I might need surgery. My stupidity.

[Squishy22]

I dont think anyone knows here, but I grew up with some anger management issues. Its gotten better over the years. My teens were bad. But every once in awhile it still gets the better of me, and my ways of dealing with it aren't always good.

Today something upsetting happened. Not gonna get into the story, but I was extremely angry, and it was pretty much tension that has been building up for some time now. I tried calming myself, but that ended up going out the window when I punched a wall. Stupid me.

I broke my pinky above the knuckle. The part that is on your hand. I broke it badly. Clean through. The doctor had to straighten the bones, because they were overlapping. I might need surgery to put pins in my finger. I am currently in a splint up to my elbow.

Thankfully I got 40 vicodin for pain.

I look back at my childhood. Watching my dad break and hit things to deal with his own anger. Its what I grew up with. I learned it as a way to deal with things. And I still struggle with it. I've broken bones and got stitches from my anger problems before. Its not fun. Its something that doesn't happen very often, thankfully. Last time was 3 years ago.

 

[mickiduntie]

It is very hard to change a very bad habit . You are trying so I give you Loads of respect.
That said Look at that little face and use it to help you get a better control because you don't want her to have to see you do this as you saw your father.
Love is very strong use that strength to help you control this problem before she is old enough to remember
Prayers for you to accomplish this.

 

[bubbatd]

I'm sorry that you got to the breaking point . Luckily with age , I've gotten over my anger issues . The only thing they hurt was me .

 

[iwantmypup]

Aw I am sorry. Hope surgery goes well and you can control anger and stuff.
Good luck!

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Best of luck to you.

 

[eddieq]

Sorry you are injured and may have to go through an extensive recovery.

Bright side: Perhaps the memory of this incident will help you in the future to keep from doing stuff like that.

I hope it goes well for you!!

 

[Squishy22]

Thanks guys. Madison was no where near me when this happened. She was outside the house with dad at the time. Even with my anger issues, I still have the common sense to leave the room until I cool down. Its the very first thing I do when I get upset.

I am really surprised that this happened. Its been so long since I have boiled over. Like out of the blue. I have been doing really well at keeping my cool, and now this happens.

The reason or cause for my current mood swings has come to light today. I'll have to make a different thread for that though.

 

[bubbatd]

Please do ... I've wondered what triggered it .

 

[Chewbecca]

ohmygod!
I hope your hand is going to be ok!

I think it's a rather common thing that a lot of people struggle with their anger.
I did moreso when I was younger, but my children have REALLY mellowed me out.
I yell. That's my anger thing. BUT, as you grew up watching your dad throw and hit things to deal with his anger, I grew up watching my mom flip out verbally when she got angry.
I'm REALLY working on it. I've calm down on the yelling, but OH MAN, I have a sharp tongue when I get angry sometimes.

Uh, working on that, too.

I hope your hand is going to be ok, and good luck. It's never easy to change the things we dislike.

 

[noludoru]

Reggin... I hope it's okay. I've been known to punch things when I'm very, very angry.. although it takes a hell of a lot to get me to that point... and I'm idiotic enough to punch hard things, like, say, concrete paneling or brick walls. Most of the time I control the urge to smack something well, but I know the feeling.. =/

I've found instead of punching something, pinching the bridge of my nose works better.. the pain gives me something to focus on until I calm down.

 

[Squishy22]

ohmygod!
I hope your hand is going to be ok!

I think it's a rather common thing that a lot of people struggle with their anger.
I did moreso when I was younger, but my children have REALLY mellowed me out.
I yell. That's my anger thing. BUT, as you grew up watching your dad throw and hit things to deal with his anger, I grew up watching my mom flip out verbally when she got angry.
I'm REALLY working on it. I've calm down on the yelling, but OH MAN, I have a sharp tongue when I get angry sometimes.

Uh, working on that, too.

I hope your hand is going to be ok, and good luck. It's never easy to change the things we dislike.

Madison does an amazing job at calming me down. All I have to do is look at her, lol. Even when my blood is boiling. Another good thing is that if I am upset she keeps me busy and gets my mind off of things... I end up forgetting that I'm mad. lol.

I wish the best for you. It can be really hard at times. Especially when people dont understand. My fiance gets mad at me for being upset sometimes, and then THAT makes me even more upset.

 

[Squishy22]

Please do ... I've wondered what triggered it .

Well, the trigger was a number of things. Something blew up in my face, and then my fiance got mad at me for being moody. An argument started... I got more upset... he got more upset, and I decided to cope by hitting something.

I have been a bit more moodier lately than normal. Today I found out why that might be. And to give you a hint... that something will prevent me from getting surgery, and taking vicodin for pain. My hormones have changed quite a bit.

I wont keep you guessing. I'm about to make a new thread about it right now.

!#@*&#$@ its hard to type with one hand!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[bubbatd]

I've seen your new thread and you and your fiancée have to sit down with a serious talk about love and commitment . (((( Hugs )))) sweetie !

 

[drmom777]

I hope your hand does not wind up being a complicated problem. Sending healing thoughts.

 

[Squishy22]

I've seen your new thread and you and your fiancée have to sit down with a serious talk about love and commitment . (((( Hugs )))) sweetie !

Oh yes! We rarely fight, but when it happens... it can get bad. We are good at talking things out once it blows over.

 

[xpaeanx]

I sorry.