I Need Your Help - Especially My Kids
- Thread starter Renee750il
- Start date
I guess I was just lucky I was so intimidating when i wanted to be... i was veer physically strong LOL one time a guy at a hockey game wouldn't stop harrassing me so I gave him a warning which of course made him harrass me worse.... LOL at that point I turned around really fast, grabbed his shirt and hauled him down over the seat into my row (he was in the row behind me) I told him that he appeared to be in a very vulnerable position and I had no issue with taking advantage of it. I think he was just so shocked he didn't say anything... lol and then I put him back in his seat. boys used to harrass me until I was on the wrestling team with them and we would have to spar together and I always won hahaha... they were wimpy boys. After that we were all best buds 
I am just glad that it worked for me. I never actually had to hurt anyone... most of the time they gave up if I wouldn't back down or I would just out muscle them and subdue them. fortunately I never had to fight when I was approached by a group... usually at that point I would walk away and then catch the "ring leader" alone later on And I was always willing to stick up for the victim if I witnessed such a thing happening to someone else... even if I didn't know them.
Of course in highschool I was in the best shape of my life... if I had to "throw down" now I would probably get winded and pass out lmao
I am just glad that it worked for me. I never actually had to hurt anyone... most of the time they gave up if I wouldn't back down or I would just out muscle them and subdue them. fortunately I never had to fight when I was approached by a group... usually at that point I would walk away and then catch the "ring leader" alone later on
And I was always willing to stick up for the victim if I witnessed such a thing happening to someone else... even if I didn't know them.Of course in highschool I was in the best shape of my life... if I had to "throw down" now I would probably get winded and pass out lmao
I honestly think that's the only reason I didn't get the **** beaten out of me through middle school. There was once incident where if a few girls hadn't come into the locker rooms when they weren't supposed to I think I would have had my skull smashed into the concrete. I KNOW it's the only reason I haven't had much male harassment in high school. They'll leer at me, but back off pretty quickly. I see the same guys physically intimidate smaller girls, however, with the same look in their eyes they give me. (And yes I've done something about it every single time I've seen it happen.)
As to the standing up to them argument.. all situations are different. What worked for some wont work for others, and in a lot of cases, any kind of standing up for yourself digs you a deeper hole.
As to the standing up to them argument.. all situations are different. What worked for some wont work for others, and in a lot of cases, any kind of standing up for yourself digs you a deeper hole.
One of my friends who went to a private school for HS (her mom forced her!) was being made fun of for liking Kurt Kobain from Nirvana (she had been made fun of by the guy before) and she slammed him into a locker! The guy was quite surprised and didn't bother my friend anymore. She enjoyed telling that story very much.
I remember something else I forgot to add in my previous post. In elementary school I was mooned once. I remember going to the teacher and going "X pulled his pants down in the hallway!!" cause I didn't know it was called "mooning" then. Its kinda funny now that I think about it.
One thing that absolutely wasn't funny was in 7th grade a classmate tried to show me his weenie:yikes:! I didn't see it though. I remember telling the school guidance counselor about that one. That poor kid had problems.
I remember something else I forgot to add in my previous post. In elementary school I was mooned once. I remember going to the teacher and going "X pulled his pants down in the hallway!!" cause I didn't know it was called "mooning" then. Its kinda funny now that I think about it.
One thing that absolutely wasn't funny was in 7th grade a classmate tried to show me his weenie:yikes:! I didn't see it though. I remember telling the school guidance counselor about that one. That poor kid had problems.
I wasn't really bullied, but I remember being in grade 3 or 4. The teacher would hand out workbooks for the row to the first person and they would just hand the rest to the person behind them. The jerk in front of me NEVER gave them to me, he handed them to the girl behind me and she would give me one.
That really bothered me, but I never thought to tell anyone.
In grade 7 and 8 a guy with the locker beside me call me -rhymes with bunt--for two years when I went to my locker.
Never told anyone.
I really hate saying this, but I was kind of mean when I was older. I felt ugly, fat, stupid and pretty worthless. And I took it out on other kids. Some name calling a couple of times. I only had a couple of friends through high school.
I wish I had been a nicer person.
That really bothered me, but I never thought to tell anyone.
In grade 7 and 8 a guy with the locker beside me call me -rhymes with bunt--for two years when I went to my locker.
Never told anyone.
I really hate saying this, but I was kind of mean when I was older. I felt ugly, fat, stupid and pretty worthless. And I took it out on other kids. Some name calling a couple of times. I only had a couple of friends through high school.
I wish I had been a nicer person.
What an interesting thread. I will give my simplified version of school...
Had a very best friend in 6th grade... she moved away. (Then years later committed suicide.)
