Just a rant

[Southpaw]

My family is driving me insane.

Juno is just barely even 4 months old and she's expected to be a perfect dog already. But does anyone help me with any sort of training? No. I can do the basic commands by myself and I have been (so far we have sit, down, up, stand, off, and leave it under control... stay and come are a work in progress but she's doing good). Who knows whether or not she'll ever obey anyone other than me, but whatever.

The problem comes when we're dealing with behaviors that I don't want. The biggest one is the biting. It was tolerable for a while but now I think we're at the point where she should be understanding that her teeth don't belong on human skin. And guess what? She doesn't bite ME. Because I don't allow it and I get up and walk away whenever she tries. But everyone else encourages it. My mom will kiss and pet her while she's being chewed on and my brother thinks it's ridiculous that he should have her play with an actual toy. And yet, when they've had enough of the biting, they get ticked off and question me about why "my" dog bites all the time. She wouldn't bite all the time if they didn't make it fun for her. I just don't even know what to do because whenever I try telling them what to do, they just excuse it as normal puppy behavior... which yes, it is normal, but I don't want to just sit around hoping it's something she grows out of.

She gets what I call "sassy" too where she'll bark if I tell her to leave something and she also barks for attention. Really I'd rather just ignore it and give her the attention she wants once she's quiet. But nope, no one else wants to listen to it so they'll give her attention to quiet her... or they just yell at me to get her to be quiet.

I'm just sick of no one else doing anything for her. She shouldn't have to be crated so I can take a shower--my mom is fully capable of supervising her for 20 minutes. Or my mom always uses the excuse that she can't watch Juno while she's working. So how come she still doesn't help out on weekends or after work? No one WANTS to. What they don't understand is that I don't WANT to either, but it NEEDS to be done. I don't like sacrificing my entire summer for her; I don't like getting up at 7am and having to go to bed early, I don't like going for walks when it's hot and humid out and I don't like having to entertain and supervise her. But that's what a puppy's all about. Even if someone could just take her for a walk, that would be a nice break for me. They will go on walks WITH me and Juno but only twice has someone taken her without me. Quite honestly I wanted to go through a boxer rescue but it was my mom who wanted to go the puppy route. And I'm afraid we're going to end up with an out of control dog because I can't undo all the reinforcing of negative behaviors that goes on all day.

Yikes... I wasn't expecting this to be so lengthy. Cookies to anyone that read it. I just really needed to complain. I love my dog but some things just get 100000x more frustrating to deal with when everyone is yelling at you to do something about it.

 

[Xandra]

I feel ya... I have the same problem here.

My father will feed the dog tidbits. Feeds it, feeds it, feeds it... so the dog hangs around him, and eventually he trips on it or it steps on his feet and then he's all "Have you fed this dog? Look how hungry it is, it keeps following me around." Then I explain (and I have done this over 3 times) that he is encouraging the dog to hang around him by feeding it constantly. And he can even feed it constantly without a problem if he trains it to STAY BACK. But no, he feeds it and doesn't do anything about the dog following him until AFTER the dog has pissed him off. You'd think he would've learned by now? Jeeezzz.

I take it this is a family dog? Or is it a "family" dog that was initiated by you? Or is it actually YOUR dog?

I have come to the point of telling him: Look. If this is all my dog and I bare complete repsonsibility for its actions- and you constantly remind me that is indeed the case- then don't feed it. Ignore it. Not hard. If you want some sentimentalies out of feeding it tidbits, then you can train it to leave you alone as well.

Not that he cares but that's how I feel anyways.

