Herschel~ Thanks for the article. I am practicing all the principles in the article already and proud to say for the most part he is responding very nicely.
Karen~ You are exactly right. When you watch them together, it is very obvious that Max thinks of my daughter as a giant toy. I have been working with her to try and get her to approach and play with Max in a way that doesn't antagoize the behavior (talking in high pitch ALL.THE.TIME., jerking her hands away as soon as he comes to her, etc.) He will let her pet him if she leaves her hand down there and pets him firmly. With a four year old, it's an ongoing process
Max is currently enrolled an Puppy Obiedience classes. He knows touch, watch, sit, sit/stay. down, down/stay, leave it, come (when he wants to), shake, and crawl. His leash manners leave a lot to be desired, but he only weighs 3 pounds so it isn't so hard that she can't hold the leash. That is a good idea to have her give commands. She tries to do it herself now, but we also use hand signals and he doesn't respond to her much. I will definately include her in some of his training.
I worked with him last night concerning always going after people's hair and ears when they are on the floor, which is the main time she gets nipped. Last nightI laid on the floor to get him to duplicate the behavior and he seems to know that it isn't ok to bite Mommy because after once of twice of him doing it and me telling him "no bite" he stopped and just cuddled with me. I think I am going to try getting my daughter to lie on the floor with me and try to get him to understand that it isn't ok to bite her either.
Luckily, my 3 year old son doesn't seem all that interested in Max at the moment.
Thanks again for all the advice. I will keep you posted on the progress. I really want to get this under control. My husband was very upset (reasonably so) and I don't want to give Max up because he can't get along with the kids. I know that he is only playing and never meant to hurt her. He just gets carried away. He is very smart so I am hoping with a little diligence he will get it and life can be happy for all.