Leaving home alone

[neamhni]

i know this is an overdone subject, so i hope everyone will forgive. I've done some searching of the forum, so i have some ideas, but every case is different so i was hoping for some input.

Jumbo is a neutered male pitbull/lab mix. He is about 10-12 months old, but i'm not sure because was given to us by some friends who could not keep him, who got him from some family members who could not keep him. He is sensitive and somewhat skiddish, but very gentle. He knows his name, he knows 'come', 'sit' and 'down' (about 80%). He isn't the brightest knife in the drawer but he's really a good boy. We've had him for about a week and a half, but he knew us from when we visited our friends who used to own him.

Jumbo rides in the car extremely well and can even happily sit in the car while we go into the store. i don't know where/how he learned this, but our friends told us they'd done it and we tried it. He's an angel. He just sits in the front seat and waits patiently.

However, Jumbo cannot be left home alone. Four times we've left him home, no more than 2 hours, and he had pooped inside three times. Once i left him for 5 minutes as i went to the store around the corner and everything was fine. Tonight, he was taken outside, he pooped outside and then we realized we needed to run to the store. i thought 'surely he won't poop in the house- he just went and we won't be gone long'. We were gone for 45 minutes and there was a nice pile waiting.

Okay, so here's the rub. Jumbo has never been crate trained. One of the times we left him home we put up our collapsible kennel and tried to lure him in with toys, peanut butter and wet dog food, respectively. He would have none of it (scared). When we tried to force him, he used all his might to fight us. When we finally got him in, he looked terrorized.

Ultimately, i *don't want* Jumbo to have to stay in a crate while we are gone. He is good in every other way- he doesn't chew up anything or destroy anything, no barking. Just poop. Not even pee- like he had to go and couldn't. Just poop.

So if i can avoid crating him in the first place (especially since he doesn't need it for any other reason and he isn't used to it), i'd like to. We never make a big deal out of leaving or arriving, and we've played with our keys and such even when we aren't leaving. i've even left him with toys filled with wet dog food when we leave and he seems semi-distracted by it.

How do we fix this? i don't work, so he's never left alone for long periods and he goes for a walk every day. He is never punished for pooping in the house- we always move him outside while i clean it up. Also, the floor is linoleum, if that's pertinent.

Sorry this is so long-winded. i just know that the more information the better!

Thanks in advance!

 

[mrose_s]

okay. first thing i noticed, don't force your dog if he's frightened. it wont make it better. thats all.

could you leave him outside while your gone shortly?

is he complet;ey housetrained when your home?

do you have a small room like a laundry you could leave him in? you could put him in their sometimes and play with him. feed him in their. and such. its can be his safe place. then maybe, play with him and go out to get a treat for him. come back 30 seconds later and more fun. very gradually extend the times your away from the room. then leave him in there sometimes while your still at home.

just give him a safe spot thats fun to be in, thats his and maybe he won't want to mess it up just because your gone.

thats all i can think of right now. mayeb someone else will have better ideas.

hope it helped maybe

 

[Gempress]

That sounds like seperation anxiety to me. I think that because you're home all day, he's not used to ever being alone.

Does he usually follow you around the house? If so, I'd try starting small. Maybe by simply closing him out of the room you're in for a few moments. Open the door again before he gets too anxious. Gradually increase the time until he doesn't make a fuss about being alone. From there, try *short* outings away from the house. Maybe just get in your car and do a few circuits around the block. As he gets used to it, increase the time.

If you do a search on the forum or on the Internet for "seperation anxiety", you'll find a lot of good advice.

 

[Doberluv]

okay. first thing i noticed, don't force your dog if he's frightened. it wont make it better. thats all.

could you leave him outside while your gone shortly?

is he complet;ey housetrained when your home?

do you have a small room like a laundry you could leave him in? you could put him in their sometimes and play with him. feed him in their. and such. its can be his safe place. then maybe, play with him and go out to get a treat for him. come back 30 seconds later and more fun. very gradually extend the times your away from the room. then leave him in there sometimes while your still at home.

just give him a safe spot thats fun to be in, thats his and maybe he won't want to mess it up just because your gone.

thats all i can think of right now. mayeb someone else will have better ideas.

hope it helped maybe
__________________

Good ideas Mrose. Good post.

I think you've done a lot of things just right, such as jingling your keys at other times and trying to be gradual with the time he's left alone. I'd start over and make it even more gradual, like Mrose described.

Another thing you could try is music. Don't play music when you're going to leave. That is what most people do. And what I believe can happen, is the dog begins to pair the music with the awful thing....your leaving. So, every time he hears music, it means, "Oh no! She's leaving. This is terrible." Music equals terrible.

