I have no friends, literally..

[akemi_hikari]

I moved to Canada from England just over a year ago, and in that time I've made one friend at school who I've seen once in that entire year outside of school. Another friend who was barely a friend who just moved to Vancouver. Now I have a kind of friend who I work with but we've never done anything outside of work yet. And she is 27 and I'm 19. Its so lonely having no friends, I find it so difficult to make friends in this city. I'm a quiet person and it takes me a while to "come out of my shell" or whatever and as a result I'm so lonely.

My boyfriend is Canadian but lived in England his whole life, we met there and he is moving over to be with me after christmas so that will be better. But Everyone needs friends.. I'm so tired of not having them. I miss parties and having fun. Even though I didn't have too many friends in England, I still had alot of people I saw and went out with occasionally. And I went to parties a couple of times a year with old college friends. Sometimes I wonder why I moved here but I did, so I need some friends.. I'm so lonely.

Anyone live in Victoria, BC?

 

[Sheba]

We are your friends!

 

[Dakotah_2009]

awww girl I'm your friend and you can always talk to me. I loves ya girly!

 

[smkie]

i have sort of the same problem..my friend died..between family and their constant need of one thing or another, and trying to get the artwork done there is no time to go out and socialize.the friends i do have here are as busy or worse then i am....someday i hope to get up the courage....maybe in the spring.. I think i will just have to bite the bullet and GO. I wish you luck and can empathize 100%

 

[akemi_hikari]

Thanks you guys.. you are sweet. I hope someday I can make some friends, I just don't know how.. when I get my dog I might take him to obedience classes then maybe I'll meet some people there..

 

[Sheba]

Well, I just found a friend, maybe my luck will spread to you!

 

[juliefurry]

I'm the exact same way. I moved one state away and have no friends here. I talk to my husband's friends wife from work maybe once every other month. I thought maybe getting out with the dogs I would meet other dog people and get friends but so far that hasn't happened. I tried going to the park with my daughter and I talked to a few people there but have never seen them there agian. I'm fairly lonely, but I have the dogs and my daughter and husband to keep me company. I just spend a lot of time reading and doing stuff with my daughter, I figure one day I'll meet a friend out here that I can hang around with. You should just concentrate on your school and work and getting ready for your puppy. I'm sure once you get your puppy you will make friends at puppy preschool.

 

[Renee750il]

Well, Akemi, at least you get to eat ALL of those luscious sounding brownies!

 

[BassetLover**]

hi.
growing up i didnt have much friends either, i was the opposite from you i didnt want to do parties and shopping i was happy with my horses and dogs.
now at 24 i have one close friend most of the time thats enough, my mum always said you only need one good friend to be happy. but sometimes i regret secluding myself from the people my age, i had a hen night and it consisted of the one friend and a group of my parents friends to make numbers up.
dog training class will help you and keep an eye out for fellow dog walkers when your out, strike up conversations about the dogs its a good way to meet people.

 

[akemi_hikari]

I don't go to school, I'm training as a groomer. I work with two other ladies, both 30 or almost 30. I'm 19.. I left school early in england, left school early when I came to canada cos I had no idea what I wanted to do. Now I'm stuck cos I have no friends left over. I don't have a past here at all.. I talk to my friend from school online sometimes and she says how I'm her best friend and that she's my friend when I moan to her about being lonlelyy, but she never ever ewants to go out and watch a movie or go shopping or do stuff like that, she's happy just having online friends. I keep asking her if there are any websites to meet people in my area and she gives me dating sites and I try to explain I don't want dating sites cos I want to make girl friends and I already have a boyfriend. Its hard to talk to her sometimes cos she's taiwanese and english is not ehr first language but she's a great girl. I just do not know what to do to make friends in my area.. I wish I was more confident in myself and more talkative but I'm jsut not, I'm so reserved around some people if they are outgoing, I just feel scared by them. I get on with people alot like myself, thats why me and my boyfriend have stayed together through all of this. He's my soulmate, literally. We have so much in common, share the same views, both have limited friends and stuff. I just wish I could meet a female version of him!

 

[Renee750il]

Start making it a practice to look at people who cross your path and smile at them. It will open all sorts of doors, and after you do it a few times, it becomes totally painless. The first few times can be hard, but it gets easier and easier, and then next thing you know, you're actually talking to someone!

 

[akemi_hikari]

I'm just not confident though.. thats one of my problems. Sometimes i feel so self-contious I just keep my head down and I feel really nervous when I pass people in the street. I don't often talk to strangers, I never talk to strangers actually and when I'm talking to new friends I always have to think of something to say it doesn't come out easily. I'm doomed.

