there was anything out there that was going to try to take it away from him, lol!
After he finished, we were window shopping in some of the little shops. There was another couple back there a few yards behind us, spending their evening the same way.
We stopped at looked in the window of the Oriental boutique. All of a sudden . . . BLLLUURRRKKKK! The ex jumped like he'd been shot, I got the giggles, and I thought the people behind us were going to hurt themselves trying not to laugh out loud. The ex blurted out, "What was THAT?" I couldn't resist. "I told you not to feed him all that pizza. That was a belch."
Well, we walked on a bit and looked in a few more windows. We were looking very intently at some jewelry in the window of the Scandinavian shop when Bear pawed me with some urgency. I looked down at him, and he looked up at me, and I nodded and we just slipped away quietly.
The other couple was still several yards behind us.
The ex was still looking intently at the jewelry, wondering if it was something HE could wear.
Suddenly, the ex started retching and coughing: "What is that SMELL??" He was rubbing his nose and his eyes were watering. Bear and I were quite a ways ahead by now, but the couple behind us had given up trying to stifle their amusement. They were guffawing. The man was bent over holding his sides, and the woman had tears running down her face. I think it was from laughing, but it may have been from the stench.
I looked at the ex. I really couldn't resist this time: "Pizza farts. ITOLD you not to give him all that pizza!"