just a rant

[a.baker]

O.k. it was my daughters 5th birthday. Now for each of my nieces and nephews b days I always send a card with money in it, for us its a huge deal. It usually means dipping into grocery or gas money. My mom and dad visit all the kids on their b-days. Well my daughter and niece share a b day so I sent my niece a card. I talked to my mom today and found out they visited my niece for her b day. They never visited my daughter. My niece got spoiled big time and of course my brother and sil never sent my daughter a b day card or called or nothing. My sis also some how forgot but remembered the other nieces b day. Now on b days I even remember the adults too.

So my mom and dad said the gas is too mush to see my daughter. Hello they are not poor by any means and drove all over the place to shops and craft shows this weekend and spent more on gas doing that than they would of seeing my daughter. You know we only moved back from FL. when we had my daughter thinking it was good for the G&G relationship. Here we are an 1 1/2 hr. drive away and they complain about gas. I would like to see them living in my shoes for a week on my budget and than seeing what its really like trying to afford gas to go to work!!!

So I say to my mom "Have Chelsea come over for the whole weekend and have her spend the night, she would love that" again the stupid complaint about gas! Life's too short to be cheap and selfish!!!!

I also don't know how many times I tried to get together and have with my family but they never make an effort or turn me down. They have no interest in me or my family, not just about b days here but that hurts too. They are so self absorbed but they are the ones to preach about family... go figure. Yeah and they will be the ones wishing after someones gone

I'm just hurt and angry like usual. I have others that act more like family than they do. Thanks for letting me rant

 

[Pam111]

I'm sorry. I know the feeling and it sucks

 

[Beanie]

Ugh... that is very hurtful. *HUGS*

 

[Suzzie]

that's kind of low, not wanting to see your granddaughter on her birthday. That's one of those days where the cost of gas shouldn't matter, not when they're so close.

 

[a.baker]

So the other kiddos get visits and such because they all live within 15 minutes of each other? Gimme a break.

Kids grow too fast. If I was grandma I would take her to spend the night whenever the parents would let me. Thats the best part about being that age is being a grandparent and having time to do so.

I agree! They are the ones that guilt tripped us into moving back from FL. We agreed it would be better that way for our daughter as well. Well goes to show... it was just my dad in one of his controlling issues I guess. So many times I have tried to get a close connection with my family and they dodge things like wanting to talk about the weather or something. Its always later with them, ARGH!

You know I have had complete strangers be there for me more than they were at times. It hurts when they don't care and you never gave them a reason not to either and have went out of your way in other times to make the steps, you know.

Half the family keeps their distance because I don't know why, kinda fake. And the other half talks about things they are buying or have bought or what they have going on ect. selfish. They could care less about you unless your listening to them and wanting to talk about them.

 

[Gena]

Well, I'm probably an evil person, but no way on this earth would I keep sending cards and $$ to people who can't even be bothered to acknowledge my (or my kid's) existence. ESPECIALLY when it becomes a hardship on my immediate family. Forget that!

It is hard to just walk away from people who are supposed to love you. But when the alternative is allowing them to make you feel like you do right now, who needs them? I finally told my dad to take a flying leap about 9 months ago. The freedom from guilt trips and drunken pathetic-ness is amazing. It hurts that I lost the man I wanted him to be, but it hurts less than having the man he is in my life.

 

[eddieq]

I have a great relationship with my parents, but they take the tactic of "we'll come if it's convenient for us". When we told them we were pregnant with our 2nd and said what the due date was, mom said "June isn't good for us. You know we have our annual eastern star conference." I almost said "You know, mom, I wasn't thinking about you at the time we got pregnant."

Basically, it's their loss if they won't make time to spend with their grandkids. I feel for you.

 

[a.baker]

I know I have thought about not sending them cards too but than I think of the kids and I feel bad for them because I want them to know I love them and care about them. It is a very hard toss up.

When whats supposed to be family acts like this for their own selfish reasons in all directions it hurts a lot. I have probably already said that but it does. I was talking to my hubby about it tonight and this whole thing really gets to him too. I kinda feel like the one who was robbed and beaten and my family just looks and walks on by and leaves me. Than someone else with an actual heart notices me and reaches out there hand to help me up. You know I have nothing to offer anyone but a listening ear and a true friendship and I think thats what matters most family or not. I would do whatever I could for anyone without thinking twice.

Thats the thing, it may just be a card or phone call but the acknowledgment of my daughters b day is what matters and takes 2 seconds, its like "do you care, she would be so excited to see you or hear from you". My daughter is pleased with anything. I know it may not seem like much but its the little things that are the bigger things and count the most.

 

[a.baker]

It is its all selfishness. (((HUGS)))