Memory loss...

[Laurelin]

I need some help.

I am just struggling this year. One of the side effects of PCOS is memory issues and now that I know I have it it explains a lot. Something about insulin resistance and I don't know exactly.... Anyways... I just can't focus anymore and I can't remember anything. I especially have problems with math. I cannot remember formulas and definitions come test time. I used to ace math.... I didn't even study or do homework and I could look at it and know how to do it. Now I cram.... I can study for hours and hours for an exam and not pass. When I get to the test its like I haven't studied at all.

I just feel stupid all the time. I'm sure my professors think I'm a moron.

I don't know what to do. Supposedly it can get better with the PCOS meds or it sometimes doesn't.

I don't know if I should talk to someone about it.... I've not told anyone school related about the diagnosis.

I'm just worried I'm going to end up on probation at least partially because of this.

It does help that since I've talked to other people with this, I know that they have similar issues. At least I'm not the only one.

 

[bubbatd]

Please see a doctor !

 

[Laurelin]

I did.

 

[smkie]

you should talk to your teachers about it. THis might be the time for you to learn in other directions. I had to walk away from EMS perimedic for that very reason. IT is hard to accept our limitations especially when raised on teh belief that if we just try hard enough we can make it happen. As Dharma in Dharma and Greg would say...maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.

 

[Laurelin]

you should talk to your teachers about it. THis might be the time for you to learn in other directions. I had to walk away from EMS perimedic for that very reason. IT is hard to accept our limitations especially when raised on teh belief that if we just try hard enough we can make it happen. As Dharma in Dharma and Greg would say...maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.

Awww... thanks! I've thought about that too. It may be time to step back and reconsider a lot. It's just hard.

I don't know bout telling my profs. I may go talk to the undergrad advisor for my major (though he is one of my profs)

I just feel like such a failure.

 

[Island dog]

Don't let your judgment be 'off' because of this condition. If you start worrying, you won't think logically. If it's affecting your performance at school, you need to make those who are in authority aware of the situation. You didn't create this and only have so much control over the situation, concentrate on what is best to do at this time. Good luck.

 

[Island dog]

I just feel like such a failure.

Oh my god - nooooooo. This is not your doing.

 

[Mariana]

Hi Laurelin. I don´t usually post, but I lurk frecuently...I hope you don´t mind my response.
I am a vet student, I´m on my second year now. Last term, I started having problems with my left eye. I had blurry vision, I lost 3d vision, and I had A LOT of pain. I visited several doctors. They finally (after a month of studies) told my I had a problem in my optic nerve. They didn´t know why, what it could cause, if it was permanent....they didn´t know anything. I struggled a lot in school. My eye hurt a lot. I couldn´t see the blackboard. I couldn´t read, and I obviously could´t concentrate. I had constant headaches because I was forcing myself to see with one eye. I was worried because I didn´t know what I had (they initially thought I had multiple sclerosis). I felt terrible, but I didn´t want to leave school. And I didn´t want to tell my teachers, because I tought they would think I was mking everything up because I was lazy, or hypochondriac. I kept going to school, but I suffered all the time, and I didn´t learn anything. I was doing terrible in all the exams. As time passed, I was more and more stressed. I had more and more pain. They gave my cortisone to reduce the inflamation of my nerve. I felt weak but I went to school anyway. During my physiology class, I suddenly lost my vision. I couldn´t see ANYTHING. I became hysterical. They called my parents and they had to hospitalize me. I recovered sight in 1 hour, but I had the blood pressure really high, my heart wasn´t doing well, etc. The day after leaving the hospital, I went to school to talk to my physiology teacher, and explain to her what had happened. She was really nice to me. She sat and listened. I started crying and she just listened. When I finished, she told me she was going to tell me something I wouldn´t like. She told me I had to leave school, and let my body heal. She told me stress was probably making everything worse. She made me realise how I was pushing myself to do something my body could´t do. She told me I should drop out of that term and forget school...just relax, take my meds and think about what I wanted to do. If I was able, with the meds, to control the problem, then I could always come back to school. I would have lost 6 months, maybe a year...but who cares? A year more is nothing, in the long run. If we could´t control the problem, then I woulld have to rethink everything. Maybe I didn´t want to study veterinary. Or maybe there were alternative methods to learn the same things. Or maybe I would just learn to live with my problem and I wouldn´t stess out so much. That same day I talked to the rest of my teachers. They were all really nice (except one). They all told me I should leave, relax myself, concentrate on healing, and come back when I felt better. Only one teacher was awful to me. He told me I would never be a good vet if a left everything when problems arose.
I did leave school. I felt really weird at home doing nothing. I couldn´t read, watch tv, use the computer, or walk my dogs, because the light made my eye hurt a lot. But I stated feeling a lot better. My nerve was better and better. They took me off cortisone. I felt stronger and stronger. 5 months later, I went back to school to see what I could do. I lost 1 year...I should now be on my third year, and I am re-doing the second year, but at least I am back. And I feel so different! I enjoy classes so much. I am learning a lot. It is a lot easier. I am doing really well on my exams. I sometimes start having pain again. The doctors think I will always have to deal with this. I am going to an accupuncturist and an homeopathist. The minute I start feeling pain, I take a break and try to un-stress myself. I have had a lot of absences this term, because I sometimes feel tired so I let my body rest. Some teachers understand, and others don´t. But I have decided I rather live like this, and enjoy my school and life, than keep pushing myself to do things my body can´t really do.