 

[Renee750il]

That's why you start with just a smile. And it is hard when you start. You have to consciously make yourself do it. It's painful! But it gets easier and easier.

Sometimes the best way to start a conversation is to just admit that you are always nervous when you meet people and say something like, "I'm very good at putting my foot in my mouth" or "I can never think of anything clever to say when I meeting new people." Chances are, whoever you are talking to has felt the same way - or even feels that way at the time! And if they don't, there's a very great chance that they will empathize with you and be happy to pull you right into a conversation.

 

[oc_spirit]

I used to be a super-shy person too. I was so shy I couldn't even call other people on the phone unless i already knew them REALLY well, especially adults. I found myself caught i a lot of awkward situations because of this where it'd be only me and one other person in the room and we'd both be quiet and kinda stare off in our own lil world wishing the other person would say SOMETHING. My brother told me I needed to be more out-going one day (very blatant and with no ounce of sympathy what so ever) and I dunno what it was but after that day even though I was shaking in my boots doing it in the beginning I always tried to at least say "hi" to strangers and smile and if they seemed nice enough I would try REALLY hard to compliment them on something hoping that would lead to a conversation. Something that helped out a lot was trying to find a similarity between the new person and someone I already knew since it would give me a sense of familiarity which made things a lot easier. Now I'm the crazy kid who randomly turns around in the check-out line and with a big cheery voice says "Hi! I'm Ren! What's your name?". Something else that really helped my comfort level was drama and acting in general. I had to force myself to get to know fellow actors because I'd be living with them for the next few months (or so it seemed). My personal bubble also got reduced to literally nothing since sometimes in a sketch the fact is that personal areas may have to be touched, heck you may even end up needing to kiss someone you just met at the auditions a week ago!

Worst comes to worse, fly over here to ontario and i'll be your friend

 

[akemi_hikari]

How long did that take you?

 

[akemi_hikari]

happy now.

 

[Manchesters]

And be sure you know the difference between FRIENDS and mere acquaintances. A friend is someone you would put your life on the line for. I only have a couple of friends. There are not that many people I can be involved with emotionally and be willing to die for! You have to hold something back for yourself.

A friend is not someone you party with. A friend is someone that you sit at the kitchen table with and discuss how to improve everything that is wrong with the world, and will all the other people you know.

A friend is someone you wouldn't be embarrassed to have an accident in your pants in front of, because you know they would understand and do all they could to help you!!!!! A friend is someone closer than your husband or wife, because a good friend is the one you bitch to ABOUT your husband or wife!!!!!!

I think you are missing acquaintances. They are a dime a dozen, and of no value or use. But first, become friends with YOURSELF. Then you can extend outward to others.

I will send you a bill for this session, rofl.

 

[yuckaduck]

And be sure you know the difference between FRIENDS and mere acquaintances. A friend is someone you would put your life on the line for. I only have a couple of friends. There are not that many people I can be involved with emotionally and be willing to die for! You have to hold something back for yourself.

A friend is not someone you party with. A friend is someone that you sit at the kitchen table with and discuss how to improve everything that is wrong with the world, and will all the other people you know.

A friend is someone you wouldn't be embarrassed to have an accident in your pants in front of, because you know they would understand and do all they could to help you!!!!! A friend is someone closer than your husband or wife, because a good friend is the one you bitch to ABOUT your husband or wife!!!!!!

I think you are missing acquaintances. They are a dime a dozen, and of no value or use. But first, become friends with YOURSELF. Then you can extend outward to others.

I will send you a bill for this session, rofl.

Very good and so true!

 

[Manchesters]

Look Honey

God damnit. My old friend from centuries ago in england is talking to me on msn saying all about her wild parties at uni and i'm telling her all about how lonely i am and my eyes are welling up just thinking about it, i haven't felt so depressed when i was fifteen i dont know what is wrong with me it feels like it will never get better, if i didn't have morgan i think i would have killed myself by now because my life is so empty it would probably be less empty if i was dead.

You can mention God anytime you want as far as I and many other "born againers" are concerned. But you **** well better do it with respect, and prayerfully. Or you will quickly loose the respect of several around here.

You can call anyone anything you want within reason, but just leave God out of your petty problems. He is too busy dealing with a few other things......like the guys in Iraq, and the people in Louisiana and Mississippi, and now Texas.

 

[Renee750il]

Manchesters, you reminded me of something I've read:

A friend is someone who will get up in the middle of the night and bail you out when you call . . .

A BEST friend is sitting beside you waiting to be bailed out saying, "****! That sure was some night!"