Instead, play the music while you're there with him in his little room and turn it off when you leave him in the room, but when you're still at home. Do that for a while until he associates the music with your being there, with his good, secure feelings. Get those two things paired together, good and solid before you begin to leave him with the music on.

Eventually, if you just play the music when you're gone, he'll begin to loose that association with it and the happy feelings of your being home, so play music also when you're with him in the room and not every time you're out of the room or house. In other words, retain it in a strong way, that it is associated with feelings of security. Then it can become a bit of an assistance in calming him when you leave.

I wouldn't make it too grand of a time when you're in the room with him, such as giving him treats because he then associates the good time with your being there, and it makes your leaving that much more rotten, in contrast.

I have a feeling that he doesn't have severe seperation anxiety. He's not chewing, scratching or crynig, right? So, it may not even be that. Or it may be, but not too bad. Are his stools normal consistancy? Are you gone every day at regular times or are you home most of the time?

Forcing a dog into a crate, as I'm sure you realize now, is not a good way to make him like it. There are conditioning exercises to help a dog get use to a crate. But I understand that since he is well behaved in every way, you don't want to lock him up in a little box....totally understandable. However, it isn't a bad idea to get a dog use to a crate, just in case you need to use one some day or if he has to stay in a smallish cage at the vet's or something.

What about a room which is very small that he has food and water and a bed in, like the bathroom?

I don't know what else to say. I guess, if he's on linoleum, that's a good thing. LOL. Maybe some newspapers in one corner, but that is risky in case he thinks it's OK to go inside, then it could turn into him going inside at other times and other places.

Well, try the more gradual approach when you're seperated from him, maybe even more interactive toys (google it), the music idea. Or try not to feed him very much before you go somewhere and make up for it later when you're home. (?) Good luck to you.

 

[neamhni]

okay. first thing i noticed, don't force your dog if he's frightened. it wont make it better. thats all.

That's *exactly* what i was thinking. He looked so traumatized that i knew it was just the wrong thing to do.

We don't really have any rooms like that... maybe the bathroom. Or maybe a child's gate... but he's really big, so he may just jump over it.

Like i said, he's only been with us about a week and half, so maybe he just isn't comfortable enough in the house yet.

Thanks for replying!

 

[neamhni]

I think you've done a lot of things just right, such as jingling your keys at other times and trying to be gradual with the time he's left alone. I'd start over and make it even more gradual, like Mrose described.

i'm beginning to think that this is the answer, but i guess i'm afraid it won't work. Not a good enough reason not to try it though. The worst that can happen is i won't be any worse off than i am now!

Another thing you could try is music. Don't play music when you're going to leave. That is what most people do. And what I believe can happen, is the dog begins to pair the music with the awful thing....your leaving. So, every time he hears music, it means, "Oh no! She's leaving. This is terrible." Music equals terrible.

In our house the television is on almost all the time, so when we leave, we always leave the television on. Would you consider this the same thing? OR do you think the music would be better?

I have a feeling that he doesn't have severe seperation anxiety. He's not chewing, scratching or crynig, right? So, it may not even be that. Or it may be, but not too bad. Are his stools normal consistancy? Are you gone every day at regular times or are you home most of the time?

He doesn't chew or scratch. He cries a very little bit (i stood outside and listened). He doesn't chew, scratch or cry when he's left in the car. He loves to look out the windows of the car- maybe allowing him to look out the window at home would help? Since he had pooped *right* before we left yesterday (and i was, therefore, *sure* he wouldn't poop while we were gone) and he pooped inside anyway, i assume it's mild separation anxiety. His stools are healthy. i am home most of the time and do not leave at regular times.

However, it isn't a bad idea to get a dog use to a crate, just in case you need to use one some day or if he has to stay in a smallish cage at the vet's or something.

Extremely good point.

What about a room which is very small that he has food and water and a bed in, like the bathroom?

i can try this. Could he gradually be allowed out to roam the house?

I guess, if he's on linoleum, that's a good thing. LOL.

It's a very good thing- it's so easy to clean up that it's doesn't really bother me all that much, but it makes the husband angry and just generally isn't behavior i want to condone!

Well, try the more gradual approach when you're seperated from him, maybe even more interactive toys (google it), the music idea. Or try not to feed him very much before you go somewhere and make up for it later when you're home.

i'm going to try all of these things. Thank you SOOO much for your insight and advice. i really appreciate you taking the time to respond to me!

Here's a picture of Jumbo, to thank you for your help!