So at the beginning of 7th grade, I started hanging around with the "popular" kids. I was skinny, and pretty shy. But they let me hang around anyway. By mid 7th grade, this clique of so called friends were so two faced to each other it was unreal. I still stuck with my "friends", by 8th grade, it was so bad, but really hard to get out of. Each week a different person would be bullied so badly, and it seemed for me and my week it was worse. And these kids being bullied were in the same clique of friends that were doing the bullying to them. I have cried at the lunch table, where most of the bullying went on. I was called "leach" for sitting with these same friends.
By the end of 8th grade I couldn't take my "friends" any longer! I vowed to myself when I started 9th grade at the high school, I wouldn't give them the time of day. I made several friends in the 9th grade, that would give me a taste of what true friendship was about. Loyality, companionship, and sisterly love. I made a wise choice in the 9th grade and gained lifelong friendships. Here it is 25 years after the 9th grade, and the girls I formed a bond with are still close with me... and never a two faced day in 25 years!
And that popular group? They are mostly drug addicts, all wrinkled up, fat, and still talking about each other at our high school reunions... Lol, oh yeah, me and my friends are actually the reunion cordinators, and I am the treasurer... LOL My My how things change...........
Had a very best friend in 6th grade... she moved away. (Then years later committed suicide.)
So at the beginning of 7th grade, I started hanging around with the "popular" kids. I was skinny, and pretty shy. But they let me hang around anyway. By mid 7th grade, this clique of so called friends were so two faced to each other it was unreal. I still stuck with my "friends", by 8th grade, it was so bad, but really hard to get out of. Each week a different person would be bullied so badly, and it seemed for me and my week it was worse. And these kids being bullied were in the same clique of friends that were doing the bullying to them. I have cried at the lunch table, where most of the bullying went on. I was called "leach" for sitting with these same friends.
By the end of 8th grade I couldn't take my "friends" any longer! I vowed to myself when I started 9th grade at the high school, I wouldn't give them the time of day. I made several friends in the 9th grade, that would give me a taste of what true friendship was about. Loyality, companionship, and sisterly love. I made a wise choice in the 9th grade and gained lifelong friendships. Here it is 25 years after the 9th grade, and the girls I formed a bond with are still close with me... and never a two faced day in 25 years!
And that popular group? They are mostly drug addicts, all wrinkled up, fat, and still talking about each other at our high school reunions... Lol, oh yeah, me and my friends are actually the reunion cordinators, and I am the treasurer... LOL My My how things change...........
So this is a very interesting subject because ive never really felt like ive fit in that one group of friends. In elementary I was in special reading classes and slower classes to help me learn and i never was really in the class room to get to socialize. so by middle school i dident really know many people every one had there cliques. And i tried to shy away by myself I was teased alot in
middle school and freshman year of high school was the worst I thought i would never make it through my freshman year i was very depressed. But know im half way through my senior year no friends still sit alone must say people do pick on you for sitting alone and be an individual its just me I read alot Im afraid of new people and the the situation they put me in thats why i like animals they dont judge you. Sorry for the very long life story.
middle school and freshman year of high school was the worst I thought i would never make it through my freshman year i was very depressed. But know im half way through my senior year no friends still sit alone must say people do pick on you for sitting alone and be an individual its just me I read alot Im afraid of new people and the the situation they put me in thats why i like animals they dont judge you. Sorry for the very long life story.
Its a delicate balence. There were times when I might have profited from home schooling and I certainly would have been happier. But for most of my school career? Sooner or later, I had to learn how to cope with other children, and therefore, with their grown up versions. Even if it was a living hell, I did learn from it. And slowly I did figure out what they so hated about me. It wasn't fair, but it gave me a understanding of how they thought, and how to fit in. I also learned, at least with verbal taunting, to let it go. To not care what people said. That's a valuable thing to learn, especially if you are somethng of an oddball by nature.
IMO, the first move should be to transfer your child to a different school, even a private school if you can afford it/get a scholarship. The next would be homeschooling, especially if your child is in physical danger (I never really was in danger of more than some bruises) or is so dispairing that suicide looks possible (I actually didn't get that depressed until I was in my teens, at which point bullying wasn't really the problem, I had a pack of friends). But I don't think its a good idea to react to drastically. Many of us here lived through hell . . . some of us definately should have been moved out of the situation . . . but the rest of us survived, and are stronger for it.
IMO, the first move should be to transfer your child to a different school, even a private school if you can afford it/get a scholarship. The next would be homeschooling, especially if your child is in physical danger (I never really was in danger of more than some bruises) or is so dispairing that suicide looks possible (I actually didn't get that depressed until I was in my teens, at which point bullying wasn't really the problem, I had a pack of friends). But I don't think its a good idea to react to drastically. Many of us here lived through hell . . . some of us definately should have been moved out of the situation . . . but the rest of us survived, and are stronger for it.