Little changes.. but where are the big ones!?

[tessa_s212]

Ok, i have been kinda holding back on saying this, but post after post from you i have been getting the same impression, which may or may not be true...

It seems like you are unable to be happy for yourself for your own acheivements. For example, you KNOW most people are gonna say "omg, great job on the 88%, that IS a good grade", or "you are such a great person for helping out at the humane society", etc etc

I feel like a lot of your posts are fishing for compliments, which there isnt necessarily anything wrong with once in a while...but you need to learn to congratulate yourself, and be happy with your own acheivements.

I used to be the same way, and i still do it every once in awhile. I like my efforts to be acknowledged as much as the next person, but i have learned that it really doesnt make a difference what other people think. I am also someone who is not happy with less than 100%, but i have learned not to beat myself up over it...its not worth it. I know i have to balance my outside commitments with school.

I definately have done poorer on tests because i chose to stick with my commitment to volunteer instead of study...in the long run, seeing the looks on the kids faces (i volunteer at a therapeutic riding place, where children with disabilties are able to ride horses) are so much more worth my time and efforts than getting a few additional points on an exam.

Just out of curiosity, what are your goals in life?? What colleges are you looking to attend? Do you know what you want to be when you "grow up?"

I assure you, I do not do this for attention or compliments. I do this for advice and encouragement. Sometimes you get down in teh dumps after so many failures. But it is not praise and compliments I am fishing for, only advice and encouragement.

Goals.. hmm.. well, my ultimate goal in life is to live a meaningful life that affects otehrs in a positive way. I want to help other people, animals(dogs mostly), and I want to be happy as well.

As for college and career choice.. I'm not sure. I am thinking vet tech.. but that doesn't pay much. I am volunteering time this summer at a vet clinic to watch and help out where I can to get some experience to knwo whether or not it is right for me. But, I'm also thinking eventually after I graduate from college that I'd get training in grooming. I already do pet grooms here in my hosue for cheap prices.. so, I've got some knowledge and experience.

 

[tessa_s212]

As for the councelor idea.. that is a no.

This is just something I will learn and get through by myself. I've come this far.. (though actually not that far..) and I will get there eventually.

Afterall, today I only got a 90% on an Alg test. Still slightly dissapointed, but I did not beat myself up over my tiny mistakes. I of course still called myself stupid for the mistakes I made(they really were stupid mistakes and stuff I KNEW ..but my brain goes crazy every now and then and likes to mix up signs and fractions on me. I mean.. come on, is 5 + 3 really = 2? ).. but I did not dwell in the fact taht I made those mistakes.

I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should attempt a retest.. because now my average for tests is only 92% now.. and that is going to bring my grade down to an A-.. hmmm...

but, now awful tessa is procrastinating.. I've got 12 words for spanish to learn for a test tomorrow.. woops! (Normally I would have been studying for a week in advance, but this week has really been messed up. Last thursday his grandaughter was born at 32 weeks old and only 1 lb 4 ounces, so he drive 18+ hours all the way to TX to be with his daughter and grandaughter.. he got back on Wednesday.. and now so we don't get a week behind, he's been pushing us to take the tests. Sometimes you just can't help these things.. so, If I have to take a C or so for the team.. well, then, I can do that. But we need to keep on track.. and heck, if he could, I would have not minded one bit if he woudl have stayed longer and pushed us even harder to catch back up.)

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

Tessa.. are you a perfectionist? Just wondering

 

[tessa_s212]

Well, right now my room is a mess.. I don't even use my locker at school. My locker is the last in the hallway and I have open space of the hallway next to my locker, so I just throw all of my books on the floor. Annd... all my books are just piled in a drawer in my room(Idont' have a bookcase).. and.. ya..

The only thing I'm obsessive about really is my grades I think..

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

Well, right now my room is a mess.. I don't even use my locker at school. My locker is the last in the hallway and I have open space of the hallway next to my locker, so I just throw all of my books on the floor. Annd... all my books are just piled in a drawer in my room(Idont' have a bookcase).. and.. ya..

The only thing I'm obsessive about really is my grades I think..

Oh I see

I'd be pretty obsessive if I had to maintain a certain grade point average to be a cheerleader. My 2 older sisters were cheerleaders all through high school.

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

Oh hey.. here's a cheerleader video for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCq9UH7RzR8

 

[tessa_s212]

I'm not a cheerleader any longer.. I never updated again.. but after thinking on it, I realized my sudden reaction was not for MY own good, but because again I put others before my own health...

but come to think of it.. I was obsessive in cheerleading too. I had to be perfect. I was relentlessa nd NEVER slacked. SO perhaps I wasn't OUTSTANDINg, but that IS what made me the best cheerleader. My constant hard work paid off, and I never gave up or grew tired.. I had a job, and I was going to do it.

