If any church insisted I have counciling before hand I would tell them right where they could go! And that involves somewhere where the sun don't shine!
If we, as mature adults, have decided to get married do you not think that we have a pretty good idea on the pros and cons of each other???
It is downright rude if you ask me. Churchs are always trying to recruit and they do it by sticking thier noses into peoples private lives. That is fine if you are happy with some stranger deciding if you are compatible but I would not take that lying down!
I'm sorry you feel this way.. It seems to me you're too quick to judge what you have no ideas about!
My husband & I also got married in a Catholic Church. Since we're both practicing catholics, we wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't know about elsewhere, but in the Diocese where we belong, we were required to attend 6 2-hour sessions at least 3 months before getting married. The classes are offered year round, so it's convenience for everyone. By the way, I would call it " pre-wedding classes" instead of "counseling sessions" because it's nothing private.
but instead, we gathered together with about 30 couples who were also in the same boat as ours and listened to multiple speakers talking about different subjects of marriage life. I remember there was a lawyer talking about law-related subjects from the pros/cons of prenupture agreement, to the laws regarding domestic abuse, to the benefit of having a living will/trust, to how to title your house if you buy one together..
There were OB/GYN & Pediatric doctors talking about ways to practice natural planning, how to talk care of oneself & one's future children.. how & what to expect when you're pregnant & have a child.. There were also couples who've been living the marriage life for 40, 50 years that come to share about the ups and downs of marriage as they've experienced it, and the "secrets" of staying together through them all. Of course, there were Priests talking about the extreme importance of the Sacramental vow that is to last for a lifetime.
There was a 100 multiple-choice questions "test" at the end to see if whether the couples retained any of the information or that they were too busy dotting on each other & didn't pay attention
. If you pass, you get a "certificate". Since the pre-wedding class is mandatory, we needed to give a copy of this certificate to our Priest before he officiated the wedding.
The purposes of these classes are NOT to see whether you know about your future spouse (they assume you DO know about each other enough to want to get married to each other!!), but it serves to remind you of the importance of the Sacrament of marriage, one that will & should last a lifetime. It provided a glimpse of reality of the married life & called for the future grooms & birdes to reflect on their relationship, and really really think about whether they're 100% ready to take it to the next step.
So, I strongly believe that EVERYONE who're about to get married should attend these classes if they're offered. Maybe it will help keep the divorce rate down one family at a time..
ETA: I've heard that they've now changed from six 2-hour sessions (6 consecutive Saturday mornings!) to four 3-hour sessions (4 Saturday mornings) to shorten the duration of the course.