I know this is really really long, and I know this isn´t exactly your case. But I wanted to share with you what my teacher shared with me. Sometimes one is so worried about doing everything the way you think you should, that you keep making everything worse. When you take a step back and stop pushing, everything falls in place.

I really hope you feel better soon....Mariana

 

[bubbatd]

^^^^ very good post ! Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than on others around us . Maybe " time out " would be worth it . You wouldn't be quiting , You are young and have your whole life ahead . Stress has great affect on the brain .....tends to block out things and doesn't pick and choose .

 

[Laurelin]

Oh my god - nooooooo. This is not your doing.

Thanks. It's just hard to deal with at times.

Mariana thank you so much for taking your time to write me that post. It has given me a lot to think about. I'm going to at the least talk to my 220 prof/advisor and see what he thinks I should do.

Luckily my parents are being more than supportive of me through all this.

And as always thanks so much, Grammy.

 

[smkie]

I didn't have a choice. THe building we lived in had black mold, i didnt' know it but that was what was causing my pneumonia. I would cough so hard in that pharm class that had that evil three step from apothocary to metric algebraic thing, everyone hated me because they couldn't hear. I fought my way through that but i couldn't fight the math. I could learn it, i could make it work on paper but 2 weeks later it was like i never saw it before. I could memorize the drugs no prob, the procedures no prob, but that equation and being sick, finished me off. I avoided math classes like the plague all the way through school, what ever part that makes my brain good at drawing, and understanding how to approach a problem that way is at a total loss when it comes to straight line math thinking. I never had such an ego blow, i never failed at something until i smacked up against this. I had already finished the emt course, and tested very well. I had two little children at home counting on me making an income, and all i got was sicker and sicker and finally i gave up. Backed up, and went a different direction. For me it was the best decision, my art would have never made it this far if i hadn't. AT the same time, it is hard to make a living as an artist no matter how good you are. Good luck with whatever you decide. Following my bliss was the right thing for me.

 

[bubbatd]

I'm so glad that you have your parent's support !! Too many could have put you on a guilt trip !

 

[Laurelin]

Luckily my parents are amazing.

 

[drmom777]

Whenever I had personal issues at any school I went to the Dean for Student Affairs. If you can explain the issue to him/her, they will tell you what to do from there. It's what they are there for.