 

[ekahuna27]

Wow! honestly, I dont normally like the Brendel look...but Jumbo is absolutely gorgeous! I'm sorry for your pain, I totally understand. I went through the same thing with my Rhodesian Ridgeback. She was completely housetrained - it was though she was acting out. She would cry and scratch at the door until her nails were raw. She would poop everywhere!!! It was very sad and very frustrating! Now, I know you said that you dont like the idea of crate training. However, that was the ONLY thing that worked for me. I crate trained my dog, Sarah, and kept her in there while away. At first, she was very reluctant and didnt want to go in the kennel. To get her to go in, I would throw a treat in the back of it while I was home and then just left the door open for her to investigate. This took a lot of patience, I'm not going to lie. Eventually, she investigated the place on her own and grew comfortable with it. I put it in the living room so she would get used to it and it was always near me...it was like her own little sanctuary. (A HUGE kennel in the living room doesnt really go with the decor of the house, I know! LOL) Once she was comfortable with it, I would shut the door and then open it right away, then I would leave it shut for a couple minutes, a half hour, and so on. This process took probably about a month. I kept Sarah in the crate for several months after that when I would leave the house. EVentually, she got over the idea of me leaving and found the kennel to be a safe cozy spot for her to relax while I was away. As soon as her anxiety over me leaving had subsided, I was able to leave her out in the house on her own. It was a lengthy process...about three months. However, now she lazily lies around the house while I'm gone without any protest.
Good luck!

 

[Doberluv]

I think the TV is the same sort of idea. I think after some time of feeling the security of a small, comfortable room with his toys, as he gets use to spending small amounts of time alone, he'll come to a place where he can gradually be given the run of the house. You know....considering you've only had him a week and a half, he may understandably be stressed and trying to adjust to his new life. Stress can cause the bowels to work overtime. LOL. And he just can't hold it sometimes. I'd give him some time and he may well over come this mostly just by getting settled in.....with a little help from you. Let us know. He is very pretty btw.

You're not free feeding, are you? Be sure and feed on a schedule, but leave water available at all times. Just wanted to be sure of that because free feeding makes it really difficult to guage when they might have to go and they sort of go more often, I think.

 

[neamhni]

You're not free feeding, are you? Be sure and feed on a schedule, but leave water available at all times. Just wanted to be sure of that because free feeding makes it really difficult to guage when they might have to go and they sort of go more often, I think.

Nope- not free feeding. The people who owned him before were, but i put him on a feeding schedule because he's not very food-motivated and i want him to feel like he has to work for it!

i'm a little stumped at this point- should i leave him in the bathroom (with amenities of course) while he's alone or should i try the leaving him free in the house but leaving him for very short periods of time and gradually extend the time?

 

[mrose_s]

I wouldn't make it too grand of a time when you're in the room with him, such as giving him treats because he then associates the good time with your being there, and it makes your leaving that much more rotten, in contrast.

lol you could try stuffing treats uder the door to him

 

[Melissa_W]

Kai cannot be trusted in the house because of his chewing habit. He hates to be crated, so we gate him in the kitchen. He can look out the window and walk around and play with his toys. He doesn't mind it too much. If you have a puppy proof room, that would be ideal.

 

[Doberluv]

Nope- not free feeding. The people who owned him before were, but i put him on a feeding schedule because he's not very food-motivated and i want him to feel like he has to work for it!

Good! That is the best way IMO. Make the little suckers work for their keep. LOL.

i'm a little stumped at this point- should i leave him in the bathroom (with amenities of course) while he's alone or should i try the leaving him free in the house but leaving him for very short periods of time and gradually extend the time?

It's really up to you. I thought that with the pooping, it would be better for you to keep him in a smaller area. And also, if he does poop, he might be less apt to in a small room.....might be....no guarantees at all on that. But it really probably won't make a huge difference and since he's not scratching or chewing things........You know your dog best. If you think he'd feel more secure in the bathroom, maybe that's the way to go. If you think that would stress him out more than being in the kitchen or wherever.....then maybe it's best where he's less stressed. It's really up to you.

I think either way though, building up the time he is alone very gradually is important.

 

[neamhni]

It's really up to you. I thought that with the pooping, it would be better for you to keep him in a smaller area. And also, if he does poop, he might be less apt to in a small room.....might be....no guarantees at all on that. But it really probably won't make a huge difference and since he's not scratching or chewing things........You know your dog best. If you think he'd feel more secure in the bathroom, maybe that's the way to go. If you think that would stress him out more than being in the kitchen or wherever.....then maybe it's best where he's less stressed. It's really up to you.

I think either way though, building up the time he is alone very gradually is important.

Ahh okay. Well i definitely appreciate your advice- it's been extremely insightful and helpful! Now i feel more confident about the best direction to go in addressing this problem. Thank you so much!

 

[Doberluv]

You're so welcome, but don't thank me yet. You better wait and see if anything works. LOL. I'm sure, given a little time, things will level out. Keep us posted and good luck.