Joke for you!

doggiemom

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#1
to brighten your dayWhy, Why, Why ?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we sa y, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVOURITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
 

Kase

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#2
LOL they were soooo funny :D, thanks for posting. I love theses ones:

doggiemom said:
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
 

BullyLover

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#3
HAHAHA....I knew the answer to the bubble question so I answered the rest too.....LOL :D


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Because there is still a chance it will work....ANd to release some frustrations about having to go and get more batteries.

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Because they can.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Becasue you can't touch stars.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

It needs contact with air to dry it out and stick.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Becasue people would bitch about it being inhumain if they didn't.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Becasue he is a TV charecter.....Duh...

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

See above.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Becasue it was part of their uniform.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Someone with a great sense of humor....lol....it is ironic isn't it.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Becasue we didn't evolve form apes.. :rolleyes:

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Bubbles are hollow and have a thin layer of liquid on the outside. This layer of liquid isn't transparent but stops a little light coming through. So theres less light on the inside of the bubble than on the outside of the bubble. So it acts like a mirror reflecting local light. Which is mostly white...now If you put blue bulbs in your bath room you would have blue bubbles.


Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

No...Items for sale are always on sale. Unless of course the mattress store is closed.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

They go back in hopes of finding something that wasn't noticed before.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Becasue they arn't air tight obviously...lol

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we sa y, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Becasue it is all right...and it didn't really hurt.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

This doesn't always happen!!!

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Not in my house.....

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Because they arn't as funny as Mother-In-Law jokes

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

That's just funny...lmao
 

Kase

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#4
BullyLover your such a smart***, couldn't you just appreciate the joke :rolleyes: .


:D:D jk the bubble info was great, I never knew that.
 

Sheka

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#6
I love the last one! And why did pocahontas never had to blowdry her hair,shave her legs,do her eyebrows OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, she was always perfect, how unfair..lol
 

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