It's all so different...

[Zife]

I hope all of you remember my post where I had fostered 2 border collie mix puppies, and that there was a mastiff with HA and a man came down to to visit him, but declined. Diesel was since PTS.

My uncle, when he died, originally gave a relative his animals. I was pawned off his largest dog, his 3 and a half year old Golden Rtriever named Maya, whom I treasured dearly.

A few days after I brought Jackson and Hillary home, tradgedy struck. I came home from work to find find a trail of blood leading from the middle of the road a bit less than a quarter mile from my farmland, trailling all the way up onto my driveway. I ran to my front porch to find Maya collapsed, on the ground, bloody and dead. She was stone cold, Hillary nestled in her fur.

Jackson came tottering from behind a bush, greeting me.

I took her body to the vet along with Jackson and Hillary right away. Maya had been hit by a car, left there to die. I was shocked- I never leave Jackson and Hillary OR Maya outside on they're own. The puppies were okay, despite they were cold.

I went home with the puppies and Maya's body, who is now burried in a pet cemetary on an animal shelter property. I tried to piece together what had happened.

I realized as soon as I walked into the door. My house was COLD. There was SNOW in my KITCHEN because the back sliding glass door was wide open. I realized I must have been in such a rush in the morning, I had left it open. But, knowing Maya, I don't think she ran out right away.

The gate in the living room that blocked off access to the house that kept Hillary and Jackson confined was in tact, nothing had happened. How did they get out?
The cushions on the couch were on the ground, and I realized they had jumped up on the couch and took a flying leap over the gate.

This is what I think happened:
While Maya was sleeping, the pups snuck out. I think Maya noticed when she woke up and trailed their scent or something.I think Maya was running after them when she was hit, and she carried one of them back home, and the other followed.

I feel so hollow inside, almost as hollow as I did when I lost my Dre. I feel so dark inside. Because of my own stupidity, I lost a friend and nearly lost 2 others. I filled out the papers to adopt Jackson and Hillary, but I don't know anymore. They've come so far. They don't care if you come thundering down the stairs or sneeze suddenly. They follow me around the house and are very independant towards eachother for littermates.

I don't know anymore, guys...

It's all my fault. If I had remembered to set my alarm clock for 6:30, not 7:30, I wouldn't have been almost late. I wouldn't have rushed to feed the goats and get to work. I wouldn't have let my Maya die.

 

[Renee750il]

Zife . . . none of us has managed to come through life without making careless mistakes that have cost others dearly.

Ask yourself, "what would Maya expect of me?"

We make our mistakes - some tragic - and we learn from them. If we turn away from the lessons, then our mistakes are not only tragic, they are pointless. It's often more difficult to learn the lesson than to turn away from it, but that's the coward's way, and that is not your way.

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

Now. Live. Learn, and love . . . as a tribute to Maya, who certainly was an example of responsibility, loyalty and courage.

 

[BostonBanker]

I'm so, so sorry.

When it comes down to it, you will never really know what happened. Maybe you left the door open, maybe you didn't. Maybe it got opened some other way.

Whatever did happen, Maya knew she was loved. She used her last bit of energy to come home, where she wanted to be.

Again, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[milos_mommy]

Oh, i am so sorry. I know you're feeling guilty. And you should feel a little guilty, because yes, you left the door open.

But you shouldn't feel incompetent as a dog owner, because mistakes happen to everyone. even the most responsible people. And most of the time, we get away unscathed. But sometimes, we don't. And we learn from those mistakes.

Unfortunately, it sounds as if it were meant to happen. It's not like Maya was the kind of dog who would just take off. Even if you had JUST left the door open, it probably wouldn't have happened. The puppies climbed over the couch and jumped over the gate and stumbled outside and trotted down the street. Maya got up to save them. So many things happened between you leaving the gate open and Maya getting hit, you can't pinpoint it on that one occurance and say it wouldn't have happened. Who knows, if you didn't leave the door open, maybe the pups would have gotten into something dangerous, it would have been one of them.

I'm very, very, very sorry for your loss. But i think you should go ahead and adopt Jackson and Hillary. Maya was lucky to have you care for her for her last leg of life after she lost her person. She would want Jackson and Hillary, whom she clearly cared about, to have the same privledges.

 

[SharkBait]

Zife, don't blame yourself, really. Things in life like this just happen, i guess it's a sad reality, but true. But remember, you lit up Maya's life, and although it's terrible, you'll just have to keep flowing on with life. Remember Maya as the great dog she was, and again, please don't blame yourself, you can go over the details over and over again, but it won't change what happened. Not only are you providing those 2 pups a life they'll enjoy to the full, but you gave Maya a great, happy life, and that's all that matters now.
Sorry for your loss )))))HUGS((((( you'll be ok we'll all be thinking of you..

 

[smkie]

My door blows open all the time and we have to triply check to make sure it latches. It happens, as Renee says to all of us. Rest in Peace Maya. ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

 

[Toller_08]

Big ((((hugs)))). I am so very sorry.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself, though. Sometimes terrible things happen in life, no matter how hard we try to avoid them. Maya was very fortunate to have someone like you in her life. Again, I am very sorry.

 

[bubbatd]

I feel your pain ........ RIP dear Maya ....join my Golden angels !