Honeymoon or the ring?

[Dreeza]

my grandparents are in their 90's and aren't senile and still remember each other when they wake up and see each other lol

TECHNICALLY...they are senile, lol. It just means 'old age'. Well at least that was just what my professor was harping about last week in my "physical therapy for older adults" class, hahaha.


ANYWAYS...how small of a ring are we talking here?? lol I think I'd rather have the trip...unless we are just talking like a band & no diamond. Then i'd want the diamond

 

[noludoru]

some people might think.. money is better spent on other things. but thats just different interests. People are different and its ok, but I dont think its right to call somebody elses dream of their wedding "stupid" just because you wouldnt spend YOUR money the same way.

No one did. And it's not stupid to have a wedding that makes you happy. I wont say it's smart to get sucked into our culture's obsession with Everything Wedding, though.

Threads like this that focus on silly little materialistic aspects about marriage like how much money you're going to spend on an engagement ring definitely do bug me when a large portion of people don't even have the right to get married to the person of their choice, though, and I'm kinda tired of seeing them and not expressing that.

So many people seem to take marriage for granted, and it makes me sad.

 

[sparks19]

Hey... if you can afford the ring, the honey moon and the house and bills and everything else... all the power to you.

It's sad that not EVERYONE can get married but you can be "materialistic" about your wedding and still support that cause. they aren't mutually exclusive. and I don't think anyone that has spent the kind of money that a big wedding costs is taking that for granted. Just as I don't think that anyone who goes low key like we did makes us better nor does it make us lesser.

I like my original plastic ring because it was special and pretty unorthodox lol. it didn't cost a lot. but it provided me the ring that we wanted to exchange during our ceremony when we couldn't get any other in my size within a couple of days (literally 3 days lol) I've kept it and I always will keep it It was also the ring I wore for a year after we were married because I was attached to it. I had NO issue showing it to people who asked and when they asked telling them it was plastic it was special and during a time where we had to live apart it brought a smile to my face when I was missing my husband.

different strokes for different folks and HOPEFULLY you only get one wedding... so it should be everything you dreamed it would be.

Also I AGREE that people take marriage for granted. that's why the divorce rate is so high. but I don't think it's the wedding that is part of the taking it for granted. it's the idea that you should never go through rough patches and if you do you should just give up and get divorced. they take for granted that it's going to be this fairytale perfect wonderland and that you'll never disagree or go through hard times.

 

[Romy]

I'm glad we didn't go on a fancy honeymoon, because we would have missed most of it. Instead we spent $300 to rent a cabin in Forks for a week, because we were moving to Arizona after the honeymoon and Robert had never seen the rainforest before.

Originally I never wanted a ring. Max, I wanted a plain jane gold band. But Robert's family had a diamond from a wedding set he inherited from a neighbor, and his aunt owns a bronze foundry, and his mom is really good friends with a pretty famous jeweler. Sooo...his aunt designed it and carved out the wax thingy, gave it to the jeweler, and he melted down some good old Pearce, AZ gold for my ring, and set a gorgeous heirloom diamond in it. I love it. It's pretty much stuck on my finger forever. Robert's dad gave him his old wedding ring since he's divorced, and we had the jeweler melt that down, add some more gold and forge it into a new ring with the old and new gold.

 

[AGonzalez]

different strokes for different folks and HOPEFULLY you only get one wedding... so it should be everything you dreamed it would be.

^ that bears repeating, lol. Technically I am only getting 1 actual wedding...and personally think all the excitement and that is a load of crap. But that's me in a nutshell.

 

[Paige]

I wouldn't want a fancy ring or honeymoon and if the guy thought I did he doesn't know me well enough to get married to me. I'd rather a small get away and a cute ring, if a ring at all.

 

[Taqroy]

I didn't get a huge ring or a huge honeymoon....lol. We had a small wedding (about 15 people) and then a big kick ass reception. But we didn't have a whole lot of money so we just went to Aspen for the weekend (and got mad at all the aholes that live there) but we still had an awesome time.

Personally, I don't think wanting a huge wedding is a bad thing, as long as you don't let it overshadow every other aspect of your life. I agree with Nolu in that focusing on the material aspects of a wedding annoy me. For instance, I knew a girl in school who googled her wedding ring to find out how much it cost so that she could tell everyone. So not cool.

 

[ACooper]

No one did. And it's not stupid to have a wedding that makes you happy. I wont say it's smart to get sucked into our culture's obsession with Everything Wedding, though.

~snip~

So many people seem to take marriage for granted, and it makes me sad.

Agreed. On both points actually.

I would NEVER call anyone 'stupid' or 'silly' for having a big wedding, extravagant honeymoon, or the most HUGE engagement ring they could find/afford.

