I keep wondering if I could have done more

[phippsjen]

My yorkie Bogie had congestive heart failure. He was 13 and my best friend. I am alive because if I killed myself who would have taken care of him? My life is what it is now because of him and I was no longer alone. He was abused as a pup and about 1ish when I got a hold of him. We bonded quick and he went with me everywhere. I always knew he would have pain in his back legs due to having them both broken (he walked like Charlie Chapmen... paws pointed out, so very cute) when he got older so I had prepared myself for this, but not for this. One day his breathing got labored so I figured he had a cold... it got worse so I took him to the emergency vet and they diagnosed him with Congestive Heart Failure. He spent 4 days in the oxygen tent, came home and 4 days later I had to take him back. We did this for about 2 months and he wasn’t getting better. My vet said we could keep doing this or put him down. Either way they told me he had 2 to 4 weeks. I just couldn’t keep putting him up in that oxygen tent.. he was so sad in it but he couldn’t be out of it for more then a few days. My husband and I put him down on November 27th 2006 and I can’t stop feeling like I killed him. I didn’t know if it was hurting him or anything... he was such a good boy, he never cried or anything for shots, exams anything. He was a stoic brave dog and I miss him everyday. If he’s in dog heaven is he mad at me? Does he want to know why I didn’t protect him? Or is he happy running around with all the other doggie souls happy to have 2 good legs and a good heart? Will I ever get over this feeling? Does anyone feel the same way?

I love you Bogie... you were the best and I’m sorry.

 

[KatzNK9]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I do hope you'll see that you helped him by releasing him from his struggle. I'm sure if he could, he would thank you for helping him get to a better place. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds to me like you made the best choice for him & spared him continued suffering.

 

[mjb]

I believe he knew you would do the very best for him and trusted you to make that decision.

 

[phippsjen]

Thanks for answering me... my heart just hurts so much and it's better to talk about this here then with my family... I mean we have always had dogs and this wasnt the first go go but he was my first. His sister Bacall (yes I know... Bogie and Bacall, dorky but it had to be done) slept in his bed for the longest time. It just hurts.

 

[Juicy]

I know how you feel. I wish I could of found an alternative or waited a bit longer for some sort of miracle so Didi could of still of been alive today. I hate that I found a great dog park that she would of loved to of gone to, but she can't, because she's dead. Christmas won't be the same now without her. I hate putting on her harness on Princess, its very hard that its not HER wearing it. Its a different feeling I don't like. I never image that instead of having her there when I have kids, and the kids growing up with her, I have to TELL them about her.

 

[Renee750il]

What you did was the most loving, unselfish thing you could ever have done for Bogie. You released him from pain and confusion, even though it ripped your heart out to do it. That is Love.

One of these days, you'll look into the eyes of another dog in need and you'll see a message from Bogie looking back at you and you'll know he's sent you someone special to ease the loneliness.

 

[sparks19]

What you did was the most loving, unselfish thing you could ever have done for Bogie. You released him from pain and confusion, even though it ripped your heart out to do it. That is Love.

One of these days, you'll look into the eyes of another dog in need and you'll see a message from Bogie looking back at you and you'll know he's sent you someone special to ease the loneliness.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy. Thank you for coming here to share his love and your love for him with us.

renee is right. One day you will find a dog in need and it will just hit you that this dog was sent to you....

A few months after we lost our beloved Teddy we went to the shelter to look for another dog as our other dog was so lonely. We asked to see a dog we saw on the website and when he came up he was wild and crazy and they said that no one wanted him becuase he was so uncooperative. But the moment they handed us the leash to see if we could walk him he was calm and happy. We knew then he was for us. Not a day goes by that we don't see a bit of Teddy in him and everyone who meets him says the same thing. We know Teddy sent him to us. it doesn't stop the pain but it will let you know that your beloved boy is always with you in spirit.

run free at the bridge baby boy. there are lots of good friends there for you.

the pain never truly goes away but you start to be able to enjoy the good memories.

I hope you don't mind my asking but did you bury him or was he cremated? I only ask because perhaps planting a tree for him in your yard or somewhere special will help you. We planted a tree with Teddy's ashes in our yard and every year near the time of his death it flowers and every year it grows more and more and is so beautiful. Teddy is alive in that tree. We talk to that tree most everyday. It is a nice way to remember your pet and bring life.

Sorry this was so long winded. I hope you can find some peace.... it was not your fault. YOu did what was best for your boy. I know it is hard to believe that sometimes and I know it is hard not to blame yourself. But you really did the best for him.

Again... RIP dear boy and run free at the bridge with all our beloved pets.

 

[rosesmom]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[cinnamon]

What you did was the most loving, unselfish thing you could ever have done for Bogie. You released him from pain and confusion, even though it ripped your heart out to do it. That is Love.

One of these days, you'll look into the eyes of another dog in need and you'll see a message from Bogie looking back at you and you'll know he's sent you someone special to ease the loneliness.

Totally agree with Renee. Bogie will always be in your heart and someday there will be room to love someone else who needs you.

 

[bubbatd]

Never blame yourself for doing what's best for the animals we love so !!! RIP dear Bogie and send a friend to Phipps soon !