How to get thru to a good friend

[filarotten]

One of my best friends has a 4 mo. old female Akita, named Keiko. I'm having some problems with her housebreaking methods, and her choice in food. Before she got Keiko I tried my best to educate her on good holistic dog food. Gave her Mordys site, I even mentioned Chaz to her for a good refresher course in puppy 101. Explained things have changed considerably since she had a puppy. But, she is feeding her Yuckanuba. She is also rubbing Keikos nose in her pee and spanking her for this. I have tried talking to her, but immediately she gets defensive, and wants to argue. So, I just shut up. Needless to say, Keiko is now hiding when she tinkles. She takes Keiko to a holistic vet, but feeds horrible food. One more thing...She has not taken her in for all of her shots. I told her she should have had her final shots at 4 mos. and booster 6 mos later. Somehow her vet explained it bass-ackwards to her and got her totally confused. She thinks she does not bring Keiko in for her next shot until she is six months. Other than what I have mentioned Keiko is loved and well taken care of. How do you get it thru to a hard headed red head that swears she knows it all? I have considered setting up a new e mail address and sending her puppy info from an anonymous person. Any ideas?

 

[Saje]

I'm having the same problem. My friend says her byb poodle KNOWS when he's done something wrong even hours after he pees in the house because she shows it to him. So she slaps him for it I doubt she hurts him cuz she does love that little dog but that's just not the way to do it.

I guess I'll just slowly work on her.

 

[CanadianK9]

Tell her to come here and ask about things, we could tell her doggy 101.

 

[filarotten]

It seems to be a very touchy subject with some people. They can't seem to accept more positive ideas about puppy training. So frustrating.
I have mentioned the Chaz idea. It's not working.

 

[CanadianK9]

And i think the best solution is to guide her to adequate resourses to figure out how to do it properly, such as here or info sites, books, people

 

[Saje]

Well my friend thinks she knows it all. She's not snotty about it we just have very different beliefs. (Sorry to hijack Fila) And she's quite computer illiterate.

 

[filarotten]

I emailed her sit stay fetch to give her some positive ideas. She didn't like it, she said she didn't see that it would help her.

 

[filarotten]

Saje, don't worry about it, your going through the same thing. I understand... April is a very intelligent, successful woman. That is what is so frustrating

 

[Saje]

I emailed her sit stay fetch to give her some positive ideas. She didn't like it, she said she didn't see that it would help her.

That's so sad. I wish we could help them and their dogs.

(WTF people are slamming doors around the office and fighting. temper temper)

 

[CanadianK9]

Saje: Well see if she wants to come to a training class with you and inquire to the trainer about some issues, she will probobly take the word of someone whos career is based on Training/Behaviour consulting, and if not do the same as im telling fila.

Fila: Just tell her you are very concerned on how this dog will end up using the methods she is using now, tell her that some methods may be better for results and to look into some others in the best interest for both her and the dog.

 

[Julie]

I am having kind of an opposite problem, my best friend just got a pomeranian and she has followed my advice to a T. The problem is the dog will not poop outside, only inside.

I have gotten alot of ideas from this site for toy breeds and she is trying some more things, but the pup is still young and not too interested in outside for potty.


As for not listening to advice, I think alot of people do that. Try not to let it upset you, just be there for the friend and pup, I am sure some better techniques will wear off on her from you. I just hope the pup doesn't get hand shy before she figures it is not a good way to train.

 

[Saje]

There aren't any trainers here. I'm the best there is! Ha ha ha how's that for ego (disclaimer: I'm NOT a trainer at all)

 

[fastpitchchic]

I know how it is, when my mom was around she thought that the Raley's brand dog food was ok to feed her pups. (You could see the difference between my dogs and hers, bright shiney coats and eyes, good teeth etc...hers had dry brittle dull coats) She thought that I was crazy to go out and buy chicken and rice for my boys when their tummies were upset...I tried forever to get her to switch a better brand dog food. I guess some people are just stuck in their ways.

 

[Fran27]

This is exactly why I never mention food/training with other people I know. Honestly all the people I've met don't take it well when you imply that they are wrong, and they're all convinced that they are doing things right, and I don't think it's possible to help them until they realize it's going nowhere and start asking for help.

 

[RD]

Re: Food. Why in the world is her vet not recommending better foods? Or explaining things to her about shots? It sounds like either the vet isn't particularly thorough, or she severely misunderstands and/or ignores the advice the vet gives her.

Explain to her that what she is currently doing for the potty training is not teaching her puppy anything. She doesn't have to inflict pain upon the pup to teach her that going to the bathroom indoors is unacceptable!
She doesn't have to be a clicker trainer, but her "methods" are obviously doing nothing but worsening the problem. DO NOT lecture her on correcting her puppy, that is what I have found makes people the most defensive. Just explain that by spanking her whenever she finds pee in the house, she is teaching the puppy nothing but to be nervous and upset when there is pee in the house. The dog doesn't remember that -they- made that puddle of pee, they don't remember the action that they are being punished for. They just don't understand. It is confusing and upsetting to be harshly reprimanded for something you don't remember, isn't it?
I would definitely send her some puppy information and sites on dog behavior.

 

[bubbatd]

Why oh why don't owners READ BOOKS before they get a puppy !!!! That is why our HSs are full !!

 

[Brattina88]

I don't think there's much you can say that's going to get through at this point. People don't like other people telling them how to raise their children, and the same goes for dogs.
I had an acquaintance who's situation was quite similar to yours. I talked to a friend of mine who lived closer than I did to her and got her to ask my acquaintance specific questions on how to train and what food to feed her puppy. It kind of worked like reverse psychology or whatever you call it. The acquaintance gave my friend very good advice actually (the advice I'd been giving her all along, and then some, but with no success). It was a little bit after she'd been giving solid advice that she herself switched like she'd been doing it all along.

 

[tintinabulation]

I know, it must be so frustrating. I also have a friend like that. She has 2 dogs, one male one female, of the same breed and everything, and her mom and step dad breed them. I personally think it is irresponsible, and I tried telling her that, but nooooo, she knows everything.

 

[Fran27]

Why oh why don't owners READ BOOKS before they get a puppy !!!! That is why our HSs are full !!

Because they're sure it's the right way to do it. Ask people out there how to train a dog, 80% of them will tell you you have to show them you are the master. So when they tell those people they're getting a puppy, that's how they tell them to do it. So it's really your word against theirs.

 

[filarotten]

We are supposed to have lunch tomorrow, I have decided to stop along the way and get a few books, one about Akitas and one on puppy training. I am going to tell her they are for Cameron, her 9 year old son; an extra birthday present. I'm pretty sure he will read them as he is crazy about Keiko and this is his first dog. Then he can tell her what she is doing wrong. I know its sneaky, but I think it will work.