I watched my two sisters freak out over the perfect dress, perfect menu, perfect guest list, flowers, bride's maids, ring bearer, flower girl......CAKE.........lordy I could go on. It just seemed like such a waste to me. Waste of their time, their energy, their MONEY, their feelings - the negative feelings of course, LOL, guilt over asking this person to be that instead of another person It all just seemed so hectic and pointless to me........BUT.....in the end, it made THEM happy (or so they said) and that is all that counts because I wasn't stressing or paying for any of it, ROFL

That said, I TOO am of the mind that all this wedding culture stuff is for the birds, LOL I didn't put myself (or family) through a big wedding, big honeymoon, or any of those other things. They weren't important to ME.

True enough that I adore my engagement ring and wedding band. It's not for the reasons you might think though I adore them and wouldn't trade them for anything BECAUSE Kevin thought of me. He went and picked them out ALONE. He kept my style and taste in mind. He did a fantastic job.

To me that shows he KNOWS me............we have opposite tastes in nearly EVERYTHING. I know this is not the ring HE would want if he were the woman, LOL.........that speaks volumes to my heart To repeat, my wedding set is NOT big or over costly........my solitaire is not even a carat But it is ME and he saw that. When I look at my ring, I remember the time he took to find the right one, the love that went into it's purchase, and sometimes that gets me over whatever I am ticked at him for :rofl1:

 

[sparks19]

yeah I hear ya on that Acoop. I was so glad I lived so far away when my sister was planning her wedding so I didn't get sucked into the whole hullabaloo. I was a bridesmaid but I was too far away to get sucked into the planning lol. all I had to do was buy my dress and show up.

but seriously it was so stressful for her and consumed most of her free time and cost a bunch of money (although they already had a house so if they wanted to spend that money on a wedding that was their choice although my dad did pay a lot for it too)

I just couldn't imagine going through all of that. I am not the organized "plan a big to do" sort of person

BUT that being said... I'm glad other people have big weddings because I do love attending weddings well more so the reception after the ceremony.

 

[Samantha's pet]

Honeymoon. Going somewhere really awesome and seeing something new is way better than all the diamonds in the world. Danny and I just had a similar discussion when he jokingly said if he wasnt taking us and our friends to Japan he could get a bigger tv. He and I both agreed the bottom line (for us) is that life experience trumps material possessions always! lol.

 

[HayleyMarie]

hmm.. I know that I want a fair sized wedding outside. I never was the little girl who dreamed of her wedding and the dress, but now that I am getting older and with the man of my dreams i am staring to think about it more. I do want a fab wedding with all my friends and all my close family. I want it to be a party, a celabration and reunion of all my family and friends. I dont think it needs to be crazy and lavish, but I do want it to be a day to remember forever. I would want more money spend on the wedding than the ring. Because its a day for everyone to celebrate not just me and the man I am going to marry. I also want a dress that I will be proud to wear and that I will feel and look beautiful in. I want to WOW my man lol

 

[Hillside]

I'd rather have a puppy.

 

[MPP]

I wanted a small wedding with only the people that I REALLY wanted to be there. A pretty dress. A nice little reception that everyone enjoyed. A pleasant honeymoon to unwind and get used to being married. But no. When I told my mother, she started crying hysterically. (And this was a woman who NEVER cried.) She truly felt that I was cheating her out of something she wanted very badly, and I truly couldn't stand hurting her so much.

Warning: Never send your child to a Catholic school. It takes years to alter the "Authority speaks! I must obey!" knee jerk reaction. Though things may have changed since I was there.

So there were 150 people at my reception, a 5 piece orchestra, more bells and whistles than you could shake a stick at, enough food for a third world country to share--well, you get the idea. It was my mother's dream wedding. She made all the arrangements. And she yelled at me in the weeks preceding this extravaganza for not being more involved!

Mom: DON'T YOU EVEN CARE?
Me: (Drops head submissively, says nothing, thinks, "No.")

Now? I say the heck with the fancy ring and the big reception! Go on a fun honeymoon--YOUR idea of fun, not everybody else's--and put the rest of the money down on a house!

 

[wcladymacbeth]

hmm.. I know that I want a fair sized wedding outside. I never was the little girl who dreamed of her wedding and the dress, but now that I am getting older and with the man of my dreams i am staring to think about it more. I do want a fab wedding with all my friends and all my close family. I want it to be a party, a celabration and reunion of all my family and friends. I dont think it needs to be crazy and lavish, but I do want it to be a day to remember forever. I would want more money spend on the wedding than the ring. Because its a day for everyone to celebrate not just me and the man I am going to marry. I also want a dress that I will be proud to wear and that I will feel and look beautiful in. I want to WOW my man lol

good choice that's how my wedding was it was amazing. AND everyone talked about it for months afterward saying it was the most fun wedding they had ever been to.