So, no more cheelreading. Instead I joined a youth group(non religion) for troubled teens, and hope to be a good influence and help these troubled kids somehow.

 

[MyIrishWolfie]

I'm not a cheerleader any longer.. I never updated again.. but after thinking on it, I realized my sudden reaction was not for MY own good, but because again I put others before my own health...

but come to think of it.. I was obsessive in cheerleading too. I had to be perfect. I was relentlessa nd NEVER slacked. SO perhaps I wasn't OUTSTANDINg, but that IS what made me the best cheerleader. My constant hard work paid off, and I never gave up or grew tired.. I had a job, and I was going to do it.

So, no more cheelreading. Instead I joined a youth group(non religion) for troubled teens, and hope to be a good influence and help these troubled kids somehow.

Oh.. and here I thought you were a cheerleader.. lol

I love that video.. those 2 are a hoot!!

 

[Richie12345]

The more I beat up on myself, the more stressed I get, and then the quality of my work lessens.. and that is where you start seeing those stupid Bs on tests.

Why don't you just take a break and hang out w/ friends every now and then if you are getting too mad. A break every once in awhile can be quite helpful.

 

[BigDog2191]

Did you read my post about thinking more analytically and setting goals for yourself? Those 2 can seriously get your life on track, it will give you the drive to get to your accomplishments.

 

[Dreeza]

Tessa, I came across this quote today and thought of you...this is exactly what i was trying to say in my post, but i have NO way with words....lol


"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
~Gandhi

 

[tessa_s212]

Did you read my post about thinking more analytically and setting goals for yourself? Those 2 can seriously get your life on track, it will give you the drive to get to your accomplishments.

I already do think analytically. For example, after I got that 88% on that test, I ask the teacher if I could somehow still get a few extra credit points, I double checked all of my homework to ensure I could still keep my grade at an A, I stopped talking so much in my studyhalls, and if I had just the tiniest bit of doubt I understood teh stuff, I asked my teacher. I'm still waiting to see if it has paid off. We took an Open Note quiz(they are HARD, much harder than the tests) and Monday I have a test. I think I did very well, and I am confident with the material.

And I always set goals. I actually find it very hard to never set goals, and certainly can't understand how other people my age can live a life without having goals.

 

[BigDog2191]

I already do think analytically. For example, after I got that 88% on that test, I ask the teacher if I could somehow still get a few extra credit points, I double checked all of my homework to ensure I could still keep my grade at an A, I stopped talking so much in my studyhalls, and if I had just the tiniest bit of doubt I understood teh stuff, I asked my teacher. I'm still waiting to see if it has paid off. We took an Open Note quiz(they are HARD, much harder than the tests) and Monday I have a test. I think I did very well, and I am confident with the material.

And I always set goals. I actually find it very hard to never set goals, and certainly can't understand how other people my age can live a life without having goals.

If you've got all this figured out and good to go, then I really don't see what the problem is.

 

[tara]

Two weeks ago I did bad on a Chemistry test(stupid 88%s) and I got really upset. I studied hard for that test and actually thought I did well.. so, when Igot the test back, it was almost to the point where I could have cried.

:yikes: I would KILL SOMEONE if I could get an 88% in chemistry!!!! I got a 58% last year in my chemistry class. I studied for the exam for about 16 hours in total. No joke and I'm not being sarcastic!! And let me tell you I was just mighty happy that I didn't fail. I get 90's in all other classes other than the sciences and math so I don't beat myself up about it because I know that those subjects just aren't my strong point, and they aren't included in what I want to do with my life. I wish I could get marks like you do.

(studied 5 hours for a history test I had on tuesday, I got a.........39% I almost puked I was so mad. The day BEFORE the test I could have told you how King Louis XIV laid the foundations of absolutism, but apparantly not the day of the test)

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

:yikes: I would KILL SOMEONE if I could get an 88% in chemistry!!!! I got a 58% last year in my chemistry class. I studied for the exam for about 16 hours in total. No joke and I'm not being sarcastic!! And let me tell you I was just mighty happy that I didn't fail. I get 90's in all other classes other than the sciences and math so I don't beat myself up about it because I know that those subjects just aren't my strong point, and they aren't included in what I want to do with my life. I wish I could get marks like you do.

(studied 5 hours for a history test I had on tuesday, I got a.........39% I almost puked I was so mad. The day BEFORE the test I could have told you how King Louis XIV laid the foundations of absolutism, but apparantly not the day of the test)

Lol I would kill for an 88% too. Its passing so its awesome in my opinion.


Tessa your gonna wear yourself thin stressing over all this.