 

[suthrnladi]

well sweetie, as a parent, I have to ask.... who's puppy is she? I know it's upsetting sometimes, but one of the things we parents try to do is teach responsibility. Ok, I know sometimes we go WAY overboard in that department....but that's also our job....to get on your nerves. LOL. I'm really sorry no one will help you out....but think back to when you wanted a dog, what promises did you make? From previous experience I'm guessing it went something like this....I'll walk her, feed her, pay her vet bills, take care of her, train her, I'll do EVERYTHING for her....right?
It also looks like mom and your brother are working against you on the whole biting thing....sit them down and ask for their help, tell them that you are trying so hard, and that you don't want the dog to chew and bite, so you need them to cooperate PLEASE.
As far as crating while you shower when someone else could watch her, ask yourself this, IF she has an accident in the house, what's going to happen, will it be YOUR fault (not really, but will you be blamed). I always crate Shane when I shower, leave or am not watching him for some other reason, even though I have a son and husband perfectly capable of watching him for a few minutes, but I don't want to have to listen to the ranting if he has an accident or chews up something.
I'm not sure why mom wanted to go the puppy route, but now that the puppy is there, you have to deal with her, ask your mom for some help, and try to have logical reasons ready for why you need her help.
Ok, my answer is almost as long as your rant, sorry. Hope it helps alittle.

 

[babymomma]

I dont think a parent, should EVER give a child or teenager FULL responsibilty for a dog. They should never expect that. As a Parent they should KNOW that being consistant with training is the only way it will work. It never works with kids to have double standards (I.E 1 person is the bad guy and enforcing rules while the other lets the child go off doing whatever she likes when ever she likes.) That makes for a bratty child IMO.

Why should it be different with dogs?

If the kid is supposed to have full responsibilty, And make the dog a "Good dog" .. Then they shouldnt be able to touch it, look at it, speak to it. They should ignore it. Simple as that.

 

[Southpaw]

She's supposed to be a family dog. She's certainly not "MINE" because my mom has said no way, no how do I get her when I move out. I wanted another boxer after we had Molly put to sleep but it was my mom who began the search for one--we all wanted another one.

Actually, about an hour before we went to visit the breeder for the first time, my mom started getting a little hesitant because she didn't want all the responsibility to fall on her. I told her that wouldn't be the case, and that clearly hasn't been the case--but at the same time, I also wasn't expecting everything to fall on me! I knew I'd definitely be in charge of housebreaking and most other training aspects since everyone thinks I "know so much"... but I thought my family could at least play with her or at least cooperate with me during training. It just gets a little tiring when I'm the only one that feeds her, trains her, walks her, plays with her, and then everyone wonders why she's a little bit naughty or why she won't listen to them.

Unfortunately the fear of her having an accident is not the reason why no one else will watch her for a while. She hasn't had an accident in weeks and she sits by the door when she needs to go out. The most naughty thing she does inside is eat the cat food, and if that's put up on the counter then the issue is eliminated. It's really just because they don't want that short interruption in their day where they might have to get on the floor and play with her, or just keep an eye out on what she's doing.

My father will feed the dog tidbits. Feeds it, feeds it, feeds it... so the dog hangs around him, and eventually he trips on it or it steps on his feet and then he's all "Have you fed this dog? Look how hungry it is, it keeps following me around."

Ha, my dad is similar. He gives both the dogs a treat every single night he gets home from work. The dogs can't distinguish between him coming home from work and him just coming home from Target, so they get excited and swarm him every time he walks in the door. And he'll tell them to get away and he doesn't understand why they get so worked up. Well duh, if you brought me home Dairy Queen or something every night I'd be excited to see you too!

If the kid is supposed to have full responsibilty, And make the dog a "Good dog" .. Then they shouldnt be able to touch it, look at it, speak to it. They should ignore it. Simple as that.

Oh God, don't I wish. That would simplify my job.

If I think about it she's probably not a bad puppy. She might even be considered easy. But any time she does have a "moment" it gets so frustrating because I try so hard to keep everyone happy... so if she does jump up or something, it bothers me a hundred times more than it probably would normally. And at only 4 months old... we have a loooot of frustrating moments ahead of us.

 

[babymomma]

Oh hun im sorry.. I have the same problem.. Im supposed to stop keely from Barking at people. Being a protective B*tch and lunging at people..

