Help

[squirtsmom]

Okay, I am so tired. I have a nine month old daughter with Down s syndrome, who lately doesn't want to sleep. My eleven year old has Crohn's disease and is having a flare, and feels terrible-not sleeping either. HELP! I work fulltime as an RN since my husband passed 2 months ago in a motor vehicle accident with a drunk driver. I am tired, and feel like I'm crabby all the ti me. Maybe I am getting a little depressed. Go figure. Just wanted to vent because you all are so kind and considerate.

 

[Tracy14048]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't even imagine what you are going through right now..... Do you have the support of your friends and family? I know that it is hard to ask for it, we sometimes think that it is a sign of weakness if we do... BUT for your health and well being, you need to take some time for you.... even if that means a few hours, anything is better than nothing...... Hang in there, you are NOT alone!

 

[nancy2394]

Squirt.. you have a lot to deal with. I can't imagine trying to do it alone. First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Makes me so **** mad to hear of a drunk driver killing someone.

Under the circumstances I would say you are overwhelmed and most definately a bit depressed. YOU are dealing with soooo much. I am so sorry.

Do one thing at a time. Your son needs you first. You know how crones flare ups are the pits. Help him get over his flare up. Eventually your daughter will get tired and fall asleep. You just might have to call upon your family and friends to give you some relief so YOU can get some rest time yourself.

You're a nurse.. you know you'll wind up getting sick if you don't take care of yourself too.

Anytime you want to talk, please get it off your chest. If there's anything I can do to help you through this tough time.. please let me know. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[MomOf7]

That is awful. I am so sorry about your loss and the stress of having to do it alone now.
Your going to hear this alot and you already know this but you need to take care of yourself too.
Do you have a friend or parent who can come over and watch the kids while you take a break?
There are stages of grief. http://fl.essortment.com/stagesgrief_rbdm.htm
You probably already know about this but I thought it would be good reading. I had a loss last year very close to Xmas. Not immediate family but very close. I am still twisted from it.

 

[Debi]

awww sweetie, I can't offer anything more that's been said. I will keep you in my thoughts hoping life settles a bit for you. I'm so sorry and sad for your loss. I send you my biggest full body ((((((HUGS)))))). we'll at least help cheer you up when we can.

 

[nancy2394]

Elizabeth Kubler Ross has a book out on the stages of death. I'm not sure if that's the one momof7 was referring to or not. But everyone goes through these 5 stages.. but not everyone goes through each step at the same pace.

Have you thought about getting into a support group to help you? There are many support groups out there, check into it.

Have you had the time to cry and let it all out? Sounds like you went straight from your husband's death into caring for your kids alone.

Your son may benefit from a support group for kids who have lost a parent. How is he adjusting to all of it? Please don't try to do this all by yourself. There's no shame in asking for help. Take the time to grieve the loss of your husband so you can move forward. Take care.

 

[bubbatd]

You sure have a lot on your plate !!!!! My daughter ( Nash's mom ) . Was asking for your e-mail address. Do you mind PM ing it to me ?? We're here for you , gal !!!! You sure need support for your loss and your daily challenges.

 

[Squidbert]

I'm so very sorry you have so much to deal with.. I hope you can find lots of strength in this trying time.. good luck to you hun.. take care of yourself.. (((((hugs)))))

 

[squirtsmom]

Thank you a ll. I go to grief support classes but the people there are quite a bit older than myself. I am also very angry that I have lost my husband Walter, and that is also in the way of my grieving. My children are a great comfort to me, but also a lot of stress. I feel better having vented here. My family is pretty nonfunctional, and they havae always depended on me. They still do. Oh well. squirt makes me laugh. She is a puppy, and always into something. Funny that a dog could give me so much comfort. would never have guessed. Sometimes I t hink my baby Lola doesn't want to sleep because she misses her Daddy, but I don't know. I miss her Daddy.

 

[bubbatd]

((((((((( more Hugs ! )))))))))

 

[rij73]

Such a tragedy! You will overcome it, though it is perfectly right to feel angry, sad, and overwhelmed right now. Do keep up the grief counseling... that is very smart. We lost my husband's brother a couple of years ago in a very stupid way, and he left behind his pregnant wife and 18 month old baby. Grief counseling got her through, and she is doing an amazing job with the kids. Not something any young mother should have to go through... ever!

 

[EliNHunter]

Hi, Squirtsmom... this is Amy... Jan's sister and Bubbatd's other daughter. Just wanted to introduce myself and let you know I'm thinking about you and praying for your situation. Life just doesn't seem fair at times, but please keep the faith and know we're here for you.

 

[Renee750il]

You ARE getting depressed - you're tired, you're grieving, you're frustrated, you have too many people depending on you when you should be able to depend on some of them . . . and then you have your two children to worry about. Guess what? You've got a right to be depressed, and angry, and sad, and tired.

One moment at a time. And give yourself permission to have all the feelings you are feeling. Take a little time to be a human being; take a little time to just be woman who misses her husband, friend and lover. Make time to cry. Take time to laugh at Squirt (our dogs really are the best when it comes to healing our spirits, aren't they?). When you are being overwhelmed, stop and breathe.

Don't lose yourself .

 

[Kase]

I'm so very sorry for your loss . (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

 

[Squidbert]

Renee said it best.. as usual.. always great words..

 

[Doberluv]

I'm so sorry. Everyone said everything to echo my thoughts and words. You do need to get some help and a break now and then. Like Renee said, Don't loose yourself. My heart goes out to you and your kids.

 

[dogsarebetter]

((((hugs)))

we are ALL here for you!

 

[Whisper]

I'm so sorry about what has happened to you. There really is no question to why you are feeling this way. You have a LOT on your plate. You can make it through though.
I very much agree with Renee.

(((((Hugs!)))))

 

[sam]

yikes - you have our kind of luck. In the space of a couple of years we went through having a baby, baby being diagnosed with rare fatal illness, baby losing vision, being suddenly down one income since due to sick baby I was not going back to work, moving, dh lost job d/t the roller coaster of our life with our little sicky and a work situation that was unsupportive, a miscarriage, death of a grandma I adored, inlaw probs etc etc etc I am also an RN btw, a tough job to do when you're feeling emotionally fragile! I hope your coworkers are helpful. So if misery loves company I'm with ya
I'm glad you've got your pup to make you laugh and I hope you have wonderful friends to help you carry on.
My coping strategies include exercise for the antidepressant benefits, the dogs who keep me laughing, always having a great book on hand and reading til I'm asleep so I'm not tormented by worry and grief at night, venting to my friends, staying busy (but not too busy) and trying to be nice to myself. I've also been known to take my anger out on telephone solicitators, beat the fridge, yell at God and other less than healthy outlets
I hope something really wonderful comes down the pike for you soon and you get some long restful sleeps. ((big hugs))

 

[Citrus007]

i as well feel for you and your loss. I pray that you'll be able to get some rest and get things under control. I have no advice except look for somre help. I don't know what form- friends, family. But us on chaz are here for you.