 

[sparks19]

Oh MPP that's horrible. i"m so sorry that happened to you. I recently watched an episode of Till death (yeah my experience comes from sitcoms lol) and the daughter was getting married and the mom was taking over everything when she just wanted a simple wedding and I said to Brian "PLEASE don't EVER let me become that mother when and if hannah decides to get married" PLEASE

I actually was more afraid of my dad's reaction to the whole thing with us getting married spur of the moment with no one there so I didn't tell him for a long time but when I did he was cool with it.

My mom I called right away and said "Guess What" she said "You better not be calling to tell me you are pregnant" I said "NO LOL... We just got married" and she responded with "Really? Oh wow... well now you can get pregnant" LMAO

We just weren't really into a big wedding... but it mostly sprouted from talking about wedding stuff and me FRETTING about my sister behaving herself at my wedding. she HATES my mom... she HATES my brother and she's just an overall MISERABLE person and I had no doubt she would RUIN the day all together and I just dind't want to have to worry about that the whole time. plus all the planning and everything else. too much stress for me.

So... we went to the courthouse friday... got the license... came back monday and got hitched. I wore flip flops, capri pants and a flowered top LOL

 

[Fran101]

I wanted a small wedding with only the people that I REALLY wanted to be there. A pretty dress. A nice little reception that everyone enjoyed. A pleasant honeymoon to unwind and get used to being married. But no. When I told my mother, she started crying hysterically. (And this was a woman who NEVER cried.) She truly felt that I was cheating her out of something she wanted very badly, and I truly couldn't stand hurting her so much.

Warning: Never send your child to a Catholic school. It takes years to alter the "Authority speaks! I must obey!" knee jerk reaction. Though things may have changed since I was there.

So there were 150 people at my reception, a 5 piece orchestra, more bells and whistles than you could shake a stick at, enough food for a third world country to share--well, you get the idea. It was my mother's dream wedding. She made all the arrangements. And she yelled at me in the weeks preceding this extravaganza for not being more involved!

Mom: DON'T YOU EVEN CARE?
Me: (Drops head submissively, says nothing, thinks, "No.")

Now? I say the heck with the fancy ring and the big reception! Go on a fun honeymoon--YOUR idea of fun, not everybody else's--and put the rest of the money down on a house!

lol Catholic school has changed a bit since then!
but im sorry you had to go through all that and I agree with you, it should be BOTH of your ideas of "happy"..

 

[Giny]

We didn't do either ring or honeymoon. At the time we couldn't really afford it and it's not something I missed. It was my second marriage and his first so too me the entire ring and all that came with it wasn't much important, I just wanted to be married to this great man. I can see how it's of an importance to some, though.

 

[HayleyMarie]

I'd rather have a puppy.

Haha Last night I was joking with Tyler and some guy friends and I told Tyler "screw the ring just get me a Cane Corse Puppy and I will be happy" LOL. I've already told him he is not allowed any toys after he graduated until he gets me a CC puppy. lol. But I am joking obviously.

 

[Taqroy]

I wanted a small wedding with only the people that I REALLY wanted to be there. A pretty dress. A nice little reception that everyone enjoyed. A pleasant honeymoon to unwind and get used to being married. But no. When I told my mother, she started crying hysterically. (And this was a woman who NEVER cried.) She truly felt that I was cheating her out of something she wanted very badly, and I truly couldn't stand hurting her so much.

Warning: Never send your child to a Catholic school. It takes years to alter the "Authority speaks! I must obey!" knee jerk reaction. Though things may have changed since I was there.

So there were 150 people at my reception, a 5 piece orchestra, more bells and whistles than you could shake a stick at, enough food for a third world country to share--well, you get the idea. It was my mother's dream wedding. She made all the arrangements. And she yelled at me in the weeks preceding this extravaganza for not being more involved!

Mom: DON'T YOU EVEN CARE?
Me: (Drops head submissively, says nothing, thinks, "No.")

Now? I say the heck with the fancy ring and the big reception! Go on a fun honeymoon--YOUR idea of fun, not everybody else's--and put the rest of the money down on a house!

I'm sorry you had to go through that. My mom kept trying to add people to the guest list for the wedding....and I kept shooting her down. I hate hate hate when people say "Well you have to invite this person from our side of the family because you invited these people from that side." And I'm like NO it's my wedding I'll invite whoever I **** well please. LOL. I really didn't want very many people there because we're not public people and I had a panic attack right before walking up there anyway and there were only about 15 people there....lol.

 

[M&M's Mommy]

I'd go for the ring. Together with the wedding band, they are to be worn on your finger at all time as a physical reminder to yourself of your love and commitment to your spouse, and a sign to the world that you're now "taken"

As for the honeymoon... I think if the couple truly love each other, all they need after a wedding is to have some quiet, private time to relax & refuel together before entering into a new normal, busy life as husband & wife. If you keep this purpose in mind, anywhere can be a great location for a honeymoon trip!!. Honeymoon trip needs not to be overly expensive in order to be special & memorable.