But yet they stiill dont enforce the house rules?! Thats the only way to stop her and they are NO help at all.

On a walk, She doesnt bark at ONE person with me. I was on bike the other day and mom was walking her. SHE WENT BALISTIC every time we saw a person.

Oh well, At least I dont get embarrassed over her behaviour now. Cuase Im rarely around when it happens..

Sorry for my little rant ..

 

[Southpaw]

Feel free to rant away lol.

Oh yeah another problem is that she's a digger. She won't dig where there's grass, but if there's loose dirt or mulch, she's all over it. And we have a lot of mulch in our backyard. She likes to bring bully sticks out there and bury them, dig them up, bury them, dig them up, etc. for hours. Anyway one time my mom looked out the window and saw her digging where her flowers are. So she turns to ME and tells me "Juno's digging in my flowers!" So I told my mom to go stop her--why do I always have to be the one to stop her from doing something?

But when I suggested maybe we should get her a sandbox and teach her that that's the only place she can dig, my mom thought it was absurd and she doesn't want to do it. I can't win!

 

[Lolas Dad]

When it comes to training a dog that's in a family no one certain person should be fully in charge of training the dog. The dog should be trained by everyone in the house and everyone should be training the dog the same way. Everyone needs to be on the same page when it comes to training and being responsible for the dog. It should be a shared responsibility for everyone in the house. Not just the person who wanted the dog and in order to get the dog said they would be fully responsible for it as happens and was mentioned above as an example.

As for the sand box that is a great idea to have the dog dig in one certain spot and a sand box would be a good idea. The sand box does not need to be a structural part of the yard it can be a kids plastic sand box for that matter so that this way the sand box can be removed when you and the dog move out of the house and taken with you.

One way you might be able to convince your mother about the sand box is to tape the episode or episodes where Gloria Stillwell shows people that sand boxes work on the show "It's me or the dog" and if and when you are finally able to get a sand box make sure it can be covered when the dog is not using it. This way stray cats will not use it as a litter box.

 

[copperdogsmom]

I have the same problem.I moved back in with the parents when my dog was 6 months old.I work all day and hes with them but they do no training. I do.My mother spoils him rotten then if he barks alot or something i get told about it when I get home.Like what can I do after the fact.They get mad at me because they feel hes not trained but hes perfect out of the house and when we are at my boyfriends.I have told them what to do and they refuse say nope wont work.I tried crating him when I'm gone but they just let him out they think its mean.Well I'm moving out in sept with my best friend and so that will be much better for him and me because at least I know my friend will listen about his training.He is almost 3 so this has been going on too long.

 

[Dogs6]

I'm 13 and all 6 dogs in the house are my responsibilty. I slept in this morning to 11am and when I got up all the dogs where outside whining because no one went to the effort to feed them. of course when I think about it I should be glad they let them out. Only one of the dogs is actually admitted to be mine. Two of the dogs are supposed to be family dogs. One is supposed to be shared between my sister and me. One is supposed to be my sisters.One is my supposed to be my mums. Every one of the dogs follows me around. My sister complains about the fact that her dog follows me around and the only time she tried to take it out on her own ran away from her to the house where I was. It is awful for me because with six dogs one does something wrong every few minutes when they are puppies. I think it is saddest for them however because whenever the dogs see me they ignore everyone else unless they make an effort to play with them ,even then the dogs come back to me after a few minutes (or seconds sometimes).

 

[Fran101]

My mom is the same way lol they are OUR dogs when its time to play with them a little and pet them. but anytime the dog does ANYTHING wrong, its MY dog lol

Im 17..the dogs have always been MY responsibility.

Then again, its ME who wanted the dogs. and ur dillema is the very reason why I adopted kenya as an adult..not a puppy. raising a puppy on your own is really tough..

 

[Blue_Dog]

I understand completely.

They do however reinforce the no biting thing. But if I suggest a different way at curbing a behaviour then I'm a ' know-it-all brat and I can pay for Sam all by myself'. I taught him everything he knows except for 'paw'. But apparently my Mom did all the training. She also believes that Cesar is the greatest guy ever and that his dominance theory is completely right. Ugh oh and my family complains that I don't let them train Sam yet when I suggests that they should work with him a little it is a bad time or a good TV show is on.

If it were me though I would try and talk to my parents calmly and adult like. Even if they don't agree/listen then they can't later say that you didn't try. It will only take Juno one good nip to get them to work on her not mouthing, though. I wish some people weren't so...stupid.

 

[BigSky]

I'm with you. I get the same thing from my neighbors.

And Juno looks like she'll be a real pretty lady in a year or so. Well-behaved, too.

 

[sprintime]

I really do think your family should get together to encourage only good manners in the dog. You could try to explain that since you won't be taking the dog when you move it would be better if he was a well behaved dog so they could enjoy him. Otherwise they might reconsider and let you take him if his behavior is not what they want.

 

[suthrnladi]

hhummmm, well since she is a family dog, then definately Everyone should be working on her behavior. Ask for a family conference, remind them that you will eventually be moving out of the house...you feel they need to get on the bandwagon and help out. Don't blame, don't whine, don't complain. Just explain that you feel that you are doing most of the work with the dog and that since school starts back soon, and you won't be home all day that you feel that others should start to help out. Also ask that you all decide on the training techniques to be used and stick to them. Use lots of I statements, "I feel, I think..." Never ever start with "You don't, You won't...." that puts everyone else on the defensive. State your case calmly and clearly, if it helps write it out and read it. Remind them all that the dog is a FAMILY dog, not yours alone.

 

[Southpaw]

Thanks for the feedback!

I kind of had my mom working on the no biting thing today. She's hesitant about it and it takes a while before she'll ignore Juno, but I'm trying to drill into her head that she needs to walk away as soon as Juno bites the -first- time.

I watch It's Me Or The Dog every day and my mom has watched quite a few episodes with me... but the only thing she seems to have picked up on is that dogs need exercise. Yes, exercise is great and Juno gets plenty of it, but it doesn't replace training. She also has a hard time with me telling her that physical exercise isn't enough... she needs mental stimulation as well. So I give Juno a couple meals in her tug-a-jug and my entire family thinks I'm soooo cruel for making her work for her food, and "how would you like it if I made you complete an obstacle course for your lunch?" Ugh!

I've gotta try harder to convince her about the sandbox. This dog will always be a digger, might as well give her somewhere appropriate to do it. I mean just getting a cheap kiddie pool and filling that up would suffice. It might just be a matter of me figuring out where to put it, somewhere out of the way and not on grass, that will get my mom on board. We'll see.

 

[Kim M]

It is frustrating! I am the one that does 90% of the "dog" stuff here. My twins are 16 and they wanted a Chihuahua so bad for their 12th bday. So my Mom got them one. They are very responsible with school and stuff, have always been mature for their age so I figured it would be fine (plus I'm a dog lover so I knew if I ended up taking care of him that would be okay too). After one week one of my twins said she no longer wanted the responsibility and gave up "her share" of the dog. After a few months (longer then some 12 year olds I guess) the other started slacking.

Now 4 years later who do you think feeds him every day? Who do you think lets him out unless I ask someone else to? Who do you think he goes to most of the time and wants to sleep with? YEP... me!

My husband is not a "dog" person really. He likes them okay but doesn't really like to deal with them much. Most of the time when he says "outside" the two little dogs come running to me and look at me like "do we really have to go?" I also have a 5 year old son they don't listen to much. The Chihuahua rarely goes out for anyone but me or one of my daughters (the 16 year old twins).

BUT I am the one that really wanted the dogs overall so I guess it makes sense I should take care of them. Yes, it is hard at times and yes some help would be nice but really it is my responsibility.